April 2015 Moms
duttonal
member
Options
Postpartum Sex...it exists?
duttonal
member
Yes it's happened, but I can count on one hand how many times its happend and still have room to spare. I've read posts and articles about postpartum moms who lack the desire to be intimate with their significant other, but what do you do when this isn't the case? What do you do when your husband doesn't want you?
Pretty much from the time I started to show during my pregnancy he was no longer interested in having sex. And honestly that was okay with me. I was one of those pregnant women who didn't want to be touched. And later after discussing this he admitted he was "weirded" out while I was pregnant and just didn't have the desire to do the deed.
But now, at almost 4 months postpartum I'm frustrated and lonely. The few times we have had sex I always initiated it. Then after being rejected 2x, I now don't have the courage to even try.
But let me rewind to my own self image. During my pregnancy I gained 62 pounds! I know, that's a lot. But I'm also 6' tall. Now I've lost 37lbs so far. However, I still hate how I look. I struggle with it daily. But I read and talked to other new moms and they all agreed they struggled with this as well. But the majority ruled that your significant other would think you were beautiful and attractive. After all you did just bring his child into the world! Plus he really wouldn't be thinking about any of that between the sheets anyway. (In my case that was horribly wrong and let's face it we can't even get to the sheets part...)
Now fast forward to the current issue. Honestly, deep down, I knew it. He no longer found me attractive. But after crying myself to sleep for several nights I finally asked what was wrong. The room was silent. He didn't want to admit it. I admitted to being lonely and willing to do whatever it took to fix it. Still silence. I then asked if breastfeeding made him uncomfortable...I could always just pump or go in a different room. (I know bf should not be shameful. I'm a huge bf advocate, but you do what you have to do.) Thankfully he said that wasn't it. Next I asked if my weight made him feel differently. He's response was that it did, but he knew it shouldn't. In his defense you can't help how you "feel" and he did stress the fact that he still loved me. But how long until that fades too? I mean without a mutual attraction, we're just really good friends... I offered to try harder to lose the weight (as if hating my body wasn't enough motivation already), but I know my body will never be exactly like it was before a baby.
Sorry that my post is long. And you maybe asking what is the question.
Honestly, the post is something that I just needed to write down and get off my chest.
But I would like to know if anyone else has had a similar problem or has advice.
And if you feel the need to make a rude comment about my sob story, please refrain and move on to the next person and remember kindness goes a long way.
Thanks,
Pretty much from the time I started to show during my pregnancy he was no longer interested in having sex. And honestly that was okay with me. I was one of those pregnant women who didn't want to be touched. And later after discussing this he admitted he was "weirded" out while I was pregnant and just didn't have the desire to do the deed.
But now, at almost 4 months postpartum I'm frustrated and lonely. The few times we have had sex I always initiated it. Then after being rejected 2x, I now don't have the courage to even try.
But let me rewind to my own self image. During my pregnancy I gained 62 pounds! I know, that's a lot. But I'm also 6' tall. Now I've lost 37lbs so far. However, I still hate how I look. I struggle with it daily. But I read and talked to other new moms and they all agreed they struggled with this as well. But the majority ruled that your significant other would think you were beautiful and attractive. After all you did just bring his child into the world! Plus he really wouldn't be thinking about any of that between the sheets anyway. (In my case that was horribly wrong and let's face it we can't even get to the sheets part...)
Now fast forward to the current issue. Honestly, deep down, I knew it. He no longer found me attractive. But after crying myself to sleep for several nights I finally asked what was wrong. The room was silent. He didn't want to admit it. I admitted to being lonely and willing to do whatever it took to fix it. Still silence. I then asked if breastfeeding made him uncomfortable...I could always just pump or go in a different room. (I know bf should not be shameful. I'm a huge bf advocate, but you do what you have to do.) Thankfully he said that wasn't it. Next I asked if my weight made him feel differently. He's response was that it did, but he knew it shouldn't. In his defense you can't help how you "feel" and he did stress the fact that he still loved me. But how long until that fades too? I mean without a mutual attraction, we're just really good friends... I offered to try harder to lose the weight (as if hating my body wasn't enough motivation already), but I know my body will never be exactly like it was before a baby.
Sorry that my post is long. And you maybe asking what is the question.
Honestly, the post is something that I just needed to write down and get off my chest.
But I would like to know if anyone else has had a similar problem or has advice.
And if you feel the need to make a rude comment about my sob story, please refrain and move on to the next person and remember kindness goes a long way.
Thanks,
Re: Postpartum Sex...it exists?
Thank you all for your support and kind words.