Community› The Bump Month Clubs› January 2016 Moms
January 2016 Moms
New Discussion

Another "Is This Tacky" Thread

MyelhsaMyelhsa member
edited August 2015 in January 2016 Moms
My sister has asked to throw my shower with the help of my bridesmaids. I'm thrilled and feel really blessed that everyone was so willing to step up and do this for me.

However, a few days ago my sister told me that she was just "SO EXCITED" because she can get $5 off coupons to BRU, and there'll be enough to put in all the invitations.

Now, I am registering a BRU but I immediately told her I felt it was tacky. I asked my bridesmaids the next day and they all think it's an excellent idea. So finally I went to my mom for back-up to see if she could talk my sister out of it and even SHE thinks it's a good idea.

Am I just being difficult? Is this tacky? How do I really drive it home that I'm not comfortable putting coupons in the invitations?
Report Reply to Post

Re: Another "Is This Tacky" Thread

  • Loading the player...
  • EC2016EC2016 member
    You do mention your registry in the invitation so people know where to go. You don't want them guessing. So if you're registered there it's like an added bonus for your guests. Maybe you're thinking too much into it.
    Report Reply
  • MyelhsaMyelhsa member
    edited August 2015
    I think that's the part I'm torn on. It makes me feel uncomfortable because of how I think people will react to it.

    If I got a coupon it wouldn't bother me, I'd also probably think of it as a nice bonus. But I don't know if others feel the way I would.

    Thank you for all the advice so far, it's been helpful!
    Report Reply
  • MyelhsaMyelhsa member
    RepeatPostPolice said:

    If you're uncomfortable with it, put your foot down.
    Maybe they can tell people as they rsvp they have coupons if the attendee wants and then find a way to get it to them.

    This is a good idea, I wonder if my sister would be up for it. Thanks new kid ;)

    Report Reply
  • apinkpelicanapinkpelican member
    That's a tough one. The invitation isn't coming from you so at least if some people find it tacky they won't think you are the offender.
    But the registry is mentioned in shower invites and a shower is all about gifts. Maybe have it wrapped in another sheet of paper with the registry info rather than just floating inside the main envelop. That way it's not the first thing ppl see.
    Report Reply
  • aphilli8aphilli8 member
    When people ask is it tacky, 9 times out of 10 it is. But this....I don't know? If that's where you're registered I don't think it's tacky, but it's definitely odd.

    I wouldn't judge somebody if I received something like that.
    Report Reply
  • MyelhsaMyelhsa member
    indibidule said:

    I would honestly have to say that I would side eye it for a minute because I've never received anything like that before. But then I would totally use the shit out of that coupon.

    This made me literally lol
    Report Reply
  • mollyj931mollyj931 member
    Myelhsa said:

    indibidule said:

    I would honestly have to say that I would side eye it for a minute because I've never received anything like that before. But then I would totally use the shit out of that coupon.

    This made me literally lol
    Me too. Lol.

    Agreed, I'd probably think hmmm?? but then I'd use it. Reality is if you are going to a shower you are buying a gift. If they buy something at BRU great, $5 off!
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • MyelhsaMyelhsa member
    Maybe I'm just overthinking it, I do like the idea of having it a bit separate. Maybe I can get my sister to do the registry information on like a "Details" card and put the coupon with that.

    Plus then I can keep all the extras, which is pretty exciting.
    Report Reply
  • Leah6120Leah6120 member
    Yeah I gotta be honest I'd 100% use it if I got one. Haha
    Report Reply
  • CaraBoonieCaraBoonie member
    edited August 2015
    Mreh. I always get in fights with people about registry things, I had the same fights on wedding boards 3 years ago, haha.

    I personally believe that while it may be seen as tacky to talk about receiving gifts, it is common knowledge that for things like this it is MORE tacky to NOT bring a gift. Gifts are expected at showers, it's just a fact of life. As a guest, I prefer to have it easy to find the registry and get the item as cheaply as possible, and would rather be directly given this information than have it hidden due to people attempting to not look tacky.

    Long story short, I personally would love to receive a coupon and make it as easy as possible to get you the registry gift I was going to get you anyway for cheaper.

