December 2015 Moms

I don't feel pregnant....

For background; I am overweight (250 LBS) and this is my first. I am 20 weeks and I just don't have any pregnancy signs, I never really did. I had morning sickness really bad in the first trimester but it went away in the 2nd. Other than me being tired all the time and my nipples hurting when touched, I don't have any other signs that I am pregnant. I don't look pregnant, but again, I am overweight. It worries me. Last week I thought I could feel baby, but now I don't feel anything. I'm thinking and hoping it is because I don't do anything, so in turn baby doesn't move much. Really, I do nothing. I sit around the house and sleep. Maybe baby moves when I am asleep and that is why I don't notice it.? I do know that some FTM don't feel it until they are farther along, around 23-26 weeks, so hopefully I am just one of the lucky ones who doesn't experience pregnancy symptoms. Anyone else had this feeling and everything was OK?

Re: I don't feel pregnant....

  • I'm in the exact same boat as you are... I'm almost 24 weeks and finally starting to show. I'm around the same size as you. No symptoms except the painful nipples and being tired. I just started feeling consistent movements about 2 weeks ago. It'll happen for you, it'll just take a little longer :)
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  • I am overweight too (Pre-pregnancy was around 175 at 5'3). The first trimester I only felt like I had the flu full time and I hated every moment of it, and once second trimester came along I was scared because I didn't have any symptoms. While I definitely do have a crazy bump going on to reassure me, I didn't feel movement until late in my 20th week (I think it has a lot to do with the extra padding we all got) 

    You also have to realize baby is sleeping up to 16 hours a day. Though if you are overweight, and you're not working (no judgement so don't get mad) maybe going for a walk would probably stimulate everything. Sitting around can't be very good for anyone. Also different types of food will get baby flipping around (I don't know what you're eating, but maybe baby isn't getting the right type of foods to feel up to moving around?) I've only felt movement for 2.5 weeks but it's as if my little tadpole has taken up gymnastics, so it can get a little awkward at work. 
  • I was only slightly overweight pre-pregnancy, but only started feeling movement yesterday (I'm almost 22 weeks). Otherwise, all I feel is exhausted and the sore boobs/nipples. Also a FTM, which I think is probably why you haven't felt any movement just yet. I know it can make us anxious, I was worried until I realized I was feeling some kicks. But it'll be ok!
  • I'm a 3rd time mum and overweight with this pregnancy, I felt my 1st flutters at 16 weeks and I'm now 20 weeks, I don't feel it often and some days I feel it more than others and their still really light where as during my previous pregnancies where I was smaller in sure the movements felt stronger as the weeks went on, you can't really see I'm pregnant as I carry most of my weight on my belly anyways so even pre pregnancy I looked like I was carrying full term triplets and I still look like that now, I tend to notice baby move more of a night time just before I go to sleep if I'm laying on my right side and also after food if i go to lay down again in my right side but hardly ever if laying on my back, sitting, standing or laying on my left side x
  • I'm not sleeping because I want too. I'll literally fall asleep anywhere. I have no idea why and my Doctor said, "Just sleep, you need it now." I'm off work until September, so it's not like I don't have a job and am nothing but a lazy slob. I work for the school district, so if school is off, so am I. I spend my days alone because my BF works 12 hour days from 6am-6pm. I'm not taking offence to what any one is saying.

    I also eat, when I can, I don't really have an appetite, healthily. Not to say that I am perfect, some days I will have pizza and not eat so well. Majority of the days though, I eat very well. I get all my fruits and veggies in, have my dairy and my good whole grains. I haven't gained any weight, again DR. is not concerned by this at all. 
  • I'm not sleeping because I want too. I'll literally fall asleep anywhere. I have no idea why and my Doctor said, "Just sleep, you need it now." I'm off work until September, so it's not like I don't have a job and am nothing but a lazy slob. I work for the school district, so if school is off, so am I. I spend my days alone because my BF works 12 hour days from 6am-6pm. I'm not taking offence to what any one is saying.

    I also eat, when I can, I don't really have an appetite, healthily. Not to say that I am perfect, some days I will have pizza and not eat so well. Majority of the days though, I eat very well. I get all my fruits and veggies in, have my dairy and my good whole grains. I haven't gained any weight, again DR. is not concerned by this at all. 

