Help.. I just need encouragement

lwoodruff15 · August 2015

My babies father decided he didnt want to be a father yet.. Just walked out on us.. Happened about two weeks ago. Im struggling so hard right now. Depression is hitting so hard ive cried myself to sleep almost every night..i know itll get better but im having troubles reaching the light. I go to my doctor Tuesday and will be letting her know about my depression. I just dont understand hes not even going to give our little girl a chance. How could you just leave like nothing even happened

lwoodruff15 · August 2015

Im going to add that im scared to death to be having to do this all on my own now. Im scared for my daughter, i just want the best for her

BowWowBowie · August 2015

First of all, I'm so sorry he was so selfish to walk out of both of your lives, especially your beautiful, wonderful little girl. Depression is hard, and I'm not going to blow smoke telling you to take each day at a time/it's going to get better soon. It's never an immediate healing, it will get easier, all with time. I'm very glad you're going to talk to your doctor, be sure to be completely honest with any and all emotions you're going through. Don't feel like a failure because you're needing help, you're the opposite. You're strong. Being a single parent is a scary thing to think about/go through, but you can do this. YOU are the best thing for your daughter. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm only a message away.

oliarnmom1517 · August 2015

I know it's going to be tough but it's not impossible.. My mom raised two kids under two by herself.. Days will be hard but nothing is impossible.. You can do it! I know it sounds scary and as PP said everything will get better with time.. It won't be an immediate change but everything will get better..

WeddingNotes13 · August 2015

This is a very difficult and overwhelming situation, but out can do it. I am so glad that you will be talking with your doctor. You are doing this without the father, but do not have to do this on your own. Please use your doctor and other resources to find additional sources of support for you and your daughter.

lyankowi · August 2015

H of 5 years left me in May told me he wasn't happy anymore. Good luck I will keep you in my thoughts and you can always message me if you need anything.

grapesoda1111 · August 2015

So sorry you are going through this, I too battle depression as it runs in our family. There are ways to manage it! I hope things turn around for you. It is so sad he doesn't want to be apart of her life. Praying for you.

snlyon0614 · August 2015

Where do you live?

thefithuntress · August 2015

I'm terribly sorry you're going through this. My mom raised me by herself and I'm much better for it. My father was a piece of garbage. It will be hard at times but you two will become thick as thieves and she's going to love you more than anything. That I know!

Allow yourself to be upset. Give yourself the time you need to grieve. As this happened so recently you have every right to be sad and feel down. It sounds like you are already taking the steps necessary to begin the healing process by talking to a professional. You will smile again. Best of luck to you and your daughter.

jscelis · August 2015

I understand how you feel. I'll be a single mom just like you, 24 weeks now and will be having a baby boy. Had a complicated relationship with the father, so I will be going through this whole pregnancy without a partner. I'm scared and cries sometimes too at night. But It's ok and totally normal. Life goes on. Just focus on your baby. Your family and friends will give you all the support you need. Have faith and I know we can do it. Always think that your baby girl is a blessing and everything will be ok. Take care of your health and your baby.

Elyse1384 · August 2015

Sorry you're going through this. Not that it's very helpful to you now, but some of the strongest, brightest and most amazing people I've met have been raised by single parents (e.g. SO left, SO passed away). Having watched my aunt go through much of my cousin's life as a single parent, I can say that as an observer it seems difficult, but it can be done. Stay strong - you can do it!

belladonna115 · August 2015

I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I was raised by a single dad. I know it can be hard..at least from watching him. Please know you are really a strong person and you've got this. Hang in there and stay strong.

mmk29 · August 2015

I'm so sorry you're going through this and I'm glad you'll be speaking to your doctor. I don't blame you for being scared at all, but know you can do this. Try to find some support groups for single moms in your area and try to lean on some friends or family, but you've got this. The best mother I know had her husband walk out on her a week after her son was born.
Good luck and don't beat yourself up. He was selfish, you'll find out just how strong you are, and take a little comfort in most of the best memories of your life are on the way. *hugs*

lwoodruff15 · August 2015

I didnt think id get this many replies.. Thank you..

lwoodruff15 · August 2015

Thank you everyone! Knowing i have this supoort makes me cry. But happy tears. I know itll get better but the light of this is so hard to find right now. Very excited to be having my little girl but im scared for her. Like when she gets older and realizes she doesnt have a dad and wants to know about him.. Hes not going to come around at all just because shes born. I just wish there was an easier way to do this. Being at work is now better than coming home because everyone there is so caring. Itll get better tho

lwoodruff15 · August 2015

snlyon0614 said:
Where do you live?

