Help? No judging please

mylinda91 · August 2015

I had sex on Feb. 9th and he finished in me twice. Then on Feb. 14 I had sex with another guy and he pulled out. My last period was Jan. 30. My doctor says my baby was most possibly conceived during the 9th to 13th. Is there any way that the baby could be the 2nd guys, the one that pulled out? I am already getting a DNA test but I still feel it's the guy who didn't pull out..

brianna91chavez · August 2015

Yes, it could be the guy who pulled out. The first time I got pregnant me and my bf were using the pull out method. It doesn't always work. There are sperm in precum and precum can come out at any time during intercourse. There's no real way of telling right now to be honest. Those dates are pretty close together and you can never be 100% sure of when you ovulated. Also sperm can live for up to a week I believe and an egg has 24-48 hours to be fertilized. That's why the doctor told you it could have been between the 9th and 13th.
No judgement here but you might get some...
My advice is to try not to stress yourself out about it too much because there isn't much you can do about it until the baby is here. I hope both guys are willing to step up and be there for you and the baby and I hope everything works out for you.

thefithuntress · August 2015

While it's probably likely to be the first guy it is absolutely possible it could be the second. It only takes one sperm. You'll definitely need to wait for the paternity test to find out.

Candy_bandit · August 2015

Gapeach83 · August 2015

thefithuntress said:
While it's probably likely to be the first guy it is absolutely possible it could be the second. It only takes one sperm. You'll definitely need to wait for the paternity test to find out.

Pull out is definitely not the best method of birth control. Sorry but only a DNA test will tell. I would inform both guys if you haven't already so they both can prepare and let them know about each other. Don't make just one think he is the dad because that can end horrible if you find out he is not. Plus you need to know family history if there is anything you need to know prior to delivery.

logarithm3 · August 2015

I agree with PP, there is always a slight chance it could be the second. Unfortunately you'll have to wait till after baby is here...

sacrazy · August 2015

When I was in my psychology of sexuality class, our professor told us that girl sperm live longer and are slower swimmers than boy sperm, but most of the time sperm can live up to five days, if I remember correctly. It sounds like it's probably the first guy, but I wouldn't rule the second one out until the paternity test is done. I agree with PP about telling both guys, though, if you haven't done so already. You wouldn't want one to think he's the father, and possibly become excited with the idea, and then find out he's not. It could be heartbreaking either way.

Kanne0729 · August 2015

As the pp had mentioned there's probably a higher chance of it being the first guys, but it definitely could be the second guys as well so don't rule him out. You need to tell them both and then wait to find out for sure after the baby is born with a paternity test.

Bettytteb · August 2015

The fact that precum contains sperm is largely a myth. However in rare cases it does (source: https://americanpregnancy.org/getting-pregnant/can-you-get-pregnant-with-precum/). So if he really did totally pull out before ejaculating the chances of it being his are very very small. Not impossible, but the baby is much more likely to be the product of your intercourse with the first guy.

mamavbs · August 2015

I'm not judging your situation whatsoever but there is absolutely NO way anyone or anything can tell you, except for the dna test. As someone else has said, sperm can live for up to a week. Also, it depends on when you ovulated and if both of these men are actually fertile. There are just too many factors for any guesses or opinions. There is just as much chance of it being the second guys.

QueenWaldorf4 · August 2015

I feel like this being your first post in this community and starting with a title "Help! No judgement" is a bait thread or just mud.

Bettytteb · August 2015

mamavbs said:

I'm not judging your situation whatsoever but there is absolutely NO way anyone or anything can tell you, except for the dna test. As someone else has said, sperm can live for up to a week. Also, it depends on when you ovulated and if both of these men are actually fertile. There are just too many factors for any guesses or opinions. There is just as much chance of it being the second guys.

I'm sorry @mamavbs, but it is totally factually inaccurate to say "there is just as much chance of it being the second guys". There is a small chance that a guy who pulls out can still impregnate a woman but it is NOT the same likelihood as when a man ejaculates inside. Yes, there are many other factors to consider (ovulation timing, the men's fertility, etc.) but facts are facts.

mamavbs · August 2015

@Bettytteb Well actually, they can not measure the chance of pre-ejaculate impregnating you as being "very very small".

It's not a great piece of information to spread, really, in case the wrong person reads it. If you have unprotected vaginal sex, you can get pregnant, whether it ends in full ejaculation or not.

She may have completely missed her fertile window with the first man and then had sex with the second and his pre-ejaculate fertilised an egg. There are no facts here at all. OP's information is minimal (ovulation plays such a huge factor in this, a doctors guess here is purely that- an educated guess). So without the facts, as a stranger on the Internet with no medical training and no DNA sample to work with- yes, there is just as much chance of it being the second guy's.

Also- in the article they made a typo with "pre come", which bugs me more than it should!

Help? No judging please

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