Breastfeeding Bullies

missmarissa711 · August 2015

https://www.thebump.com/a/how-to-deal-with-breastfeeding-bullies

(I posted this on the July board by accident, whoops)

I was surfing around the feeding part of the bump and came across this and thought it was awesome because I deal with my MIL and her constant nagging about pro breastfeeding. I for one am not producing enough milk for my baby to be strictly fed breastmilk and although I have accepted this, it still kind of sucks. I nurse him as much as I can though the day, and pump every 2-3 hours but I cannot get more than 3 ounces daily (I have tried all the tips on increasing milk but none have worked) So I go back and fourth from bottle to breast and supplement with formula which is not what I had planned to do but then I think, has anything gone as planned with this baby? Not quite. He is fed, he poops, he pees, he has put on weight, and he is happy so what more could I ask for? Breastfeeding bullies are a real thing. My MIL is one of them and I plan on using some of those comebacks on her ::evil laugh:: . Thought I would share the link in case any of you ladies are dealing with a breastfeeding bully of your own.

carleym93 · August 2015

Girl, ignore your MIL! Your baby is growing and healthy and that is because of you! Keep it up, mama. You're doing great.

emmacake08 · August 2015

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this. I have PCOS so I was warned when I was pregnant that I could possibly never be able to BF, the supply just wouldn't be there. I don't understand why if someone has tried to do it and it's just not happening, you would bully her for it. Again, I'm sorry that anyone would make you feel bad over this. I was successful in BF twins, and sometimes I worry that people will think I'm snobbish about BF so I try really hard to emphasize that while yes I worked hard at it, my body also complied and made the milk. I never want to make someone feel bad based on how I was able to feed my child. Good for you for all the effort you've put in and try to ignore the bullies. Some people have no empathy or ability to walk in shoes that aren't their own.

vtgoodspeed · August 2015

Yep, there are some of these bullies in my husband's family. I'm kinda in the same boat right now. Doing a bit of everything as LO is small (less than 5th percentile) and Dr. Asked me to supplement as his growth wasn't as expected this past week. After pumping, I've discovered one boob just isn't producing. Odd duct! Lol. I'm probably not going to breast feed much longer. We put enough guilt on ourselves, we don't need other people adding on to it.

CaliforniaDream87 · August 2015

Oh absolutely. I allowed these bullies to send me into a guilt type depression after DS. I mean what's the worse thing a mother can fail at? Feeding her baby "what's best". I soon realized that it's about getting my son fed, make sure he's thriving and happy. Screw anyone who judged me.

This is a lesson that every new mother, who is unable to BF, must learn. Good for you for sticking up for yourself!

EmEeGee · August 2015

Breastfeeding is a lot of pressure all in its own. You don't need the added stress. Is your baby fed, healthy and happy? Then you're doing everything right. No matter how it happens. Stay positive! You're doing great.

llnieden · August 2015

My mother in law is exactly the same. It's driving me nuts. My son was born 8 days early by C section and weighed 10 lbs... My milk took a while to come in and even still I have to supplement because my supply just isn't keeping up with his appetite. I'm very happy with our current solution of pumping and supplementing, but she is constantly nagging me about details of my supply and pushing only breastfeeding.

joiead · August 2015

I don't have anyone bullying me but I have supply issues and also have PCOS. I feel bad he gets mostly formula. Bottle feeding and having to pump is hard work. I feel bad when I think of quitting pumping but I don't know how much longer I can keep it up.

kettlekitten · August 2015

I don't understand why anyone would bully you when you're obviously trying your best?? Bizarre. I think I would probably just lose my shit, shout 'I've tried everything (list all the things), I'm doing my absolute best for gods sake' then burst into hormonal tears and run away...

Ok not a great comeback but they might leave you alone

jesselayne8 · August 2015

My MIL is the opposite. She thinks there is no way my babies were ever satisfied being EBF. For years I have had to lie about what percentile weight my kids were. Because both kids hovered around 10th%, I was clearly starving them.

sandrabrooke · August 2015

I'm able to breastfeed easily... And people say it's good I'm not depriving my child. I always respond by saying that anytime a child gets what it needs to thrive...all is good no matter if it's formula or breast.

Your doing your best!!!!

SassetteSmurfling · August 2015

I think if anyone tried to talk me into any way of feeding my kids I'd tell them to fuck off.
I'm very pro BFing, but I've also struggled with it. My oldest had latching issues, we always had supply issues and she was under weight. I did enough beating myself up over it, I certainly didn't need anyone else throwing their two cents in. We ended up supplementing around 4 months and stopped BFing all together by about 7 months. Let me tell you, I was so much less stressed when I wast worried about my supply every damn day, I was a way better mother all around once she was on formula.

My son nursed for 13 months with no issues.

Now with baby number 3, were 10 days in and I'm ready to be done. My boobs HURT constantly. I'm going to try to stick it out but I wouldn't blame anyone for switching to formula if they felt the way I've felt the past few days.

Point being, every mother is different and every baby is different and as long as you're doing your best and your baby is fed, no one has a right to say anything to you. Besides, do these people always eat the best nutrition they can? Or do they have that slice of pizza or whatever's convenient if they don't feel like cooking?

missmarissa711 · August 2015

SassetteSmurfling said:

I think if anyone tried to talk me into any way of feeding my kids I'd tell them to fuck off. I'm very pro BFing, but I've also struggled with it. My oldest had latching issues, we always had supply issues and she was under weight. I did enough beating myself up over it, I certainly didn't need anyone else throwing their two cents in. We ended up supplementing around 4 months and stopped BFing all together by about 7 months. Let me tell you, I was so much less stressed when I wast worried about my supply every damn day, I was a way better mother all around once she was on formula. My son nursed for 13 months with no issues. Now with baby number 3, were 10 days in and I'm ready to be done. My boobs HURT constantly. I'm going to try to stick it out but I wouldn't blame anyone for switching to formula if they felt the way I've felt the past few days. Point being, every mother is different and every baby is different and as long as you're doing your best and your baby is fed, no one has a right to say anything to you. Besides, do these people always eat the best nutrition they can? Or do they have that slice of pizza or whatever's convenient if they don't feel like cooking?

love this.

lifesabeach85 · August 2015

I hope other than MIL you have lots of support around you. I'm sorry you're being bullied. Parenting is hard enough without that grief! Keep your head up and enjoy this special time with your healthy baby

Miz_Liz · August 2015

I love those come backs! Unfortunately people will always give unsolicited advice and make comments that are uncalled for. I love having witty sarcasm to shoot back at them to shut them up and hopefully make them realize what a horse's ass they sound like. I know lots of kids whose moms chose not to try to BF at all, and they are ALL perfectly healthy, very smart, very happy, adorable kids!! You do what you can and that's all you can do - don't EVER let anyone make you feel like you are less of a mom because you need to supplement. A less mom wouldn't supplement due to pride or whatever crazy they had going on and their kid would be starving and not thriving. You have an adorable son who is clearly thriving and doing just fine, and that is all that matters.

breezymeema7 · August 2015

You are doing a wonderful job @Marissalynn0620 That little boy is loved, happy, and thriving. What difference does a boob or a bottle make.

gulimz · August 2015

I was actually getting bullied by these motherbaby nurses a few hrs ago because I don't even have enough colostrum to give my babe so I've been using 10mls of formula. Well, I'm not hearing the end of it. I'm trying but I'm not trying to starve my child because "breast is best"

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