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • SummerOHSummerOH member
    edited August 2015
    I second a cute note attached to the coupon.  I would personally love a coupon and wouldn't think twice about it.  I'd also pass it on to the mom via the baby shower card if I didn't use it.  Some people may think it's tacky, but there's really no pleasing everyone when it comes to showers. I mean, everyone there is going to be close friends and family, so do you really think they'll judge THAT bad?

    DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015


    Report Reply
  • SummerOHSummerOH member
    edited August 2015
    msrere1985 said:
    Mreh. I always get in fights with people about registry things, I had the same fights on wedding boards 3 years ago, haha.

    I personally believe that while it may be seen as tacky to talk about receiving gifts, it is common knowledge that for things like this it is MORE tacky to NOT bring a gift. Gifts are expected at showers, it's just a fact of life. As a guest, I prefer to have it easy to find the registry and get the item as cheaply as possible, and would rather be directly given this information than have it hidden due to people attempting to not look tacky.

    Long story short, I personally would love to receive a coupon and make it as easy as possible to get you the registry gift I was going to get you anyway for cheaper.
    Agree 100% it kills me when people say you're not promised a gift, then don't go if your not going to bring a gift. It's tacky to come and eat and drink for your satisfaction but can't even bring a damn gift.
    I don't 100% agree with this.  I've had friends come to my wedding and showers and not bring gifts.  I knew they were super cash-strapped so I didn't mind at all. I'd have been really offended if they DIDN'T come and share the celebration with me.  It would've reflected poorly on what they thought of me - like they'd have thought I was some materialistic monster who cared more about a gift than my friendship with them.  One of them even won a gift during a game and I didn't think anything of it.  For me it's more about the experience than the gifts, but I must be an oddball.

    DD 12/20/99, DS 12/14/12, M/C 9/2014, M/C 1/2015


    Report Reply
  • sbeara25sbeara25 member
    I think including registry info is a good idea and that is where I would include the coupon. It gives people ideas and a bit of a discount.

    My mum and my aunt were both in favour of it when I asked them. Bit of a discount and they don't have to use it if you don't want to.
    Report Reply
  • UptownPearlUptownPearl member
    SummerOH said:


    msrere1985 said:

    CaraBoonie said:

    Mreh. I always get in fights with people about registry things, I had the same fights on wedding boards 3 years ago, haha.


    I personally believe that while it may be seen as tacky to talk about receiving gifts, it is common knowledge that for things like this it is MORE tacky to NOT bring a gift. Gifts are expected at showers, it's just a fact of life. As a guest, I prefer to have it easy to find the registry and get the item as cheaply as possible, and would rather be directly given this information than have it hidden due to people attempting to not look tacky.

    Long story short, I personally would love to receive a coupon and make it as easy as possible to get you the registry gift I was going to get you anyway for cheaper.
    Agree 100% it kills me when people say you're not promised a gift, then don't go if your not going to bring a gift. It's tacky to come and eat and drink for your satisfaction but can't even bring a damn gift.

    I don't 100% agree with this.  I've had friends come to my wedding and showers and not bring gifts.  I knew they were super cash-strapped so I didn't mind at all. I'd have been really offended if they DIDN'T come and share the celebration with me.  It would've reflected poorly on what they thought of me - like they'd have thought I was some materialistic monster who cared more about a gift than my friendship with them.  One of them even won a gift during a game and I didn't think anything of it.  For me it's more about the experience than the gifts, but I must be an oddball.


    To be fair, a wedding and a party are different types of events than a shower. I don't think going to a celebration empty handed is tacky, but going to a shower empty handed is odd. Not that you are obligated to buy a gift, but I would just feel awkward going to an event where the guest of honor is opening gifts in front of everyone and I didn't bring one. But I also feel that some of my favorite gifts were something thoughtful that wasn't bought: a framed photo, a personal letter, a handmade item, etc. it's the thought that counts for me. But to answer OP's question, I would appreciate the coupon even if I wasn't getting the gift from there. Keep in mind that the invitation is not coming from you directly, but if you're uncomfortable with it you can nix it.

    Report Reply
  • DaphneMoon1DaphneMoon1 member
    I understand where you're coming from and I'd feel the same.

    I'm usually the etiquette police, but I don't think I'd side eye that invitation if I got it. I'd think "score!"
    Report Reply
  • MyelhsaMyelhsa member
    Thanks for all the awesome advice ladies, you guys are awesome! I think I'm gonna go ahead with letting her put the coupons in! :)
    Report Reply
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"