    You don't need to defend yourself, enjoy you summer and lounging around while you can. Life is so busy already and will be even more busy when the baby arrives so enjoy it. :) I am in the same situation 22weeks and just started looking pregnant(mat clothes really excentuate the bump) and I just started feeling my lo this week(I had flutters 19-21 weeks) but soo sporadic I couldn't really say for sure it was baby.
    It'll come soon enough momma just have to be patient.
    My husband also works 12 hour shifts so it can get lonely and boring but I have my friends to keep me busy and my dog keeps me active.
  • kepoole said:

    Why are you just sitting around and sleeping? (Really I'm not judging, I don't mean to offend AT ALL) I would have to agree with PP and suggest starting to walk or something. You don't have to start trying to train for a marathon but if it's something that seriously concerns you, change it. What's going to happen when baby is here? He/she is going to need you to be alert and ready to care for him/her at all points of the day, why not start preparing for that now. You'd be surprised how much just a brisk walk around the block would make you feel better.

    If you try laying on your tummy some times that will sort of push baby closer forward and you may feel the movemts a little better!! HTH!

    Just want to point out this is kind of rude and was not the topic of conversation. Let's try to keep the topics inside the lines instead of going straight for the jugular. TIA
  • My husband and I felt the little flutters around 18 weeks. Last night I had the hard spot then went away after about 5 mins of laying down. The only noticeable symptoms I've had are tired and hungry mostly. Lately my back has hurt, even when we're eating dinner. Right now I'm laying in bed on my left side and the middle of my back hurts. I've had headaches, and shortness of breath ..also the dizziness.
  • I'm not sleeping because I want too. I'll literally fall asleep anywhere. I have no idea why and my Doctor said, "Just sleep, you need it now."  

    Have you had your iron levels checked? Your iron could be low making you feel tired all the time. I take Feramax on top of my prenatal as I'm borderline anemic and it has helped a lot with the tiredness. Ask for this to be checked at your next appointment as its an easy fix! Also, staying hydrated helps too...drink more water than you ever thought you could, lol
  • kepoolekepoole member
    edited August 2015
    kdoak2015 said:

    kepoole said:

    Why are you just sitting around and sleeping? (Really I'm not judging, I don't mean to offend AT ALL) I would have to agree with PP and suggest starting to walk or something. You don't have to start trying to train for a marathon but if it's something that seriously concerns you, change it. What's going to happen when baby is here? He/she is going to need you to be alert and ready to care for him/her at all points of the day, why not start preparing for that now. You'd be surprised how much just a brisk walk around the block would make you feel better.

    If you try laying on your tummy some times that will sort of push baby closer forward and you may feel the movemts a little better!! HTH!

    Just want to point out this is kind of rude and was not the topic of conversation. Let's try to keep the topics inside the lines instead of going straight for the jugular. TIA
    @kdoak2015 I absolutely mentioned that I wasn't trying to be rude or offend, I was just asking a few questions to get a better idea of what was going on and suggesting what *i* know could help In feeling the baby move as well as what again *i* felt could help her feel a little more lively which in turn might get the baby moving more forcefully and helping her feel the movements and then again in turn feel more pregnant. In a could pp's there were similar questions. Thanks.
  • OP I again want to reiterate that I In no way was trying to offend you and if I did I sincerely apologize for that.
  • I'm not sleeping because I want too. I'll literally fall asleep anywhere. I have no idea why and my Doctor said, "Just sleep, you need it now." I'm off work until September, so it's not like I don't have a job and am nothing but a lazy slob. I work for the school district, so if school is off, so am I. I spend my days alone because my BF works 12 hour days from 6am-6pm. I'm not taking offence to what any one is saying.

    I also eat, when I can, I don't really have an appetite, healthily. Not to say that I am perfect, some days I will have pizza and not eat so well. Majority of the days though, I eat very well. I get all my fruits and veggies in, have my dairy and my good whole grains. I haven't gained any weight, again DR. is not concerned by this at all. 

    It's definitely hard to eat healthy when nothing looks or sounds or tastes right. As long as dr isn't concerned I wouldn't be either. I hope you feel movements more frequently and strong soon
  • JovanovichJovanovich member
    edited August 2015
    @kepoole I was not offended in anyway. No worries, I understood what you meant and what you were getting at. 


