October 2015 Moms
VioletandRose
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TDaP Vaccine and relatives. Help a girl out.
VioletandRose
member
I realize that there are several posts regarding the TDaP and vaccines in general, but there is a lot of information and superfluous posts to wade through to find what I'm looking for. Hopefully some of you well-educated ladies can spare some thoughts on the matter.
Today at my OB appt, the doctor brought up the TDaP vaccine. I already had my Rhogam shot today, so they agreed to do mine at the next appointment, and my fiancee will get his as well. The doctor recommended that anyone around the baby update their vaccine. I consider my doctor to be pretty liberal in terms of 'requirements' but she was basically insistent that me, my fiancee, and anyone else who will have regular contact with the baby, update their vaccine.
I can't even believe I'm posting this, but my own mother is giving me sh*t about getting the vaccine! I have never discussed vaccinations with her before and am extremely surprised that she has this stance on the matter. When I casually asked her to get the vaccine (over email), she starting going on and on about vaccines and adverse reactions, how they cause Autism, how she's afraid SHE will have a reaction to the vaccine, how she has lived through the times of Polio and Scarlet Fever and other contagious diseases and came out fine. For the record, my brother and I received all of our vaccinations and are healthy. She now tells me now that apparently after a vaccine when I was a baby, I spiked a fever of 104 and had convulsions and "she believes" it was from the said vaccine. She said that she hasn't seen a story about a baby contracting Whooping Cough in years and that I'm being paranoid. Well, of course I sent her numerous websites and articles about babies who have died from Whooping Cough. In turn, she sent me websites about adverse reactions to vaccines (anti-vax sites).
Obviously we're talking about two different issues here. One, her getting the vaccine, and two, vaccinating my baby. I already told her that sorry, I'm not one of these anti-vaxxers. My child will be receiving all of his or her vaccines and she does not have a say in the matter. Still, she refuses to get the TDaP vaccine herself because she's afraid that SHE will get a reaction. She doesn't live super close (about a 1/2 hour away), and won't be seeing the baby daily, but will be staying with us for about a week after the baby is born. My fiancee's stance is, "no vaccine, no grandchild." I'd like to be a little more diplomatic with her. Also, she is a smoker and I have yet to have the conversation with her about smoking and then holding the baby, which I'm sure will cause even more tension. Can anyone recommend some good talking points or articles that might convince her to get the vaccine? Or are we being too rigid about her receiving it...like, is it really not that important in the long run?
Thanks so much.
Today at my OB appt, the doctor brought up the TDaP vaccine. I already had my Rhogam shot today, so they agreed to do mine at the next appointment, and my fiancee will get his as well. The doctor recommended that anyone around the baby update their vaccine. I consider my doctor to be pretty liberal in terms of 'requirements' but she was basically insistent that me, my fiancee, and anyone else who will have regular contact with the baby, update their vaccine.
I can't even believe I'm posting this, but my own mother is giving me sh*t about getting the vaccine! I have never discussed vaccinations with her before and am extremely surprised that she has this stance on the matter. When I casually asked her to get the vaccine (over email), she starting going on and on about vaccines and adverse reactions, how they cause Autism, how she's afraid SHE will have a reaction to the vaccine, how she has lived through the times of Polio and Scarlet Fever and other contagious diseases and came out fine. For the record, my brother and I received all of our vaccinations and are healthy. She now tells me now that apparently after a vaccine when I was a baby, I spiked a fever of 104 and had convulsions and "she believes" it was from the said vaccine. She said that she hasn't seen a story about a baby contracting Whooping Cough in years and that I'm being paranoid. Well, of course I sent her numerous websites and articles about babies who have died from Whooping Cough. In turn, she sent me websites about adverse reactions to vaccines (anti-vax sites).
Obviously we're talking about two different issues here. One, her getting the vaccine, and two, vaccinating my baby. I already told her that sorry, I'm not one of these anti-vaxxers. My child will be receiving all of his or her vaccines and she does not have a say in the matter. Still, she refuses to get the TDaP vaccine herself because she's afraid that SHE will get a reaction. She doesn't live super close (about a 1/2 hour away), and won't be seeing the baby daily, but will be staying with us for about a week after the baby is born. My fiancee's stance is, "no vaccine, no grandchild." I'd like to be a little more diplomatic with her. Also, she is a smoker and I have yet to have the conversation with her about smoking and then holding the baby, which I'm sure will cause even more tension. Can anyone recommend some good talking points or articles that might convince her to get the vaccine? Or are we being too rigid about her receiving it...like, is it really not that important in the long run?
Thanks so much.
Re: TDaP Vaccine and relatives. Help a girl out.
I hate to say it but you need to stand your ground. This is so very important for quite a few reasons. I'm with your dh, she will have to keep her distance until she gets it or baby is old enough to get it. I certainly wouldn't allow her to stay in your home.
Put your foot down! This will set precedence to everything else your mom may try to side step as your child grows.
If she is a smoker, she really can't say much about health risk from a vaccine... c 'mon now! Fwiw, I am a former smoker and smoked for 20 years, I'm not just being judgy. Good luck!
Her fears are real, the possibility of a reaction is real. I can say this because I suffered the sever side of the reations as a child.
Sit down with her in a calm manner to express your concerns and why you will be doing this. Lay down your rules for guest, and if she doesn't want to abide by your rules tell her you're not comfortable with her staying.
I hope you're both able to come to some sort of agreement that will leave you comfortable and feeling baby is safe- and your mom feeling like she's on good terms with daughter and grandbaby. Good luck
If I told my parents that, my mother would get vaccinated, but my father wouldn't and he probably wouldn't speak to me for a long time !
In my experience, people who have made up their mind to be anti-vax cannot be dissuaded with evidence and articles and studies. You cannot control everyone, but you can control who gets to be around your baby. I'm not saying get into a fight with everyone who disagrees, but you have to stick to your guns.
Tell your mom, or anyone else who has a problem with it, that this is the choice you have made, and that they need to respect the choices you have made as a parent. They don't have to like it, but they have to live with it. Good luck.
That is why the CDC recommends women get the tDap vaccine in the third trimester of every pregnancy now - the antibodies pass through the placenta in large quantities based on titer testing. Getting it after birth only allows for minimal antibody transfer through breastmilk based on titer testing.
Get the vaccine during your pregnancy and your baby will be much better protected than having every single person who will be in contact with the baby vaccinated.
There are several threads about the tDap so search for those if you want to read through the links within the threads. Lots of good info.
You can't make her get it. All you can do is offer info. She may not listen, but she is an adult and will do as she wants. Good luck.