@komorebi, THANK YOU! I find myself side eyeing most of the FTM posts here, and I feel terrible, but like COME ON! You really know that little? My biggest pet peeve is the ones about frozen meals. You really think you won't have time to cook with a baby who basically sleeps most of the day? I have 2 pre-schoolers, a husband, and I will still be cooking fresh meals daily! Stop it already!
I've officially gotten to the point my hips feel like they're broken all over again. I literally cried last night because I couldn't sleep. No amount of concealer this morning could cover these circles under my eyes. And my eyes are bloodshot. I'm so freakin exhausted and I don't care if I'm 26 my first thought this morning was " I WANT MY MOMMY!!!" (
I literally cannot wait for Sunday to be off work and stay in my undies all day and do nothing.
Who are these people who say some of this stuff? You asked for it? I might actually stab a bitch.
My fffc, yesterday i ate cheese sticks and a diet dr pepper from sonic, followed by a strawberry ice cream in a waffle cone, sour straws, coke bottle gummies and chicken tenders ON A SALAD to balance it out. Bwahahaha. All i can think of today is sushi or a giant bacon cheeseburger.
My other confession, i don't want to be doing it but i can't help but judge first time moms for not wanting to learn about/prepare for birth. I honestly hope they have an easy time, it's just that i know that's not usually how it goes the first time.
Its lunch time and you are posting all kinds of ideas for yummy food and I'm stuck with a pb&J....I may have to make a sonic run! I'm with you on the second confession. I'm a FTM and I feel like I cant get enough info! A friend of mine who is also pregnant told me "Whatever happens, happens" after I was telling her about some of my fears on delivery from what I read and how I need to prepare for the baby now so I can have a somewhat smooth recovery. I just want to tell her, you lost the right to whine about contractions and don't call me and ask if you can borrow some diapers that first week!
I hear you at @furelise93! We are having the wedding shower and bachelorette party all in one day/night. I'm co-hosting the shower so will be spending 4-5 hours doing that all day then they want to go to the races for three hours then out bar hopping after. I'm at least going to sit out the races part....there's no way I can do the shower then sit three hours in bleacher seats and expect to make it out bar hopping. But YAY!....DD! :-/
I'm 31 weeks and people are so negative and say wait it gets worse. Like what PP have had people say to them. Im so annoyed because what's happening honestly is a miracle for me and I couldn't be more excited. The negativity is so not good for me right now. It's not funny or cute to tell a pregnant woman that. It doesn't make them feel better. We're already worried about making it to full term as it is. So when women that are not pregnant make it sound like pregnancy is an annoyance, I want to slap them. I want to say.... I just want my baby to make it and be healthy. Stupid bitch. or how about this one...... "Awe congratulations is your boyfriend excited"?? Are you kidding me? No.. No he's not. Would you like details ? It's such a weird question. I'm not a high risk pregnant women. But I am a FTM and I am terrified. I swear people use that to their advantage to make jokes. This world disgusts me. That's my rant. Happy Friday lol.
@komorebi, THANK YOU! I find myself side eyeing most of the FTM posts here, and I feel terrible, but like COME ON! You really know that little? My biggest pet peeve is the ones about frozen meals. You really think you won't have time to cook with a baby who basically sleeps most of the day? I have 2 pre-schoolers, a husband, and I will still be cooking fresh meals daily! Stop it already!
I've mostly stocked my freezer for my husband, really. If I end up with a c-section (it could happen, you never know) I know I wont be cooking for while. My DH literally doesnt know how to fry an egg, I REALLY wish I was exaggerating. So it takes the stress off him to have something ready, and what does it hurt to have some meals in there that didnt take me extra time to make since I made them while I was in the kitchen anyway? I like to be somewhat prepared for a worst-case scenario, I dont think that's all that insane. And hey, if I end up not needing them, I'll have some easy yet nice meals ready to pop into the oven for a while! 8-|
@rue It's common to have nannies in this area (NYC/Conn/North Jersey) and be a stay at home mom. A lot of the women in my neighborhood have Wall Street traders for husbands and for them it's a sense a of pride and accomplishment for their wives to not have to work (old-style thinking, I know). But there are a ton of SAH moms here who actually do raise their babies and spend time with them, so the former is thankfully not the most common.
