* Loss check-in * 7.28.15***

stefuge · July 2015

I know it's been a while, but I thought we could do one of these again.

Welcome to the check-in! I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: What is on your mind?

ETA - not sure if anyone is interested, but we could get the PGAL and TTCAL check-ins up again? If you're interested in either, let us know.

MamaBish · July 2015

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

Spent last week at the beach. Spent most of the time just staring at the waves while tearing up. It was really cathartic. DH just sat with me and knew it was what I needed. During one of the rainy days, we were sitting in the sand and the sun started peeking out, a rainbow appeared and I can't help get my hopes up for ttcal. I know it's crazy, but I really want to believe it's some sort of sign.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

Next goal is just to continue healing. I don't know how it feels to be in AA, but I kind of think this is a lot like recovery. The battle is never over and you have to take it one step at a time.

QOTW: What is on your mind?

Art journaling. It's so therapeutic, I think it benefits those of us who aren't writers and I want to help others to heal.

Also, ttcal check in would be great!

stefuge · July 2015

@MamaBish - The beach sounds amazing! What a great escape. And I agree, I don't think we will ever be done grieving. And i kind of don't want to. I think that would mean being "over" losing Colton, or "okay" with it and I don't want that.

kistra · August 2015

Hi, I have been lurking for a few months. I lost my son at 22 weeks in April. We conceived him after 5 years of trying and 11 months of working with a fertility clinic. My due date is on Tuesday.

This week I have been telling a lot more people. We found out our son was sick before I announced my pregnancy at work and I didn't know how to tell people that I was pregnant but not very likely to have a baby so I just didn't tell people. But now I need to talk about him so it is a much more awkward conversation but it has gone well so far with everyone I have told.

My next goal:

I don't know.

On my mind, I feel like I can't think about anything other than that right now.

I would like a TTCAL check-in. Hopefully it won't take as long to conceive #2.

@MamaBish - What is art journaling?

MamaBish · August 2015

Hi @kistra
I am so sorry for your loss.
Art journaling is great for expressing your feelings. Sometimes you just use colors to show your emotions, sometimes you can draw a scene that shows it. I like to use a word or phrase to help, basically writing the word and surrounding it with colors and designs to express it.
I joined am online grief workshop that gives me prompts for art journaling. I will attach one or 2 examples from my journal. The first is just something i felt. The second is supposed to illustrate my grief journey.

stefuge · August 2015

@kistra - I am so sorry for your loss and that you are joining us here. The need to talk about our babies is totally normal and I feel like most of us feel the same way. There is a quote I love, although I can't remember who it is from, "the sound of my child's name may bring a tear to my eye, but is also brings a song to my heart." Which I think is just so true.

I'm sorry you're struggling with not having told your co-workers when you found out your son was sick. I don't know whether this helps at all, but my co-workers were all told when we lost our son, and i was out of work for over two months recovering from a c-section, and only a couple people ever said anything and that was only in the immediate time after. Any time I being up my son now, almost two years later, it is still completely awkward. Unfortunately, I think that is just reality. People don't know what to say and they think saying nothing is better.

We will be thinking of you and your family on Tuesday - EDDs are so hard - and I have found that the anticipation of a milestone day or anniversary is often harder then the day itself. ((Hugs))

ikrystal · August 2015

stefuge How great of you to post this check in! I'm a little late to this, so I will join in if there is another one

kistra · August 2015

@MamaBish - thank you for the explanation of the art journaling. Your first example really resonated with me.

@stefuge - thank you for the welcome and understanding, I keep trying to focus on the few people who have been amazing,

msunshine123 · August 2015

Sorry I'm late to respond. Thanks @stefuge for starting this check in!
@mamabish - I love your art journaling pics. They depict how I felt at the beginning of my loss. I was all consumed in my grief and the idea of having a living child of my own seemed impossible challenge.
@kirsta I am so sorry for your loss and to welcome you to this board. This is an amazing group of women and I hope you are helped just as much as I have been. Hugs to you.

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