August 2015 Moms

STM or TTM leaving first babes while in hospital

So I'm a stm and right now my mom is taking care of my DD. She askes for me and wonders when mommy and daddy will be back home. I'm extremely sad since I had a c section and won't be discharged till mon possible tue. How do you cope with the separation and make it comfortable for LO? My husband is thinking of spending a few nights with DD while my mom stays with me at the hospital.

Re: STM or TTM leaving first babes while in hospital

  • Did you get her a gift "from" the baby? Can she come visit you?
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  • Baby2HGBaby2HG member
    edited August 2015
    Yes she will come visit tomm and my mom will stay with me at the hospital while my dh takes her for the night. Today I guess my mom is taking her to the store and getting her a gift to distract her.
    Miz_Liz said:

    Did you get her a gift "from" the baby? Can she come visit you?

  • Well it is hard, but I've found that having my other kiddos come and visit me has helped in the past. While they would love nothing more than staying with me all the time, I've told them that with this one there are times they can come visit and times where me and the babe need to rest. They understand and while it's hard on me too I know that soon I'll be back home with them. Have your DH take your DD out for a movie, or lunch or dinner and then have him bring her by to see you and spend time together. Then grandma can pick,her up, or if your mom is with you can just take her back to her house. I've also found that I had gotten a big sister gift for my DD1 when my DS was born and she felt so special.
  • I only stayed one night but DH went and had dinner with DS and his parents and put DS to bed so their was some normalacy. I found that I really savoured and still do the four or five hours just my daughter and I had in the hospital that night to bond and relax!

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  • My kids came to see me and baby in the hospital every day. Sometimes twice a day. My husband didn't stay with me. Honestly I don't see the point in SOs staying in the hospital over night (or even all day long... My husband came and went). We had my parents, DH, and DH's parents switching off taking care of the kids throughout the 4 days, but DH was always home for bed time and they always slept at home in their own beds.

    Not that it helps you now, but we also talked about it for the week or two leading up to delivery that mommy and baby would have to stay at the hospital for a few days so the doctors could make sure we were healthy.
  • My kids came to see me and baby in the hospital every day. Sometimes twice a day. My husband didn't stay with me. Honestly I don't see the point in SOs staying in the hospital over night (or even all day long... My husband came and went). We had my parents, DH, and DH's parents switching off taking care of the kids throughout the 4 days, but DH was always home for bed time and they always slept at home in their own beds.

    Not that it helps you now, but we also talked about it for the week or two leading up to delivery that mommy and baby would have to stay at the hospital for a few days so the doctors could make sure we were healthy.

    Everything @SassetteSmurfling said.

  • These are good points. I should talk with DH about what he plans on doing. Last time he was barely at the hospital because of his work schedule. Now he has more flexibility, so he could be with DD at times instead of relying on others. A conversation for tomorrow!

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