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I think I was rude

MeandthekidsMeandthekids member
in Infertility
Im trying to have a second baby and its been difficult. I had a positive pregnancy test but a couple of days ago I found out bad news and now going through a miscarriage. But I am being positive and will be trying again soon I wont give up. So today Im sure my friend was not being incensitive towards my situation and innocently asked me a question. She clearly was not thinking, she is trying to have a baby herself which comes easily for her but at the same time with a risk. Her baby could be born with a terminally ill dissability so she needs to get tested and decide weather to keep the baby depending on result. She txt me today and asked me if I thought she was being selfish in wanting to have a baby knowing the risks. That although our situations are not the same but she thought that she understood my feeling in wanting a baby but it cant happen so easy for both of us. So i responded with a not so nice answer I guess or maybe Im entitled to it, that I was sorry but that I was going through a miscarriage and I was not the person to talk to. I know she was looking for support too though....she did apologize for her txt
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Re: I think I was rude

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    AMT&THCAMT&THC member
    I am so sorry to hear about your mc. You are entitled to your feelings, but I think it sounds like you really value your friendship too. With that in mind, I'd say just apologize for being short with her. It sounds like she'll understand and she should. You have gone through a lot lately. She is going through a lot too. You need each other. Sending prayers. 
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    Drove2uDrove2u member
    Couldn't have said it better myself. You're both going through a rough time. It's ok if you were short or rude especially if you explained yourself too. Sorry to hear about the mc. :-(
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    MKLEWIS2010MKLEWIS2010 member
    I agree with PP.  Sending you my condolences. 
    Me - 32 
    Husband - 32
    TTC #1 - since 10/16/2012 
    IVF#1 6/2015 BFN 
    FET 7/2015 - BFP


      Pregnancy Ticker
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    AdorkablePixieAdorkablePixie member
    I agree with everyone else. I am sure she will understand, just make sure you apologize. I'm sure after the fact she thought to herself that what she did was inconsiderate. I bet she just wasn't thinking.

    Me: 31

    DH: 29, SA - Great

    Married: June 12,2011

    TTC #1: 1/2014

    Diagnosis: Hypothalamic Amenorrhea

    Treatment: Clomid:  50mg, 100mg, 150mg - not successful and not monitored

                      Menopur 75ml (upped to 112.5ml), Ovidrel, & IUI  IUI #1 8/31/2015

    9/15/2015: BFP HCG - 400, 9/17/2015: HCG - 827, 9/21/2015 - HCG 3,327!
    Heartbeat 10/2/2015: 118bpm
    DS: 5/27/2016

    TTC# 2: 12/2017
    BFP: 4/20/2018
    EDD: 12/29/2018
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    przemosbabeprzemosbabe member
    Pretty insensitive of you in my opinion. However I am very sorry for your loss and could imagine it would be hurtful to discuss pregnancy with someone, but I do think you could have given her the same message more tactfully. She is also having a struggle concerning babies, and although it's different than yours, I'm sure it's still painful to her.
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    dvg716dvg716 member
    A true friend will understand what you are going through, just like you understand what she's going through,  When you are in a better place, make an effort to apologize and be there for her.   Sorry you are going through this!
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    obizyanka obizyanka member
    Sorry for your loss. Seems insensitive of your friend you are trying to make a baby and she is deciding if she should kill hers....
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