So glad to hear it's not! Just most of the stories I've heard about nannies, the nannies practically raise the kids and the parents are hardly involved. Makes me sad.
Sorry, everything is irritating to me these days. I mean the posts where ladies seriously like think they won't be able to do anything but pay attention to the baby. No showers, no going out, no cooking, no sleeping. Yah, I did all those things. In fact it was much easier to do with just 1 little baby. Now, try having a 1 and 2 year old, then complain to me about how bad you stink from not showering!
DH and I are trying to get our vaccines done for TDAP and the flu. Apparently both my OB and my primary care physician do not do them in office, they send you out. We went to our local pharmacy and my insurance doesn't cover it at the pharmacy, only in a medical profession. That leave Walgreen's Take Care Clinic or the Health Department. I need to call my insurance company and verify that they will cover it in one of these two settings and I'm really dreading it. I used to work for my insurance company and did the training and fixed issues. I worked for the doctors side and we always had to fix the mistakes that member services made by telling members false information. So while I'm almost positive I can get it at those two places I'm really hoping I get someone who knows what they're talking about to confirm it. Sorry I hate insurance companies, I worked for them!
Also sorry but I'm sick of people telling us that we're over-preparing or under-preparing for the baby. We're FTPs. We have little practice with babies, especially newborns. My DH's coworker keeps telling him that he's shocked that we're getting the TDAP and Flu shot and why are we going to all these classes? He didn't go to any and neither did his wife and they're figuring it out. Meanwhile my friends are saying have you done enough to prepare? They don't feel that DH is doing enough to prepare. Mind your own business people! It should be our decision on how much we prepare.
I have another one. I bought sour skittles this morning when I was getting fuel for my car. At about 9:45am I started indulging discreetly behind my desk - or so I thought. Long story short, its now 10:30am and I'm wearing white pants (why I decided white maternity pants were a smart choice, IDK) but I now have a nice rainbow crotch from holding the bag of skittles there while my pregnant lady thighs warmed them up. There's no getting out of this unnoticed but I feel like its just the perfect pregnancy moment to just say F**k it! I'm also inclined to go home to my fiance' and say "Hey baby, how would you like to taste the rainbow?" I'm a perve.
I'm sick of my MIL asking how my doctors appointments went. I just went to one yesterday, they listened to HBs with the Doppler and asked if I had any questions. It's not even worth freaking mentioning! They're still babies. They're still in there. Yes, they move. Yes, they gained weight, they're supposed to. You had three kids! You know ALL OF THIS! Leave me alone ffs! Can't wait until this is over and people will quit asking me about my body. Seriously, if it's unacceptable when you aren't pregnant how does it all of a sudden become okay when you are?!
@komorebi, THANK YOU! I find myself side eyeing most of the FTM posts here, and I feel terrible, but like COME ON! You really know that little? My biggest pet peeve is the ones about frozen meals. You really think you won't have time to cook with a baby who basically sleeps most of the day? I have 2 pre-schoolers, a husband, and I will still be cooking fresh meals daily! Stop it already!
My thing about frozen meals (though no, I haven't started making any) is that I don't WANT to cook, or moreover, I don't want to wash dishes. And this is the case now, with just a 2-year old. If it made financial sense, I'd be content to get takeout every day for the first couple weeks.
Most likely, I'll be making a lot of crockpot meals so the food all basically cook itself and all I have to do is clean the crock pot. Except I might get those liners so I can skip that step.
Sorry, everything is irritating to me these days. I mean the posts where ladies seriously like think they won't be able to do anything but pay attention to the baby. No showers, no going out, no cooking, no sleeping. Yah, I did all those things. In fact it was much easier to do with just 1 little baby. Now, try having a 1 and 2 year old, then complain to me about how bad you stink from not showering!
I get what you're saying. I really do. But, why discourage or put people down for wanting to making things a little easier on themselves pp? I didn't anticipate all of the terrible issues I was going to have with breastfeeding and how it was cause serious pp blues and bonding issues. You never know what lies ahead, so I say, more power to the moms that want to make things a little easier on themselves. Maybe not everyone will be as natural as you were in your first months with baby. No reason to make people feel bad about their situations and what they feel is right. Everyone just wants to do what's best for themselves and their babies.
