FB Shower Invitations

ChiccoBeanz · July 2015

How do you ladies feel about people sending out their shower invitations via FB and making it an event? Also, what do you think about having online baby showers? I didn't know this was really a thing until the bump.

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Online-Baby-Shower/493942880617983

ETA: I do NOT have fb nor do I care for it. I'm just trying to start a discussion to bring some life to the board. Plus I'm curious about everyone's opinions.

katie10287 · July 2015

I do not like the idea of sending out invites via Facebook. I think it's tacky plus then what do you do for the people who don't have it? Send out half online invites, half paper ones?

I think an online baby shower is possibly one of the most gift grabby things that I've ever heard of! I'd just laugh and give a giant nope if invited to one.

taysun · July 2015

Personally, and I'm not even part of the etiquette police, I don't like it unless every one invited is young and active on Facebook. Not everyone has Facebook, and I don't think my grandparents would understand. I also think invitations are a nice keepsake for the baby book and possibly the grandparents to be if they like that sort of thing.

wassuphoes · July 2015

Tacky tacky tacky.

fwtx5815 · July 2015

Tacky and lazy. Even people who are environmentally conscious could at least send a paperless post invitation through email if they're opposed to mailing paper invites. Even that's a stretch though bc it's very easy to find recycled paper to use for invites.

Facebook invites remind me of college.

VOR · July 2015

I think a FB invitation is lazy and kind of loses some of the "class" of the event, but it's not the worst thing in the world.

However, an online baby shower????? No. Just no. That's a TOTAL gift grab. At least w /a traditional shower, the guests get a (hopefully) nice afternoon and the chance to spend some time w /friends and family and w/ the MTB. Have some good food, etc. An online shower- all you really "get" is the chance to go buy someone a gift. Oh, wow, thanks.

Latina211508 · July 2015

I don't have a Facebook so I guess I wouldn't be invited lol. But I never heard of having online baby showers. I'm not too fond of it.

Designermomma · July 2015

I hosted a baby shower for my sister and when asked for the addresses of invitees, she wanted a Facebook event because she didn't know a lot of their addresses. I think the younger generation just lives on Facebook. I was horrified but did it but also mailed paper ones to our relatives.

bluemoonlight · July 2015

I think it depends on the situation. For example, I have lived places where there was no address so there was no mail service so sometimes doing things through email, phone, Facebook, was just how things got done. That being said, I feel email or phone would be better if mail was not an option to avoid hurt feelings. Even if a Facebook event is private it's easier for those who are not invited to find out about it and it can hurt feelings.

DrillSergeantCat · July 2015

The only thing I would use Facebook for is to ask for addresses so that I could send an actual invitation.

eliztheforrizz · July 2015

Gross.

Sassenach1743 · July 2015

I hate the idea of a FB group invite. Tacky. If you must use an online invitation I feel that Evite is a better (less tacky) avenue. Mainly because Evite is designed to be an online invitation site that remains private (i.e. there's all sorts of privacy options, showing or not showing the complete guest list, etc.) On FB everything is public. I know they have privacy settings but when organizing a group message or invite I feel the margin for error much greater. Inevitably somone will share or comment or whatever and somehow people who might not be invited can find out. Plus, I just feel like it's lazy and informal. Not to mention that most people (like me) don't check FB daily so they may not notice an invitation or message right away. And then there are those without FB altogether, bless them... I am envious.

I don't know. My opinion is skewed simply because I can't stand FB. I hate that I have an account at all. I would much rather send and receive a real invitation than see a FB announcement. But that's me. I enjoy written letters and greeting cards too...

ChiccoBeanz · July 2015

I think it's all tacky, but I was curious on what everyone else's opinion was.

DrillSergeantCat · July 2015

Just got on Facebook and saw this:

ChiccoBeanz · July 2015

@KittyCatKCCO I love the invitation and that they know so much about their new arrival, but the fb invite kills me. That's one thing my mom always drilled into me: Send out proper invitations!

DrillSergeantCat · August 2015

ChiccoBeanz said:

@KittyCatKCCO I love the invitation and that they know so much about their new arrival, but the fb invite kills me. That's one thing my mom always drilled into me: Send out proper invitations!

The invitation is super cute and I'm glad she included the stuff her new son likes and needs. I just couldn't get over posting it on FB like that.

neverblushed · August 2015

It's a terrible idea. There are a million ways that this could be awkward and hurtful to people, and it makes the MTB look gift grabby.

I know people do it because it seems easy and convenient. But it's a bad idea any way you slice it.

And online baby showers are a big no-no. They're just a gift grab. Tacky.

fwtx5815 · August 2015

Designermomma said:
I hosted a baby shower for my sister and when asked for the addresses of invitees, she wanted a Facebook event because she didn't know a lot of their addresses. I think the younger generation just lives on Facebook. I was horrified but did it but also mailed paper ones to our relatives.

I didn't know the street address for most of my friends and family when I got married this past Spring. So I just asked them. I don't know why that's a difficult concept for young people (and I am a young person!)

