Returning baby gifts

irsikb · August 2015

My MIl has purchased an expensive gift for the baby, the car seat, stroller and extra base.

While I love and definitely appreciate the gesture, it's not the set I registered for.

I put a lot of research into safety items and the one she purchased doesn't seem as safe as the one I picked out and the reviews aren't great, she really just liked the pattern...no real thoughts other than the look of it.

Is it completely awful of me to return it? I wouldn't care if it was clothes or something but safety items are a whole different story...

maurahalp · August 2015

Wow that is a generous gift! Your MIL sounds like she really wants to help and giving this I'd say to her your concerns about safety. Maybe even show her a comparison? I think she would understand....and if your unsure how it would be received, and since it's your MIL, maybe getting your husband to say it may help!

MadBloom · August 2015

We received a baby monitor that we didn't register for when we had a shower for our first. I returned it and exchanged for the one we registered for. I'm glad we did because there was a recall on the other monitor shortly after my daughter was born anyways.
We did our research and registered for items that reviewed well and if we hadn't received the monitor we would have bought it ourselves anyways.
I'd talk to her and just let her know that you were set on the other travel system because of the safety ratings. Or even fib and tell her the one she got doesn't install well in your vehicle lol. Hopefully it all works out!

dapoint23 · August 2015

I don't know about you, but I did a tremendous amount of research not only into safety, but for a stroller and carseat that fit my particular lifestyle. As PPs have said I would thank her and tell her how generous it is, but perhaps give a few reasons why you specifically chose what you did.

queenwog · August 2015

What you need to remember is that these women come from a different generation, back when carseats weren't even a thing to consider. They don't always know how much safety really plays into which carseat to choose because to them, a carseat is a carseat. My MIL offered me a carseat from her other granddaughter, who's twelve now; obviously the carseat is long past expired but she had no clue they even had expiration dates; her kids didn't have carseats so it's not something she has much experience with.

I'd say exchange it, and if she asks, have your husband explain why you swapped it out for a different one.

mmk29 · August 2015

MadBloom said:
We received a baby monitor that we didn't register for when we had a shower for our first. I returned it and exchanged for the one we registered for. I'm glad we did because there was a recall on the other monitor shortly after my daughter was born anyways.
We did our research and registered for items that reviewed well and if we hadn't received the monitor we would have bought it ourselves anyways.
I'd talk to her and just let her know that you were set on the other travel system because of the safety ratings. Or even fib and tell her the one she got doesn't install well in your vehicle lol. Hopefully it all works out!

So when we bought our travel system we only checked one car and the stroller fit in the trunk. It did not however fit easily in our second cars trunk, and you couldn't store anything in the trunk with the stroller in either car. It turned out to be super annoying and I ended up not using it much. Depending on your vehicle choice, you really could tell a little white lie and use this as your excuse. No feelings get hurt, and you still get the one you wanted.

angelinthepit23 · August 2015

I would think if you just explained to her the safety aspect she would understand. I'm sure she would want the baby to be as safe as possible.

lulamagoo · August 2015

Personally, I would just return it. I don't see a need to explain it to her unless she asks or makes a comment.

Cook3133 · August 2015

lulamagoo said:
Personally, I would just return it. I don't see a need to explain it to her unless she asks or makes a comment.

This ^^ and you could always go with the lil white lie, it had a defect?? You went to exchange and they didn't have the one she bought? That's if you don't feel comfortable just telling her why. Personally I hate conflict with in laws or close friends over what I consider little things so I think that's how I would go about if if I thought they would be really hurt over it. But you know your relationship with her best.

I'm lucky enough my in laws live in different states so if I hadn't liked the one they bought us for our first they would have never known if we switched since we see each other 2x a year.

nbpa3027 · August 2015

Because I am super non confrontational, I would for sure exchange it, but I would come up with an excuse along the lines of the one she got doesn't fit in the car properly, or the stroller doesn't fit in the trunk. Or say that a piece was missing or something came broken that makes you question the integrity of the brand so you got the other one instead.

Like a previous poster said, their generation cannot always wrap their heads around the safety aspect of the seats, no matter how well you explain it. It might come off as ungrateful.

I think you absolutely should get the seat you researched and wanted and say/do what you need to do to make sure you are able to exchange it, but with such a big gift from someone close to you, I would tread lightly.

irsikb · August 2015

Thanks ladies...I just don't want hurt feelings. I'm super appreciative of such a generous gift but I did put a lot of thought and measuring into the one I registered for.

I'll exchange it and tell her it didn't fit right or something. I mean, didn't fit right into my plan is the same as didn't fit right into my car, right?

gkfk · August 2015

Different take - i can't believe that she got you a set that was different than what you had registered for! Nice but kind of presumptuous on her part, especially with items that are so important.

CarrieOct15 · August 2015

I would give her a thank you card for the gesture, but exchange it for the one I registered for. I probably wouldn't even mention exchanging it unless she asked, and then I would explain that although you loved the set she bought, you exchanged it for safety reasons. I'm sure her feelings wouldn't be hurt over that.

saltedcaramelgelatos · August 2015

gkfk said:
Different take - i can't believe that she got you a set that was different than what you had registered for! Nice but kind of presumptuous on her part, especially with items that are so important.

Presumptuous for someone to spend their hard earned money on a gift simply because it's different than what the OP chose?

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