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@komorebi, THANK YOU! I find myself side eyeing most of the FTM posts here, and I feel terrible, but like COME ON! You really know that little? My biggest pet peeve is the ones about frozen meals. You really think you won't have time to cook with a baby who basically sleeps most of the day? I have 2 pre-schoolers, a husband, and I will still be cooking fresh meals daily! Stop it already!
I've mostly stocked my freezer for my husband, really. If I end up with a c-section (it could happen, you never know) I know I wont be cooking for while. My DH literally doesnt know how to fry an egg, I REALLY wish I was exaggerating. So it takes the stress off him to have something ready, and what does it hurt to have some meals in there that didnt take me extra time to make since I made them while I was in the kitchen anyway? I like to be somewhat prepared for a worst-case scenario, I dont think that's all that insane. And hey, if I end up not needing them, I'll have some easy yet nice meals ready to pop into the oven for a while! 8-|
I also plan on having a few meals on hand in case of worse case scenario. I also know how I was with dd1 with the lack of sleep, her wanting to be held all the time and feeling so sore and not wanting to do anything let alone cook. We picked up a lot of to-go food and it just won't work within our budget this time plus it just wasn't as healthy as it could have been. And having two I have no idea what to expect. I am all for baby wearing to do some activities but I don't think I'd feel comfortable wearing dd2 while cooking in case of splatter.
Sorry, everything is irritating to me these days. I mean the posts where ladies seriously like think they won't be able to do anything but pay attention to the baby. No showers, no going out, no cooking, no sleeping. Yah, I did all those things. In fact it was much easier to do with just 1 little baby. Now, try having a 1 and 2 year old, then complain to me about how bad you stink from not showering!
When I was a first time mom, I made a comment on a birth board about how I made sure to do my hair and make-up, because even if I felt like a whale and none of my clothes fit, at least j could be groomed. I got a response like, "enjoy that while you can. Once your baby's here you won't have time to do any of that!"
Ha! My son was perfectly content to let me shower daily until he started walking. There was a period of him insisting on being in the shower with me, then getting upset that I shower without him, but I STILL shower nearly every day. And wear make-up most of the time. And even do my hair.
I've modified my hair and makeup routine some so I can get ready faster, but having kids doesn't mean all of a sudden you don't have time to do anything but watch your kid breathe 24/7. And I agree it's easiest when they're small (and I'm sure when there's only one).
I do my hair and makeup. I suck at cooking but my guy preps and i cook. Initially the baby sleeps so much. You just have to manage your time better and change isn't easy for everybody.
@smlowe9311 I'm with you, a few meals to keep us prepared won't hurt. I'm sure I'll be cooking meals still, but on those bad days it couldn't hurt to have something I can just throw in the oven.
As far as preparing them....I've been so bad about cooking lately. My back has really been killing me and I'm trying to keep up with the house, the bills, and all the errands and appointments, but sometimes I'm just so tired and it hurts so bad to stand or walk so I'm begging DH to let us get take out. My belly band comes in tomorrow, I'm really hoping that helps my back so I can get back to cooking and keeping up with everything.
I'm much more concerned with nursing while my wild toddler runs free. But we'll have a yard again and the weather will be headed into more reasonable temps so hopefully I can let her run the yard.
@MamaOwl15 You mean I'm not going to have to turn into a crusty troll just to be a good mommy?
Not at all! Despite what all the mommy bloggers in their yoga pants who haven't showered in days might say, it IS possible to get up and put on real clothes, do your hair and wear make-up when you have a kid.
I personally opted for a lower-maintenance hairstyle in anticipation of having two little ones to watch, and I wear flats 99.9% of the time now, but you don't have to give up on looking and feeling cute just to become a mom!
And my issue is more with birth prep. Do you need to completely run the ship? Not if you don't want to, but some basic education of one of the most physically strenuous things you will ever do seems like a no brainer. Your ob will likely not be present for anything but pushing and the nurses are typically to busy to educate and support you. And many of your husbands are going to be scared to death. They'll see the woman they love and their child in a situation that will seem scary and that they lack any control over.
