Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: --- 2IF Weekly Check-in (August 3) ---
QOTW: We have a 7 year old boxer who is amazing. He's my buddy! We also used to have a hedgehog but he did not like people so I wouldn't recommend one as a pet.
Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
Cycle Status: Beta 1 = 408!!!!! 9dp5dt FET
Beta 2= drawn early this morning, waiting for results 11dp5dt FET
QOTW: No pets, but love shih-tzus, had one as a child and would love to again
Update: Beta 2 =1014!!!!!!!
First Ultrasound will be August 20
I will be saving some very sticky seats for everyone on Pregnant After IF
I have been on Secondary IF since 2012 so believe in yourself and in your body and visualize that pregnancy.
If anyone has questions about IVF/ICSI, DOR, MESA, Azoospermia, Acupuncture, or CCRM feel free to PM me any time.
I will also be lurking cheering everyone on!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have all been so WONDERFUL to me, thank you so very very much, wishing you ALL the best!!!!!!!!
Status: Had IUI this morning.
It hurt because they had trouble getting the catheter in and now I'm crampy and just want to lay on the couch but DD won't let me and DH is at a motorcycle rally in South Dakota.
QOTW: No pets. I'm not a big animal person.
ME: 35 DH: 39
Married July 2011
DD Born 8/12
TTC #2 since 11/13
ME: Submucosal Fibroid Surgery Date APRIL 14th 2015 -Left Tube is blocked by Fibroid~Surgeon removed 26 Fibroids from my Ute and Unblocked my Tube
DH:Azoospermia...Thank God we have 12 vials of frozen swimmers
July 15-Check to see if Ute is all healed
IUI #1 8/3/15...BFN
IUI #2 9/5/15...BFP on 9/17/15
Beta #1-344
Beta #2-809
Beta #3 8,390
1st u/s 8/8/15 1 bean HB 135 @ 6w5d
ME: 35 DH: 39
Married July 2011
DD Born 8/12
TTC #2 since 11/13
ME: Submucosal Fibroid Surgery Date APRIL 14th 2015 -Left Tube is blocked by Fibroid~Surgeon removed 26 Fibroids from my Ute and Unblocked my Tube
DH:Azoospermia...Thank God we have 12 vials of frozen swimmers
July 15-Check to see if Ute is all healed
IUI #1 8/3/15...BFN
IUI #2 9/5/15...BFP on 9/17/15
Beta #1-344
Beta #2-809
Beta #3 8,390
1st u/s 8/8/15 1 bean HB 135 @ 6w5d
Thanks for the check in @ellebelle2384!
Cycle Status:
Had baseline yesterday. There is still a tiny bit of fluid in my ute but my scar looks totally flat not peaked like it has in the past. IVF #2 is a go! Lupron starts on Wed and Gonal on Friday.
QOTW: @ellebelle2384 I wanted to get a hedgehog! We have a 10 year old pug and he's a cutie
TTC #3 since June 2013
BFP #1 7/21/2013--EDD 3/30/14--D&C 9/24/13
BFP #2 1/28/14--MC 2/7/14
IUI #1 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
IUI #2 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
IUI #3 5mg Femara + trigger = BFN
Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
Kid #1 - 09/03/12
Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
#11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
FET 9/23/15 = BFFN
QOTW: We adopted a dog from a friend moving out of the country. We have had her for about 3 months and I pretty much hate her. She needs training bad. I have her signed up to start next week and it can't come soon enough. She eats food right out of the kiddo's hand and runs away whenever we give her an inch. Hopefully we will bond better after some training (for both of us). Really though, taking her in just makes me miss our dog that passed last summer.
Kid #1 - 09/03/12
Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
#11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
@ellebelle2384 So glad we have a date for this FET!! I am so excited to transfer one of your fabulous and healthy frosties!!
@NB817 FX for you!!!
@Frenchteachermama So so so thrilled all is well and IVF is a go! FX for you this cycle
@Flamingemu huge hugs!! Wishing you all the luck in the world tomorrow!!!
QOTW: I have two huge fat orange cats named Gary and Martin. Gary is 11 years old and 15 lbs and Martin is almost 10 years old and is 23 pounds. They are on automatic feeders with expensive ass no carb diet food so not sure how Martin has stayed this big!!! Gary has lost quite a bit of weight though on it.
Kid #1 - 09/03/12
Hysteroscopy #10 - scar tissue grew back reblocking my right tube
#11 or IVF with scarring still inside?
1 lone embryo from September 2016 retreival, dx with Trisomy 16, starting fresh
ME: 35 DH: 39
Married July 2011
DD Born 8/12
TTC #2 since 11/13
ME: Submucosal Fibroid Surgery Date APRIL 14th 2015 -Left Tube is blocked by Fibroid~Surgeon removed 26 Fibroids from my Ute and Unblocked my Tube
DH:Azoospermia...Thank God we have 12 vials of frozen swimmers
July 15-Check to see if Ute is all healed
IUI #1 8/3/15...BFN
IUI #2 9/5/15...BFP on 9/17/15
Beta #1-344
Beta #2-809
Beta #3 8,390
1st u/s 8/8/15 1 bean HB 135 @ 6w5d
Dx: Me: Recurrent Pregnancy Loss; DH: Low Morphology (2%)
BFP#1: MC 3/1/11 at 6w1d - EDD 10/21/11
BFP#3: MC 2/8/14 at 4w5d - EDD 10/13/14
BFP#6: CP 11/6/14 at 4w2d - EDD 7/14/15
IVF #1 with ICSI & PGS: May/June 2015, ER 6/3/15, 17R/17M/15F
IVF #2 with ICSI & PGS: July 2015, ER 7/16/15, 16R/11M/9F
PGS results = 6 normal embryos (4 boys, 2 girls)
FET 9/23/15 = BFFN