    OMG, why didn't I think of this! I take the gummies right now because in my first tri I couldn't take anything else!! The Gummies don't have Iron in them. I remember my DR telling me to get Iron supplements to go with them and I just totally forgot! I will be switching my Prenatals back to the regular pills with the iron. My next O.B appointment isn't until 9/1, I'll have her check them anyways just to make sure they are normal, or at least going up.! I feel so silly! THANK YOU!!!

  • Hey @jovanovich another idea for your next appointment is to have your thyroid checked - along with anemia it can be a physiological reason for your exhaustion and low energy. But if all your levels are okay, don't beat yourself up! As far as your pregnancy is going you may have an anterior placenta, which delays feeling baby's movements. But it sounds like your docs are happy with your progress so try not to let it weigh on your mind - it will come very soon!

    I have a history of sporadic depression which I've had to work hard to keep one step ahead of for over a decade. It feels just like what you describe you're going through so maybe some of my strategies to keep from getting into that "the more I sleep, the more I need to sleep" cycle might work for you? Healthy R&R is one thing (and you deserve it), but I really feel for anyone in that vicious cycle.

    Best for me (is SO much easier said than done) but to keep yourself on a schedule on days when you're not working. Don't be super ambitious but try to include wake up time, regular meals, exercise, time out of the house, a nap, a few treats, and an ALLOTTED time for your guilty pleasure (mine is reading - I could shut out the world for weeks if I have a stack of good books next to me) and a sensible bedtime to get you a good nights rest. 

    To motivate you to stick with a schedule for yourself and eventually for baby, pick up "the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracy Hogg. And also, if you're like me and feel 100% more convinced to to do something if it'll benefit baby, check out this article on the possible link between getting gentle, moderate exercise during pregnancy and baby's brain development. Every step counts!




  • I definitely had a time period where I didn't feel pregnant, in between the nausea finally going away and when I finally felt the baby start to kick. So, from maybe 17-20wks. Baby is totally fine, and I feel a lot more connected to him now that I feel him moving all the time. I have an anterior placenta and that makes feeling kicks take longer, on top of being a little overweight.

    Have you had an anatomy scan yet?
    DS1: Born 11.18.15
    DS2: EDD- 09.08.17

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • I have been trying to stay somewhat on a schedule. I did pick up new prenatals and I seem to have more energy.

    No our anatomy scan, also our last U/S provided everything still looks good, is 8/19!
  • I am off for the summer too so I know exactly how you feel. If I don't force myself to get up I could easily sleep all day. Sleeping a lot makes u want to sleep more. I have that problem during summers. I force myself to get up everyday and take a brisk walk or do some yoga at home. It's hot so I do it earlier in the day (like before 12). Keeps me and the baby healthy during time off. Exercise as in a nice brisk walk (nothing crazy) has proven to be effective in making babies healthier. In terms of your worries as long as there are no negative signs you are fine. Right now at 20 weeks my only sign is my belly.
  • edited August 2015
    I'm 22 weeks today. I was overweight to begin with but since I was so sick (I had a bad case of HG, severe morning sickness until 17 weeks) so I still weigh the same as I did pre-pregnancy. My belly is just now starting to look differently from my normal overweight belly. I'm just now starting to feel movement (like within the last week or so), so I wouldn't worry. My doctor said baby girl is doing great, and the tech that did my anatomy scan at 20 weeks said she's measuring right on schedule and looks very healthy. No one else seems concerned that I don't feel/look very pregnant, but I have to admit my anxiety has gotten the best of me at times since I didn't feel any movement, even at 20+weeks. Now I feel it when I lay on my back sometimes or if I go somewhere that has a lot of noise. Hang in there, I'm sure you'll feel pregnant soon!
  • Had my ultrasound today. It took over an HOUR to get everything! Baby moves soooooo much. I do have an anterior placenta, which explains why I don't always feel her. Everything looks great and baby is measuring a few days a head, but nothing to worry about. We are team PINK! I think the BF was a little disappointed but he seemed to get over it right away. He really liked the boy name. Oh well, now time to find the perfect girl name! 
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