I think it all depends on the way your kid is. There are some that are more high needs than others. Some are laid back, others are more clingy/needy. You learn to adjust
Vincent Julian born on March 27th, 2013 DX with Down Syndrome
Sorry, everything is irritating to me these days. I mean the posts where ladies seriously like think they won't be able to do anything but pay attention to the baby. No showers, no going out, no cooking, no sleeping. Yah, I did all those things. In fact it was much easier to do with just 1 little baby. Now, try having a 1 and 2 year old, then complain to me about how bad you stink from not showering!
I get what you're saying. I really do. But, why discourage or put people down for wanting to making things a little easier on themselves pp? I didn't anticipate all of the terrible issues I was going to have with breastfeeding and how it was cause serious pp blues and bonding issues. You never know what lies ahead, so I say, more power to the moms that want to make things a little easier on themselves. Maybe not everyone will be as natural as you were in your first months with baby. No reason to make people feel bad about their situations and what they feel is right. Everyone just wants to do what's best for themselves and their babies.
Hey now, FFFC remember? I'm not putting anyone down, I am just saying it irritates me how people are saying they want to stock a months worth of cooking, because they won't have time to do anything but stare at their baby. And this was SUPPOSED to be flame free. So no trying to make me feel bad for how I feel, remember? I may just need to stay away from here, like I said, everything these days is pissing me off, and I have enough stress IRL right now.
I just got a prenatal massage and it was so wonderful that I am seriously considering using any cash I get from my baby shower to gettin as many massages as I can before baby comes. Who needs diapers anyway!? My hips haven't felt this good in months.
Guilty here, since I've left my job I've stopped bothering to do make up unless I'm going out or someone is coming over. Granted it's because I like not wearing make up every now and then. I do brush my hair and shower though. I'm a FTM. I plan on just figuring it out. I'll be staying home for the first year and I'd like to keep some of my dignity, I'm also planning on there being some bad days in the beginning where I may just not get my shower in or forget to brush my teeth until noon.
My friend had twins and didn't leave the house for the first year. She had a rough time though. They were traumatized at the thought of leaving the house and would never go down no matter what she tried. In the beginning they were doing attachment parenting and were terrified to put the babies down. After 5 months of not sleeping they realized that it just wasn't working and they had to try a different approach. Things are a lot better now but she had a rough first year with them. I'm not by any means bashing attachment parenting. I looked into it to understand what it was and decided that it would not work for me, but I can see why others may want to try it. I honestly think everyone's situation depends on their kid. Her kids wouldn't stop screaming until they were held. My little cousin is very content with being on her own. Every kid is different.
@FrozenMommy I feel your pain. And you have never thrown that in anybody's face. I have no problem with being prepared but once your body feels better there is really plenty of time to manage the day to day. It just depends on your focus. Breastfeeding can definitely keep you tied up initially but even that can be worked uni life.
I know when I was a ftm I was equal parts annoyed and grateful for advice and realities checks. Now I'm an old pro and I'm still aware that I don't know it all, but damn if I don't have some golden nuggets of wisdom after all this time!
It's a good thing I can barely make toast, otherwise people would be asking me why I haven't prepped my food yet!
As for the presidential debates, I am so angry that we got rid of cable and TV. I know I could have live streamed the debate last night but it's just not the same thing. I feel like I missed one hell of a party!
