horrible things my mother says

bossmomma · July 2015

I know I'm emotional to start with and sometimes I'm very difficult to be around, but today from 9 am until 4:30pm today I listen to my mother call me a fat whore told me about 50 times how she want to hit me in the face. She put my husband down right along with my little brother (who has no job and has a baby on the way himself). I'm ready to tell them all to piss off. My husband and I have been together since I was 15 I'm 28 in a few months so I don't get how I'm a fat whore. I don't ask my family for anything they don't even take my kids over night and never have. My hubby just went from making 24.60 an hr to 31.30. I'm very proud of him. No we didn't always know how to manage our money right we were young and dumb just starting out. But when I've been living on my own since I was 16 and have never asked for help always found a way to stand on my own two feet. There should be no reason to talk to me like shit or put my husband down. I don't get it. I want to scream and as I sit here and get all this off my chest, I feel guilty for being upset like I am blowing this out of proportion.

flas · July 2015

Your mom called you a fat whore? Holy shit in no way are you overreacting! In fact I would say based on the fact that you didn't blow up at her you under acted! I literally don't even know what to say because I just can't wrap my head around a mom doing that to her daughter. Vent away girl, you deserve it.

KeHill08 · July 2015

Umm no, you are definitely not blowing it out of proportion. If my mom treated me like that and said those things to me, I would feel upset and angry too. That's uncalled for and you don't deserve that, no matter what the circumstances.

ElleMF728 · July 2015

Get this toxic person out of your life. Does she talk to you like this frequently? If she behaves this way towards you, your brother and YH she will talk this way to your children. That is not okay, threatening physical violence and verbal abuse is serious and should not be tolerated from anybody.

tayzav · July 2015

I cut my mom off years ago, for different reasons, but it sounds to me like maybe she doesn't need to have much of a relationship with you and your growing family. She sounds toxic to be around. I know not everyone can just stop talking to family that's like that like I did, but I can say my life is muchhhh less stressful not having to deal with the negativity my mother brings. I hope you're able to at least defend yourself. She isn't being very nice. Good luck. And no, you aren't over reacting.

bossmomma · July 2015

@ElleMF728 she has been like this since I moved out.

ElleMF728 · July 2015

bossmomma said:

@ElleMF728 she has been like this since I moved out.

This is not a healthy relationship. If you don't feel comfortable cutting her off completely (please consider this) then you need to set firm boundaries about her behavior towards you and your family. If she starts becoming disrespectful that is your cue to leave the conversation, hang up the phone, grab your purse and leave etc. The way she acts towards you is not normal and is not okay and its also not okay for your children to hear her talk like this either to them or to their mother.

ashleywuli · July 2015

I agree with pps. You are not over reacting, I also suggest you completely cut her out of your life. She must be very sad in her own life to talk to you like this. Good luck! You deserve so much better.

helsbels222 · July 2015

Cut her out of your life. At least that's what I do with abusive people in my life. Doesn't matter who they are. Would you want her calling your daughter a fat whore?

bossmomma · July 2015

The hub called her and let her know until she can respect me and our home she is no longer welcome here. I was really put off by the thought of putting her in her place so I let him. I have a very difficult time standing up to her. But today was more than I could handle.

maura+c · July 2015

bossmomma said:
The hub called her and let her know until she can respect me and our home she is no longer welcome here. I was really put off by the thought of putting her in her place so I let him. I have a very difficult time standing up to her. But today was more than I could handle.

Good! I'm glad you had your husband say something! At least you have the decency to have respect for her (even though she doesn't treat you with any). I think your a strong women with a good husband. I agree; it would be extremely hard for me to say something to my mother, but then again I haven't been in your position. Now that he has spoken your peace, she should understand how your feeling about the way she spoke to you is not ok. The ball is now in her court!..If she wants to change her actions and how she speaks to people. But please understand, the way she speaks to you and your brother is not either of your issues... it's absolutely hers!!!

ashleywuli · July 2015

bossmomma said:
The hub called her and let her know until she can respect me and our home she is no longer welcome here. I was really put off by the thought of putting her in her place so I let him. I have a very difficult time standing up to her. But today was more than I could handle.

I am so happy you stood up to her!! Now the ball is in her court. She can either get with the program and be a good person or be gone from your life. You deserve to have someone who is caring and compassionate towards you. Just remember this isn't a problem with you it's her! Let this also be a guide on how you will never be. Stay strong and good luck!

rubirubi89 · July 2015

Yikes! Cut her off!! Do you want you child hearing someone talk to you like that? Get your child away from her!

Soyyoyary · July 2015

So sorry to hear your going thru this. Mother and daughter relationships are difficult at times.Right now you need to care for yourself and LO. You don't need the stress. Take some time apart to think and decide if you want your mother in your life or not. Good luck

BlondeMomma92 · July 2015

You are most certainly not over reacting! I can't believe that your mom would say something like that! if that had been me and someone was talking to me like that, my mother or not i'd of probably slapped her. which is probably not called for but neither is being spoken to that way.

CarrieOct15 · July 2015

Time to make a cut! If she is calling her own daughter that, then she has some issues that she needs to deal with. Don't feel guilty - just recognize that she has issues, and staying away is best for your family. Ignore her calls, keep your distance, and let her come to her senses. If she doesn't, then good riddance!

VexedMommy · July 2015

It sounds like your mother is a very troubled person and it has nothing to do with you. The level of hate it sounds like she is spilling out is not normal and makes me wonder if she has psychiatric issues. If she can not treat you respectfully, you have absolutely no obligation to be around her. You did not ask to be her child so anything she did for you growing up should not be thrown back at you. Please try not to feel guilty for standing up to her or having a proxy stand up to her on your behalf. *hugs* I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

Squirtgun · July 2015

Reading your original post I was getting really mad myself and I don't even know your mom! Previous posters have said it all, I just wanted to add: I'm so happy for you that you have a supportive husband who cares enough about you to be there and have the conversation that needed to be had with her!

ohang10 · July 2015

That sucks you're going through this. Thank goodness you have a supportive husband. Do yourself a favor and focus on your family, and get away from the negativity.

Kanne0729 · July 2015

Yeah, if your mother called you a fat whore you're in no way overreacting. I could never even imagine my mother saying something like that to me, that's an awful thing to say coming from anyone especially your own mother. I know she's your mother, but if this how she regularly treats you then I think it's about time that you cut ties with her, at least until she learns how to treat her daughter.

TaraNocole22 · July 2015

You are in the same boat as myself. I did in fact cut all ties with my mother because she was always negative towards me and it started to effect my life. I have also cut ties with my sister. I'm not gonna lie it definitely is difficult to do but I have been less stressed out since I did and being high risk I shouldn't be stressing out all the time like I was. It just made me learn to never treat my kids the way my mother treats hers. I have a 8 year old boy and a little girl on the way and I be damned if I'm gonna talk to them the way my mother talked to me.

bossmomma · July 2015

Update: still haven't heard from her. I guess she needs more time to figure out how to be nice

KatieSetler · July 2015

bossmomma said:

Update: still haven't heard from her. I guess she needs more time to figure out how to be nice

Good! Just try to keep staying strong, and don't give in!

babybean0015 · July 2015

It took me years to excommunicate the toxic family in my life. But I have to protect my self from people who deliberately tear me down. It sounds like you should do the same

Craiggles · August 2015

Your mother sounds like she might be mentally ill. Either way, im very sorry youre dealing with that, that's terrible. Moving forward, my advice is to get away from her the next time she starts her nonsense. Good luck.

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