Annoying friend

nakoppel · August 2015

I may have posted a little bit about this before but I this friend. She is 16 weeks pregnant and when she told me I was SO HAPPY for her. She's been trying to get pregnant for awhile and had trouble keeping a pregnancy. She has been asking for my advice/what I've experienced. She doesn't usually listen to me which is moderately annoying but it's her body/her pregnancy. The flip side of this is she keeps saying she understands how I feel (being so big/uncomfortable/wanting to be done). Also, she keeps giving me advice. But I'm not asking for it.. It's always stuff about what to do about my contractions like since I'm 1 cm dilated and having contractions i need to go to the hospital because clearly I'm in labor -_- She won't listen to me when I tell her exactly how and why that's incorrect. Or telling me what to pack in my hospital bag etc. I'm not super close with her but I have started to be a little forceful back and just say 'Well when you are this pregnant you'll understand'. I'm just really loosing patience with her and it's funny because she was just complaining to me last night about unsolicited advice she gets. I'm just unsure what to do with the exception of just not talking to her.

AshleyM0125 · August 2015

My go to line is just "oh just wait, you haven't seen anything yet." It's a not so subtle dig at her being not very far along (compared to us, anyway). I say it for everything and eventually they get the point. It's not rude, exactly, but I think it kind of gets the point across.

MouseMama817 · August 2015

At 16 weeks I highly doubt she understands how you feel with uncomfortability and feeling huge. If she does, it's certainly not due to pregnancy. I can see how that's annoying-- sometimes we just want our complaints to be our own!

I wouldn't want anyone giving me advice about whether or not I'm in labor either if they've never been there themselves. But then, I'm someone who really hates know-it-alls.

How are you guys communicating when she says all this? If it's text/FB/email I would just ignore her or completely change the subject anytime she gives me unsolicited advice. Hopefully that will get your point across and it would also prevent any arguments that may affect your friendship.

Seed0824 · August 2015

When she complains about getting advice, I would tell her that everyone has different opinions on these things and that's why you ignore what people tell you.

nakoppel · August 2015

@AshleyM0125 that's sort of been my go to line with her she usually INSISTS that's she knows which is why it's becoming really unbearable. @messymolly08 exactly lol I just want my complaints to be my own, even if that is slightly childish. And her telling me I am in labor when she is a first time mom as well (and a very nervous one at that. She was convinced her mucus plug was coming out the other day and it was a bad sign) is the most annoying thing. It's all over text. I don't want to be rude by ignoring her but that maybe the best thing instead of eventually snapping at her.

SashaDenn25 · August 2015

I think I would be one to just ignore her all together, but thats just me and my personality. You can always just wait and let her see how it feels when she gets this far. Sometimes I think people just want to find a way to connect though and she could be doing this with you. You all are both pregnant now but she is so much earlier than you are she just may be trying to be able to relate to you.

nakoppel · August 2015

@SashaDenn25 you're probably right about her just trying to connect. I think I probably will just have to ignore her until I can get a little more patinence

SashaDenn25 · August 2015

That is exactly the route I would have to take or I would possibly become really rude with her! Lol

mriee · August 2015

Either ignore her or get her to sign up to the bump she might finally get the hint

) and learn a few things in the process.

nakoppel · August 2015

@mriee she is on the bump lol! When she was asking me questions about her mucus plug I was like "oh g-d here we go!"

kettlekitten · August 2015

I would attempt to approach it with humourous digs at her... When she complains about being over it, say something like 'well you've only got a mere 24 weeks and 15kg of weight gain to go!' Or comment on the fact she probably isn't even wearing maternity clothes yet...

She probably is just trying to relate but I understand about wanting 'your own' complaints - you wouldn't mind so much if she was at the same stage as you but she clearly has a long way to go before she is in your shoes.

When she gives you incorrect advice you can say 'thanks for the ideas but that's actually not quite right, just so you know for when you get to this stage of pregnancy, it's actually xxxxx correct info xxxx'.

Good luck - she sounds like a pain in the butt

nakoppel · August 2015

@kettlekitten I think those are good ideas! Some of them I've tried but she INSISTS she does get it. But I think I will try saying 'well you've only got x amount of weeks to go

'. And she is a huge pain in the butt despite meaning well lol.

mriee · August 2015

nakoppel said:
@mriee she is on the bump lol! When she was asking me questions about her mucus plug I was like "oh g-d here we go!"

Oo really well "don't" tell us her user name lol. God I do feel for you though I'd have snapped at her already you sound like a saint.

nakoppel · August 2015

Haha she's on the january board

Kwest1007 · August 2015

I def get how it can be annoying now that I'm 9 months but I do remember, at even 5 months I thought oh man, how can 1 get any bigger? Thankfully I've had an easy pregnancy but the weight gain was/is def hard for me. Especially when I wasn't able to hike n run like I did previously (this was a lot for me mentally). At the time, my best friend was 3 months ahead of me in pregnancy and probably had the same thoughts ur having now. Lol. I'd say to try n be patient w her. Like others said, she may just be trying to relate or she could be somewhat like I was and having a tough time w the chances psychologically. Either way, do what you feel is best for yourself! You don't want any extra stress at this stage in the game.

nakoppel · August 2015

@Kwest1007 I get that she's trying to relate and I think I do need to be a little more patient with that aspect which I think is I why I don't really want to cut her out entirely. The thing that gets to me more is when she tries to give me advice on being in labor etc or insists that because im having BH im in real labor.

Kwest1007 · August 2015

nakoppel said:
@Kwest1007 I get that she's trying to relate and I think I do need to be a little more patient with that aspect which I think is I why I don't really want to cut her out entirely. The thing that gets to me more is when she tries to give me advice on being in labor etc or insists that because im having BH im in real labor.

Yes those comments would annoy me too!!

sarahmu7 · August 2015

At least she's pregnant and trying to relate. I have a friend who would give me all kinds of "advice" even though she's never been pregnant and has only been a baby sitter, not even a nanny. Take it with a grain of salt. She means well even if it annoys the crap out of you.

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