Infertility

Well, I'm Obviously Going To Go Insane With Impatience

paisleybrownpaisleybrown member
edited August 2015 in Infertility
I am 8 days post trigger shot. I've been testing the last 3 days and it is nearly out of my system. The line is so faint, it hardly exists. The only symptom I experienced from the trigger was fatigue, coma inducing fatigue. (I lied, there was cramping). Yesterday, I started experiencing breast tenderness, which has increased today. I've also started experiencing obvious nipple tenderness today. I feel like I am currently living in the land of ambiguity. I'm probably imaging any symptoms I have, but regardless, any symptom could qualify as either one, for pregnancy or an upcoming period. My cycle has always been so irregular and I've never consistently experienced a frequency or duration of symptoms from period to period. My point of reference is incredibly shoddy because of this. It is driving me insane living in this state of limbo. 

I have been an infertile myrtle for 10 years. My first husband and I started off thinking if it happens, it happens, but really hoping it would it happen. We realized there was a problem after a time, but weren't in the financial place to address anything. We didn't have any of our ducks in a row, so treatment was put off. When we were 29, we were ready to take the next step. He passed away suddenly and I had no reason to have my issues addressed. 5 years later, I'm finally doing what needs to be done, but only to a point. Our insurance won't cover infertility so our means our limited. I've completed 3 rounds of clomid with only this last one producing a follicle. I can't afford procedures like IUIs and IVFs, so if meds aren't going to get me to ovulate in hopes of pregnancy, I'm out of luck. I'm trying not to stress myself out thinking of that. I'm relatively horrible at this. It's intimidating to read the stories of some of you have had procedure after procedure without success. My heart aches for you ladies and it scares me that my story could be so similar. 

I'm not really sure where I'm going with all of this. I'm just getting a little anxious in my head waiting for one outcome or the other. It's funny how I have gone 10 years wishing for a baby (while everyone else I seem to know has had at least 7) and it's the next 4 days until I can test that are sending me over the edge. 

Re: Well, I'm Obviously Going To Go Insane With Impatience

  • I just wanted to wish you luck and send my condolences for your firsts husband. I do know a couple that were able to get some grants through the state they lived in to help with the costs of IVF and I have heard there are a few grants available out there. I am lucky enough to have great insurance so I don't know too much about it just that they exist. However I hope this works for you and you don't need those grants or further treatments. Best wishes!
    Me - 32 
    Husband - 32
    TTC #1 - since 10/16/2012 
    IVF#1 6/2015 BFN 
    FET 7/2015 - BFP


      Pregnancy Ticker
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  • FX for you! It's definitely a rough wait. Hope you get your giant BFP this month! The 2ww is the slowest time goes, but you're almost there. :)

    On a side note: If you don't respond well to clomid, letrozol is usually an option. It generally has less side effects and better results for women who have not gotten great results with clomid. Also- inexpensive! But both of these meds can thicken your cervical fluid, so if you're working naturally you may want to pair it with preseed or an antihistamine (I've heard these help but never taken/so check with a Dr first!).

    And some insurances which won't cover the IUI, if you ask they will cover the monitoring and meds. Then the IUI itself ranges between $300-600 depending. GL to you!!!!
  • paisleybrownpaisleybrown member
    edited August 2015
    Thank you for your encouragement, girls! I hadn't realized that IUI could be that affordable. Other women I have spoken with said they had spent over a thousand on one procedure, so this is great news. I am fortunate that while my insurance won't cover meds or procedures, they will cover monitoring/ultrasounds (once deductible is met). At $140 a pop, it's helpful, being that I've had several. I am hoping for a BFP, but I'm really not expecting it. I think I hate not knowing either way more than anything.
  • Yeah. When we finally broke down and asked how much we'd pay oop for a 4th or 5th IUI, (only 3 are covered for us), I was shocked when they said $600 total. Then it turned out the monitoring would be covered which knocked it down to $325. We practically yelled yatzee!
  • @paisleybrown I am keeping my fx for you that you get your BFP this go round. I didn't realize that IUIs were so "cheap" either. lol It's crazy that we even consider that cheap, but it is pretty affordable. My insurance covers 6 IUIs, but no IVF. We should have our first IUI later this month, but if we have six that fail, I don't know what we will do next.

    Me: 31

    DH: 29, SA - Great

    Married: June 12,2011

    TTC #1: 1/2014

    Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea

    Treatment: Clomid:  50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored

                      Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI  IUI #1 8/31/2015

    9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!
    Heartbeat 10/2/2015: 118bpm
    DS: 5/27/2016

    TTC# 2: 12/2017
    BFP: 4/20/2018
    EDD: 12/29/2018
  • Thank you, @AdorkablePixie! I know that relatively speaking, what I have spent so far is small potatoes compared to many of the women here, but it's been a small fortune for me. Today, I'm feeling awful PMSy and it just makes me feel like I'm throwing money at my ovaries and they aren't giving me a baby in return. I'm getting a strong feeling that I'll be getting a visit from AF in just a few days and it's disappointing, but to be honest, I do feel somewhat successful. At the very least, an ovary worked and I ovulated. That's rare for me, so I guess it's a step in the right direction. I know I would feel even more hopeless if the clomid failed to cause ovulation 3 cycles in a row.
  • @paisleybrown There you go! Positive thoughts! At least you ovulated. That is fantastic. I haven't even done that, unfortunately. :(

    Me: 31

    DH: 29, SA - Great

    Married: June 12,2011

    TTC #1: 1/2014

    Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea

    Treatment: Clomid:  50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored

                      Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI  IUI #1 8/31/2015

    9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!
    Heartbeat 10/2/2015: 118bpm
    DS: 5/27/2016

    TTC# 2: 12/2017
    BFP: 4/20/2018
    EDD: 12/29/2018
  • So, I started spotting last night and it has continued today. I knew AF was coming, but I was holding out some hope. Better luck next cycle, I guess.
  • @Paisleybrown - ::big hugs:: May next cycle be the one!
    Me: 43, DH: 41
    DS b. 7/4/2011 via c/s
    TTC #2 since 1/2015
    8/2015 - "unexplained IF", started Levothyroxine
    9/27/15 - IUI #1 (unmedicated) - BFN
    10/26/15 - IUI #2 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
    11/21/15 - IUI #3 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN
    12/18/15 - IUI #4 (100mg Clomid + Ovidrel) - BFN

  • Sorry I know how disappointing that is.  Sending you hugs and best wishes for your next cycle.
    Me - 32 
    Husband - 32
    TTC #1 - since 10/16/2012 
    IVF#1 6/2015 BFN 
    FET 7/2015 - BFP


      Pregnancy Ticker
  • @paisleybrown I know the pain and I am sorry. Nothing makes it feel better...but just know that I am thinking about you. 
  • Thank you so much for your kind thoughts, ladies. I ended up spotting for seven days and AF didn't show up until last night. What a crazy cycle. I have to call my nurse with an update today and will be speaking with my doctor next Monday when she returns from vacation. 
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