Knox county area in Illinois

scw89 · August 2015

I'm sorry this is happening to you. Never an easy situation.

futureglory263 · August 2015

i'm so sorry to hear about baby's father walking out.. you are right, it is not fair to you or to your little girl. yes, it's scary and overwhelming to think that you have to manage this, but please know that you have help. i'm glad that you're taking the initiative to take care of your own health by seeing and talking with your doctor.

do you have any family or friends that you can reach out to right now that might be able to help you through this? looking ahead just seems so overwhelming, so i know you can get through this as you take it one day at a time.

snlyon0614 · August 2015

lwoodruff15 said:

snlyon0614 said:
Where do you live?
Knox county area in Illinois

I'm sorry you're going through this! I was hoping you lived closer (i live in Texas) was going to invite you out for "coffee" or something. I'm really sorry you're going through this, I can't imagine what you're going through.

I would say though, try not to make decisions right now on rather or not he will be allowed to come around, I'm sure he's scared and what not...and perhaps one day will recognize the terrible mistake he's made and try to make it right. I'm no one to tell you what to do, but I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, and some which took a second chance to reconcile.

My heart goes out to you

rachswi · August 2015

I'm next door in Mason County! We are down to one car so I'm not overly mobile, but you can message me if you'd like.

poupoule · August 2015

So sorry he did that to you and baby... I can't imagine what could have gone through his head. As if it could go away like that.

I hope you will find a great support around you. I am pretty sure I would leave everything and go back to france live with my mom if it happened....

lwoodruff15 · August 2015

Ive been thinking about going back and living with my mom. Im just not sre i can do this all alone

poupoule · August 2015

See how it goes and how you feel, you still have time, but if you two have a good relationship, and if she welcomes you, it would be helpful, morally and physically especially at the beginning...

Unica1302+ · August 2015

I know this is hard but be strong and maybe thankful it happened sooner than later. I have a close cousin that had a baby and you could just tell the guy wasn't into it from the beginning. The relationship dragged on til baby was almost two and ended bitterly. She says it over and over again now almost 10 years later, "I should have let him go and let it end than put us all thru it for almost 2 years". My niece is fine and thriving. There is a good support group and other male figures in her life. She understands mom and dad just didn't work out. I know its hard and the road looks rough now but you will both be ok.

Penn2walk · August 2015

I'm the product of a single family home. In my 30 years I've seen my sperm donor twice. He has 6 children none of which he takes care of or has a relationship with. His absence upset me from time to time but I still graduated h.s., joined the military, became a veteran, became the first in my family to graduate from college, then earned 2 masters. But for me the true testimony of his absence in my life is not the things I've obtained but the contentment I have in my spirit. I'm not angry or bitter with him or any other man for that matter. I realized his absence strengthened me in ways I couldn't imagine. His irresponsibility wasn't a handicap but catapult in my life. I'm hopeful that your child will grow past his idiocy. Be encouraged.

CarrieOct15 · August 2015

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I commend you for deciding to speak to your OB about it, because I know asking for help is never easy.

My mother was on her own at 16 when she had me, and she is hands down the best mother any daughter could ever ask for. I'm grateful for her every day, and even though I know it wasn't easy for her, she did everything she could to make sure myself and my siblings were happy. It's all you can do.

Stay strong!

lwoodruff15 · August 2015

Went to my OB today abd she decided that i should start counseling. I start that tomorrow, which im iffy about. And im starting to realize that its better he leaves now than later.

ashleywuli · August 2015

I am so sorry you're dealing with this. I am glad that you spoke to your doctor about this and are going to counseling tomorrow. My mother was a single mom, my father passed away when I was 2. I know it was hard at times for her but like her you can do this! Just know that you are way better off him leaving now rather than later. You will be such an amazing mom to your little girl. Best of luck!

taylorherrgesell · August 2015

If someone doesn't want to be there or isn't ready odds are you're better off without them I apologize if that's too blunt or comes off as rude but it's the truth just keep your head up once babies here you'll feel much different:)

Want a personalized experience?

Help.. I just need encouragement

Re: Help.. I just need encouragement

Choose Another Board

Search Boards