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April 2016 Moms
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To get married or to not get married...

yodiggityyodiggity member
in April 2016 Moms
My BF and I were chatting this weekend. We were on track to be getting engaged, married, then kids but life happened and I got knocked up first. We were discussing legalities and what nots for when the baby is born and if we're not married. I know legally, in our home state of GA, he will not have any rights until be becomes legitimized if we're not married when the baby born, even with his name on the birth certificate. I don't know if that's how it works in other states. 

Does anyone have any input, advice, their own stories regarding getting married after the baby is born vs before for legalities? I don't want to get married just to avoid future court filings but we were on that track any way. 

Also, I've been married before so *not* getting married isn't really a big deal for me but BF wants a wedding and such.
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Re: To get married or to not get married...

  • brie_and_almondsbrie_and_almonds member
    This isn't specifically about the legal rights of being married, as in my state, when my BF signed the birth certificate, he became responsible and gained his rights even if he wasn't my daughter's biological father (which he is). After she was here, I was surprised how much I felt like I wanted the same last name as my child. I didn't know it would bother me to be separate. We are married now.
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  • myndihallbergmyndihallberg member
    This is a hard subject. It is different in your state than mine. But if yall love each other and are happy, you don't need a piece of paper to tell you he has parental rights. If yall are comfortable with where yall are NOW, you don't REALLY have to get married. If it's not going to change how he treats, loves, supports the baby, there's no need to really rush it. This is a stressful time, being pregnant. If yall are going to get married regardless you can still wait until the baby comes and everything is settled down. Good luck!! If that sounds rude I really didn't mean it in a rude tone but reading it over it kind of sounds like it but I'm saying it in a supportive manner not rudely! My mom isn't married to her boyfriend and they have a baby together so I support it regardless! Lol
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  • yodiggityyodiggity member
    The legalities are more for if something were to happen to me or to him. And to avoid future legal fees.
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  • TKaiser91TKaiser91 member
    If you're worried about if something were to happen to you and what his rights would be if you weren't married you can always go to the court house and get married. Then once you have the baby have a big ceremony like he wants. Maybe on your anniversary. That was you guys get the big wedding and you don't have to stress over something going wrong or even planning the wedding until after the birth. Either way you chose I'm sure everything will work out well! Good luck!!!:)
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  • BellaNativeBellaNative member
    I don't think you should run out and get married if you guys are not completely ready but it sounds like you were close before becoming pregnant so go for it if you want! I wasn't married with my first and it didn't bother me until I was in the hospital after having her and upon signing her birth certificate I received a copy that read "Birth Certificate of child born out of wedlock" and I broke down and felt like I had made a bad decision in not getting married...you just need to do what will make you happy in the long run! Best wishes ❤️
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  • pinottoparenthoodpinottoparenthood member
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    I don't think strangers on the internet should be your go-to when deciding whether or not to get married. If you're having doubts, maybe it's not the best choice. I don't think that an unplanned pregnancy is a great reason to jump into marriage.
    Amanda

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  • yodiggityyodiggity member
    I wasn't asking strangers on the internet whether or not I should get married. 

    I was asking for advice, your own stories in getting married after the baby is born...legalities and such.
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