Advice from ladies who don't work full time

oxfordlanding · July 2015

For various reasons I've stopped working and will probably not get another job before having the baby (or after for at least a while). I've been full time employed or contracting all my life so I'm a bit nervous about being lonely and bored. I'd feel like a bit of a fraud at mother and child socials as I don't have a child, and all my friends work full time. Any suggestions for getting to know people and have a bit of a social life? And any tips on how you handle chores? Obviously I'll be doing the lions share now but I don't want to get my husband too used to me doing everything, as he will need to pitch in big time when the baby comes. Advice and suggestions welcome!

wisco29 · July 2015

Lots of Facebook groups for moms, and moms to be.

If you're into baby wearing there is most likely a local group. Mom groups aren't too hard to find if you do some googling- a few groups have a yearly Fee and that includes any get togethers.

We just share chores usually. I've been slacking because I don't move much but as soon as I'm back to feeling good we will go back to just sharing the chores

camusoh2011 · July 2015

Facebook is great for finding groups. Also, some churches do mommy groups so that might be an option for you too. I stayed home for the first year with my oldest and had worked since I was old enough to before that. It was really hard and I did get bored. I also started feeling kinda useless because I couldn't help with bills and hubby had to pay for everything. It wasn't my style.

oxfordlanding · July 2015

I just worry that with mum groups I'll be there with no child and not even much of a bump and everyone will wonder wth I'm doing there. ...

ARogers26 · July 2015

I would just tell them. It wouldn't hurt to find a mommy group that you actually like before baby comes. This is a less stressful way to look into those groups.

FreshBakedBrownies · July 2015

Before my son was born, I took a chance and met up with some other pregnant moms through the local board on the Bump. It was amazing to get to know each other while pregnant FTMs, be support for each other as the babies were born and now get together for play dates.

mrs riva · July 2015

I try to keep a schedule to my day (chores, errands, exercise, make dinner). I also plan at least one lunch date per week. Maybe look for a prenatal exercise class where you can meet other soon to be moms?

Cheryl Renee · July 2015

I'm a full time stay at home mom. I stopped working the week before I had my little girl and never went back. When she was 6 months old and I felt comfortable, I started a home daycare to earn a little spending money. This option isn't for everyone. However, that opened up the opportunity both for my baby to "socialize" as well as me to spend time chatting with the moms whose kids I cared for. This past summer, I also started a play group with several ladies at my church, which has given me and baby girl the opportunity to "socialize".

On a simpler scale, it can be as simple as taking baby to the park. You'll bump into plenty of parents with kids, and most of them don't have a problem starting a convo with you surrounding the kids, which can lead to all kinds of topics! Our local YMCA gymnastics center does an open play forum for kids 1-5 yrs once a week and the public library does a story hour and art time which would be for older toddlers. Check your community!

MamaFroFro · July 2015

I work from home and take the hours I want which is usually part time. Since I work from home, I rarely see people.

I have met some amazing people through the process of getting my masters. I also met really great people through my yoga classes and at the gym. I've also met great people through my volunteer work. I think the key is doing what you love and enjoy and friends follow.

As far as being bored or lonely, there are other ways to fill your time. Hobbies or volunteering for example.

The chores thing caught me off guard. My husband and I understand that sometimes he can do more and sometimes I can. I don't worry about him getting used to me doing more when I am able to because when the time comes and it's obvious I can't keep up, he's is always there to jump in and help.

wagvan · July 2015

La Leche League meetings often have pregnant moms at them if you are planning on breastfeeding. Same for most babywearing meeting if you are planning to babywear... The groups love it when pregnant moms come to learn before baby comes.

kateryna72 · July 2015

I am also a sahm, and I do the majority of the chores around here. Dh and I have an agreement that he has specific chores that he handles. He's in charge of yardcare, home maintenance, fixing everything for our tenant (we have an apartment attached to our house), trash removal, recycling and cleaning the toilets. He works a lot of OT, and isn't around much at all through the week so this is a good compromise for us. It's much easier for us to have a clear divide in our chores.

As for mom friends, I found one of my mom best mom friends through mom meet mom. I had to take the initiative and text her, but I'm glad that I did! I've also done meet up groups from meetup.com. Do you have a prenatal yoga class nearby? If so, that might be a great way to meet some new friends!

Lindsaym5! · July 2015

Things that have worked for me...

I go to a specific CrossFit class everyday. I take my kid. There are lots of other moms and kids at the class I go to.

I joined La Leche League and they encourage moms to be to come. Not sure if you are planning on breastfeeding but I can't say how much they are a huge help with it.

Joined a moms group on meetup.com. You could start you own for expecting moms in your area. I thought meetup was weird at first but it's actually a great way to meet people.

oxfordlanding · July 2015

Thanks for the ideas. I'll give it a go :-) read about baby wearing for the first time today. Sounds like a good idea, but right now mostly it sounds hot!

DaisyTortilla · July 2015

Facebook is good but I like more face to face interaction. I have kids so I go to the park and take the kids to the playground. However, there are also lots of cities that have groups of mommies or those to be that get together and exercise or just hang out, there are also book clubs and volunteer work where you can meet people.
As far as chores, I do the overwhelming majority of the work around here because I am stay at home. However, when DH gets home he will not hesitate to help and he already has his assigned tasks like...dishes, trash and peeping kids for bed. Granted if I notice that he is tired i usually help him out and pick some of those up for him but he knows those are his chores, it's understood. Don't be afraid to ask for help, I know pregnancy is tiring and we sometimes need help.

name1109 · August 2015

You might also try www.meetup.com I had alot of success there for both working, part, and stay at home mom groups.

brushesnbrunch · August 2015

On the chore front, ive been looking to pinterest for the schedules on what to clean daily, weekly, monthly, etc. So I won't feel overwhelmed thinking I need to deep clean the house everyday.

oxfordlanding · August 2015

Lol. My house is so not in danger of a daily deep clean :-)

Sprinkles07 · August 2015

name1109 said:
You might also try www.meetup.com I had alot of success there for both working, part, and stay at home mom groups.

I second meetup.com. I've found great mommy groups in there and there are okay date options nearly every day of the week. I think I paid a $6 membership fee for the year because meetup charges groups to be on there.

As for chores *its my job* as a SAHM I've volunteered to do all the household work. If I really need help and ask for it he helps out. When baby number two gets here he will be helping out more though!

Advice from ladies who don't work full time

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