I think what FrozenMommy is saying is that some women make it out to be that you will constantly be taking care of your child, that you will have little time for the every day life lol As a FTM and someone who has made up freezer meals, I agree with her. I know nothing about babies. I feel like I am the most unprepared woman on this planet right now. I cant read enough books, I can't google enough information, and where I live I have to travel out for birthing classes etc. I cant always make those classes. I know its going to be tough, but I have never considered not taking a shower or not cooking a meal that I haven't placed in my freezer lol I basically made enough meals for the first week or two while I adjust to life with a baby. I personally like the STM that tell us FTM how it really is! I've read too many of those blogs about women who haven't showered in days because they are exhausted or there is a whole list of things to do to prepare for baby. Preparation is good, but I think sometimes we may go a little too far out of fear of the unknown. I would like to hear some of the STM thoughts on key preparations and information on birthing. Perhaps things that we should look into or ask our OB's about. The only person I have is my mom who never had an epidural, who laughs at me when I say I can't have caffeine, and tells me not to put my arms above my head because the umbilical cord could wrap around my babies neck. lol
I think what FrozenMommy is saying is that some women make it out to be that you will constantly be taking care of your child, that you will have little time for the every day life lol As a FTM and someone who has made up freezer meals, I agree with her. I know nothing about babies. I feel like I am the most unprepared woman on this planet right now. I cant read enough books, I can't google enough information, and where I live I have to travel out for birthing classes etc. I cant always make those classes. I know its going to be tough, but I have never considered not taking a shower or not cooking a meal that I haven't placed in my freezer lol I basically made enough meals for the first week or two while I adjust to life with a baby. I personally like the STM that tell us FTM how it really is! I've read too many of those blogs about women who haven't showered in days because they are exhausted or there is a whole list of things to do to prepare for baby. Preparation is good, but I think sometimes we may go a little too far out of fear of the unknown. I would like to hear some of the STM thoughts on key preparations and information on birthing. Perhaps things that we should look into or ask our OB's about. The only person I have is my mom who never had an epidural, who laughs at me when I say I can't have caffeine, and tells me not to put my arms above my head because the umbilical cord could wrap around my babies neck. lol
Same here. We are stocking our freezer with stuff that's decently nutritious and easy to make - not because we think we won't have time to cook, but because we anticipate not WANTING to cook, since we will be adjusting to a different way of life. We're already so bad about not wanting to cook now - I can't imagine that will change with two babies afoot! And who cares anyway...if we decide all of a sudden we love cooking and do it all the time - our stocked freezer isn't hurting anything!
I just want to scream "SHUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP" when I hear or read people comparing humans to animals. Like we should be ashamed of ourselves as a society because this fucking dog doesn't give a shit that his best friend is a cat. Because, racism.
It's an animal and I'm sure it just ate a goddamn squirrel out back so just stfu.
I think what FrozenMommy is saying is that some women make it out to be that you will constantly be taking care of your child, that you will have little time for the every day life lol As a FTM and someone who has made up freezer meals, I agree with her. I know nothing about babies. I feel like I am the most unprepared woman on this planet right now. I cant read enough books, I can't google enough information, and where I live I have to travel out for birthing classes etc. I cant always make those classes. I know its going to be tough, but I have never considered not taking a shower or not cooking a meal that I haven't placed in my freezer lol I basically made enough meals for the first week or two while I adjust to life with a baby. I personally like the STM that tell us FTM how it really is! I've read too many of those blogs about women who haven't showered in days because they are exhausted or there is a whole list of things to do to prepare for baby. Preparation is good, but I think sometimes we may go a little too far out of fear of the unknown. I would like to hear some of the STM thoughts on key preparations and information on birthing. Perhaps things that we should look into or ask our OB's about. The only person I have is my mom who never had an epidural, who laughs at me when I say I can't have caffeine, and tells me not to put my arms above my head because the umbilical cord could wrap around my babies neck. lol
Same here. We are stocking our freezer with stuff that's decently nutritious and easy to make - not because we think we won't have time to cook, but because we anticipate not WANTING to cook, since we will be adjusting to a different way of life. We're already so bad about not wanting to cook now - I can't imagine that will change with two babies afoot! And who cares anyway...if we decide all of a sudden we love cooking and do it all the time - our stocked freezer isn't hurting anything!
I'm agreeing with you ladies. I have my moments of panic and then I remind myself that I will figure it all out. DH and I are actually planning some croc pot meals as well. And FrozenMommy didn't say anything offensive. I would love to have the knowledge of mom's that have done this before have. I agree, we're not going to be holding our babies all day long. I know the breastfeeding and pumping will take some time and figuring out, but I'm hoping to have stuff down and figured out after the first two weeks. I'm still going to go to the classes, read the baby books, and listen to the advice of other moms on here because I don't know anything about babies and I want to do it right.
My friend is social worker in the NICU. The best words of comfort that I've ever had throughout my pregnancy were from her. She always reminds me that she takes care of babies that are born addicted to heroine. She still has to do nip tests on the mothers every time they want to breastfeed. So she reminds me that I can't do much worse than that.
