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April 2016 Moms
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baby trouble

beekeeferbeekeefer member
in April 2016 Moms
I am a college student that have just finish my classes and have to take my internship for the next month so I can graduate in October. But I also have the licensure test coming up and I'm and just really nervous. Then I took the test and it was positive. My boyfriend and I are not ready so we both suggested an abortion but we both knew that we would not go through with it. So now we are keeping the baby. The only bad thing is. He has another year in college till he graduates. I just told my mom recently and she is as mind blown as me. My boyfriend and I were looking for a place and now that I'm pregnant, I'm thinking that maybe the choices that we are looking at is a house or a baby. And abviously the baby is staying.
But since it will be very difficult to rent a house and have a baby, I have been thinking about moving home (4-5 hours away from my boyfriend) just so he can finish and I can take care of this baby the way it deserves to be taking care of. But I just hate the fact of being that far away from him especially with his own child too. But I am lost and I just feel like I am pushing him away just because I don't know what to do with myself. I mean to but I just do not know how to take of a baby when I am just learning to make it on my own with him by my side willing. I am just scared and nevous and trying to remain as calm as possible for the baby's sack but it's just difficult.
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Re: baby trouble

  • imrachelleaimrachellea member
    Well, I've never been in that situation but I can say I'm glad you have decided to keep it. Being a parent already, I can say that in the early months especially you have to put the baby first. It sounds like the distance would be temporary. Have you discussed the options with your bf?
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  • Brandi81012Brandi81012 member
    I as well have not been in this situation either. But I highly recommend talking to your SO about this. It is a very important decision that needs to be made by the both of you. Adoption is also another good option as well. Good luck OP.
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  • pinottoparenthoodpinottoparenthood member
    imrachellea said:

    Well, I've never been in that situation but I can say I'm glad you have decided to keep it. Being a parent already, I can say that in the early months especially you have to put the baby first. It sounds like the distance would be temporary. Have you discussed the options with your bf?

    Agreed. Your baby has to have a home.
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  • myndihallbergmyndihallberg member
    I just want to say with a lot of hard work and struggles and determination you can make this work. My mom was 18 when she had me. Gave up a college volleyball career, put HERSELF through college, and now has a Master's degree and currently going to law school. She is such an amazing woman. It was very hard for her and I could see how hard she pushed through. This was all on her own. You can do anything! Don't give up!! I hope it all works out for you.
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  • ashdawn24ashdawn24 member
    I am so happy you decided to keep the baby! I agree with the above posters that baby will need to come first. It will be hard to be 4-5 hours away from your boyfriend, but it may be best for baby. If you can afford to rent a house or apartment, that would be great, but doing what is best for you, your bf, and your baby will be most important. Remember that school will end and a year is only a drop in the bucket of a lifetime!

    My husband and I had two miscarriages and then decided to stop trying so he could go back to school. About a month after all the final plans were in place we found out I was pregnant. Needless to say we had a tough time: moved to a new town away from family, I had to get a new job at 17 weeks pregnant, provide for our little family, afford to put hubby through school, etc, but we managed! I am now pregnant with #2 (another oops... yes we know how they are made but apparently that didn't stop me getting pregnant :P) and this one is due right at his final exams time :(. 

    I realize that it isn't exactly the same situation, but I can relate in a way. Remember that others will be more than willing to help and that having a baby doesn't have to break the bank! If you need to chat, feel free to PM me!
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  • jessicaabenderrjessicaabenderr member
    I am 18 and I'm 6 weeks pregnant. I was scheduled to go to college in the fall and have since unenrolled so I could stay home to have this baby. My boyfriend, who was going to be at school 6 hours away, is still going to go so he can get an education and help me with the baby. However I feel the same as you, I'm left feeling like he's going to be missing out on the experience and I'm going to end up being alone. I know he will help to take care of me and the baby but living so far away from each other is going to be difficult on us and on the baby. Just remember he's the father and he's a part of the experience too.. Always keep him in mind! And send him updates so he feels more connected to you and the baby. Hope everything works out for you. Congratulations!
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  • beekeeferbeekeefer member
    @ashdawn24 Thank you. That was really help full! But the big problem is I went to school for massage therapy. So while I'm on my internship I am not allowed to get paid or accept tips. Due to the fact that I will not be licensed till a month after I graduate. And by then I will be 5 months. And there would only be a couple of businesses that would hire me for 4 months. So until I get licensed I would need to find a job part time for the next 3 months while I'm on my internship. But with 6 days a week and the hours I have to perform at intern it will be mighty difficult to hold a decent job with uneven time schedule I have.
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  • ashdawn24ashdawn24 member
    @beekeefer That really sucks! I don't really know what you should do. :( I would try applying for jobs, even with the circumstances... if you are open and honest, who knows what might happen? I got hired for a job at 7 months pregnant (albeit it was their own fault, because I applied at 3 months!). I wish there was a solution other than a part-time job with the hours you will be working. I am going to rack my brain for you! :)

    Hugs!
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