Making friends vs meeting people

verveine407 · July 2015

Hi! I had to share this link because as we head toward this really big change -just over a month for most of us!- we are going to find a lot of things have shifted for us. Not just our bodies have changed but for the FTMs a whole new social status : Mom!!

I was the first of my circle of friends to have a baby and it was a shock to suddenly find myself at a loss for people to talk to and do things with. They didn't stop loving me nor I them, but after one really hectic, OMG is your child exploding and what is up with your leaky boobs, trip to the beach I got a Lot less phone calls. So I set my sights on meeting moms, at the park, Gymboree, play groups, anywhere! That was also confusing though because sometimes I would meet a mom and our kids would get along great we would exchange numbers and then... Nothing. Didn't she know we were destined to be BFFs?! So I started reading about friendship, (it is very different making friends as an adult than it was as a teen or college student) and one if the best things I came across was Shasta Nelson's friendship blog - www.girlfriendcircles.com/blog/

A couple weeks ago S15 had a whole thread about how hard it is to make friends and how hard social situations can be. I started out that way for sure but needing to find women to talk to eventually lead me out of my little cave and now I feel confident about making friends. Meeting new people is still sometimes hard for me but in this blog post "top three tips for making new friends" Shasta explains why meeting people and making friends are different things.

Whatcha think?

rachelkawesome · July 2015

I think the blog post is right! It's interesting because all three tips are ultimately about not being afraid to put yourself out there (by being open, by initiating contact, and repeating). I agree with all three. I think if you are open to talking and meeting people, and share some personal information with someone to bond with them, they'll see you're real and like that about you. If you ask to hang out, most people are going to be up for it (and if they're not, then it's probably on them and not you). The nice thing about being an adult is that you don't have to act distant to be "cool" - in my social circle at least, people just want to hang out with others who are fun and friendly and genuine.

YTuMamaTambien · July 2015

Thank you because I thought I was the only one. I have been living in this town for almost 8 years and have yet to make a real friend. I have clicked with many but we always just lose touch. I have even tried using dating sites to find friends! There are people I hang with but they all feel forced. Anyway I will look at the link you posted and hopefully it will be a big help.