FrozenMommy · August 2015

So in this day and age, most everyone IS on digital something or other. We sent out paper invites, but then 2 weeks go by, and I think you know what, many of my friends are the type that won't call someone, but they will click a button. So we made a FB event as well, and immediately people we hadn't heard from RSVP'd. So I am all for it, but I still send out traditional ones too. For my kids Bday, I sent out the FB one 3 months in advance as more of a save the date thing, and then sending the paper ones out next week.

fwtx5815 · August 2015

FrozenMommy said:
So in this day and age, most everyone IS on digital something or other. We sent out paper invites, but then 2 weeks go by, and I think you know what, many of my friends are the type that won't call someone, but they will click a button. So we made a FB event as well, and immediately people we hadn't heard from RSVP'd. So I am all for it, but I still send out traditional ones too. For my kids Bday, I sent out the FB one 3 months in advance as more of a save the date thing, and then sending the paper ones out next week.

Is your kid's birthday on Christmas or something? 3 months in advance for a save the date for a kid's bday party.. yeesh

FrozenMommy · August 2015

@fwtx5815, nope. I just throw a large party for both of my kids, since they are 2 weeks apart. Large like 100 people, bounce house, snow cones, face painting. So I see nothing wrong with planning far in advance. Why can a wedding save the date be sent 6 months in advance, but a party can't be 3?

fwtx5815 · August 2015

@FrozenMommy if you can't see the difference in the level of importance between a wedding and a joint birthday party.. I don't think me trying to convince you will do anything. They are totally separate things.
There are worse things one could do, but generally sending out an invite one month out is the norm for this type of party (and the polite thing to do).

FrozenMommy · August 2015

See, with busy schedules, I think more advance notice is proper these days. When your friends all grow up and have more important jobs and responsibilities, and with school starting since it's September and we have people coming in from all over the place, I like to know in advance what is going on. I am talking my entire family, in laws, friends with kids. I have friends who go to conventions, and take trips, and so for me, 3 months means there is a better chance that they can plan to be there. I like seeing my friends. I think you are taking the "I want more gifts for my kids" attitude, and thinking that's why I am doing it. But it doesn't matter if they bring gifts, I just want to see my friends, and their kids, and have a memorable and fun time together.

FrozenMommy · August 2015

And you're right, you won't make me see the difference. To me, a lavish wedding is a waste. There are much better things I could spend my money on, and a gift is expected of me. Is a big wedding any more important than say, mine was? At city hall, with 10 guests? Honestly, to me it's just an expensive party. You can get married anywhere, for free....

fwtx5815 · August 2015

FrozenMommy said:
And you're right, you won't make me see the difference. To me, a lavish wedding is a waste. There are much better things I could spend my money on, and a gift is expected of me. Is a big wedding any more important than say, mine was? At city hall, with 10 guests? Honestly, to me it's just an expensive party. You can get married anywhere, for free....

Let me spell this out for you since you seem to not understand. A person will hopefully get married only once in their entire lifetime. They make very meaningful vows in front of their friends and family if they choose to have guests, and for a lot of people, this is also a momentous religious experience.

Your kid turns another year older every single year.

I don't know where the hell you got the idea that I was bashing private wedding ceremonies, but that was absolutely not anywhere near what I was saying, so you can drop the victim act. It's over the top to send STDs for a birthday party three months in advance, just like brides on the knot are advised to wait until the three month mark to send invitations when they actually WANT to send them 9 months in advance. It's just overkill IMO.

ChiccoBeanz · August 2015

fwtx5815 said:

I hosted a baby shower for my sister and when asked for the addresses of invitees, she wanted a Facebook event because she didn't know a lot of their addresses. I think the younger generation just lives on Facebook. I was horrified but did it but also mailed paper ones to our relatives.
I didn't know the street address for most of my friends and family when I got married this past Spring. So I just asked them. I don't know why that's a difficult concept for young people (and I am a young person!)

As someone counting down the 40 days to her own wedding, I must admit that my age group and down, some older people too, were HORRIBLE about RSVPs. SO stressful. But I can't with fb. I don't even have one. If I did, I'd use it to request addresses, but that's about it. I had to get one person's info through freaking instagram because she kept changing phone numbers. Total nightmare.

fwtx5815 · August 2015

FrozenMommy said:
And you're right, you won't make me see the difference. To me, a lavish wedding is a waste. There are much better things I could spend my money on, and a gift is expected of me. Is a big wedding any more important than say, mine was? At city hall, with 10 guests? Honestly, to me it's just an expensive party. You can get married anywhere, for free....

Also, as someone who just had what you would consider a wasteful wedding, as long as guests are properly hosted, it shouldn't matter to anyone else what the couple spent on their wedding. If your friends really EXPECT a gift because you attended their wedding, you have rude friends. It's a nice gesture, but definitely not required. A card should be given, but the rest is up to the giver.

ChiccoBeanz · August 2015

YIKES... to this back and forth I'm reading...

wassuphoes · August 2015

....So, as an adult, if I have the choice between attending a convention or other "adult" time over a kids birthday party......

It's not likely I'll be at the birthday party. I'll send my regrets and a tasteful gift though.

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