Lol, I'm pretty much unashamedly the most neurotic FTM ever. I'm constantly running around like a chicken with its head cut off being like 'do I need to prepare freezer meals NOW?!' 'Is this crib bedding going to somehow morph into something DANGEROUS?! And like, it's whatever. I realize I'm being totally irrational and try my best to just chill the fuck out.
I have literally lost all motivation/ ability be productive at work. The whole time I'm here my mind is on the million and one things I need to clean and organize at home. But the minute I get home I just want to relax and take a nap. I've maybe tidied up twice this week and the only reason we have had home cooked dinners 4 out of the past 5 nights is because of our wonderful crock pot doing the work for me. Might I add I feel no shame about any of this lol.
LOL MariahOBrien that's a good description of a FTM. My mom just told me she didn't approve of the crib bumpers I bought because the baby could suffocate and that my crib really wasn't a good choice because he might be able to fit his head through the bars. So now I'm frantically trying to find the receipts so I can return them. >Sigh< Why didn't my brain think of this stuff when I bought it? Isn't that supposed to be part of maternal instinct??
MIL is visiting and we were talking about me getting an epidural and she was like NO I didn't need any with all three of my kids.. luckily hubby charmed in and said "Mom you are being so rude she isn't you and times are different now you need to stop" Thank you!!! I am my own person!
I'm a FTM and I'm not making any freezer meals because FUCKIN EW. "Just you wait" no. GROSS GROSS GROSS. I cannot eat food I made this month, freeze it...and eat it in October. Leftovers from the day before, sure. But some frozen stew-sicle? No thank you. I will likely go vegetarian and eat simple quick stuff that doesn't require cooking. Hellooooo farmers market!
MIL is visiting and we were talking about me getting an epidural and she was like NO I didn't need any with all three of my kids.. luckily hubby charmed in and said "Mom you are being so rude she isn't you and times are different now you need to stop" Thank you!!! I am my own person!
Wow. How rude! Good for your hubby for sticking up for you!
Re: FFFC
I literally cannot wait for Sunday to be off work and stay in my undies all day and do nothing.
Trump is a total idiot and is embarrassing. I can't look at him or my morning sickness comes back.
Most likely, I'll be making a lot of crockpot meals so the food all basically cook itself and all I have to do is clean the crock pot. Except I might get those liners so I can skip that step.
I also plan on having a few meals on hand in case of worse case scenario. I also know how I was with dd1 with the lack of sleep, her wanting to be held all the time and feeling so sore and not wanting to do anything let alone cook. We picked up a lot of to-go food and it just won't work within our budget this time plus it just wasn't as healthy as it could have been. And having two I have no idea what to expect. I am all for baby wearing to do some activities but I don't think I'd feel comfortable wearing dd2 while cooking in case of splatter.
When I was a first time mom, I made a comment on a birth board about how I made sure to do my hair and make-up, because even if I felt like a whale and none of my clothes fit, at least j could be groomed. I got a response like, "enjoy that while you can. Once your baby's here you won't have time to do any of that!"
Ha! My son was perfectly content to let me shower daily until he started walking. There was a period of him insisting on being in the shower with me, then getting upset that I shower without him, but I STILL shower nearly every day. And wear make-up most of the time. And even do my hair.
I've modified my hair and makeup routine some so I can get ready faster, but having kids doesn't mean all of a sudden you don't have time to do anything but watch your kid breathe 24/7. And I agree it's easiest when they're small (and I'm sure when there's only one).
I personally opted for a lower-maintenance hairstyle in anticipation of having two little ones to watch, and I wear flats 99.9% of the time now, but you don't have to give up on looking and feeling cute just to become a mom!
I know when I was a ftm I was equal parts annoyed and grateful for advice and realities checks. Now I'm an old pro and I'm still aware that I don't know it all, but damn if I don't have some golden nuggets of wisdom after all this time!
It's a good thing I can barely make toast, otherwise people would be asking me why I haven't prepped my food yet!
As for the presidential debates, I am so angry that we got rid of cable and TV. I know I could have live streamed the debate last night but it's just not the same thing. I feel like I missed one hell of a party!
It's an animal and I'm sure it just ate a goddamn squirrel out back so just stfu.