Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
mattandlora
member
Re: Mommy war confessions
-I only bathe my kids once or twice a week (less in winter more in summer)
-My kids watch TV 3 different times in the day.
-what's a baby book? I shove some things in a box and I do an annual family album with some notes if I'm lucky
- I blow off all kinds of health and safety advice. DS has a diaper tan line going on and he doesn't bathe in a puddle.
- DS doesn't have a set bedtime. He has trouble sleeping on his own and I'm not going to bed at 8 pm.
- I had hoped to be able to do a couple of hours a day of non-mommy/household work by now. What a joke that's turned out to be.
- 'Clean enough' has a revised definition in our house.
- What's a baby book?
-DS wore the same outfit almost 24 hours this week. (I was waiting for it to get it dirty and it never did!).
-Even when he does spit up, I'll often just wipe it off and leave him in that outfit, until it gets unbearably stinky
There's no such thing as a perfect parent and anyone who claims to be is lying.
My 6yr old son and my 2yr old daughter are both still sleeping in our bed and have been for several months. I know thisis dysfunctional but I'm too exhausted to do anything about it.
I don't make my kids take baths every day either. Every other usually.
My DS has an iPad and I don't closely monitor what he's doing. I mostly just eavesdrop and if I hear something inappropriate I yell at him to turn it off. Most of the time he's just playing mine craft.
I let my DD watch stuff on my phone all the time. I have been known to allow it Meal time if daddy's not around.
And my biggest confession... I have a horrible potty mouth!! DD was playing football on the beach with daddy and DS. Threw the ball and when it didn't go far she said Aww damnit. Not a proud moment. I resist but every now and again I slip.
Why does it have to be split between BF and FF? I don't want to be associated with the militant group. I'm in the "want to lose weight, don't want to buy formula or prep bottles at night, but I'm cutting them off on the 1st birthday" group. Where's that one? Sign me up.
The best was how she gushed over me for donating extra milk to the milk bank for NICU babies. I was like "no biggie. It's just taking up space in the freezer that I'd rather use for ice cream. "
**siggy warning**
Current Age 35, DH 33
Married 9/2011
BFP 8/2012, Miscarried 9/2012
BFP 9/2012, DS 6/2013
BFP 6/2014, Miscarried 7/2014
BFP 7/2014, DD 4/2015
@mattandlora. When I went for my pp check.. The NP was talking about how much she just loved nursing her babies who are now teenagers. She mentioned that her oldest was like 3 when she was nursing her youngest. At one point he apparently asked for her breast and she said ok and let him nurse. My DD who is 2,5 has never once asked to nurse and I just don't see why you'd say yes. But she said she missed nursing him and didn't want to create a problem by saying no. I mean what problem .. He's stinkin 3!!! All mine are cut off at first birthdays.
Don't even get me started.
I've never been super great about tummy time either. He lays on his tummy on me at this point.