Pregnant without Parents... a support thread

Re: Pregnant without Parents... a support thread

• Nukke member

  August 2015

  Big hugs to you, mamma!  I have no idea what you're going through, but I'm glad you have other sources of support.

  

  
  

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• amorrison624 member

  August 2015

  I have an idea of what you're going through. Both my parents have passed- my dad when I was 22 and my mom when I was 27. My aunt has taken me under her wing and is looking out for me, along with my grandparents, but it's just not the same. I'm incredible sad that my babies won't get to meet their grandparents. They would be amazing with them. I know it's something they were looking forward to. It's tough. Pregnancy has been a distraction, but I'm afraid for what will happen once the babies are here and I'm without the support of my parents, especially my mom.
  Hugs to you @ohsosonic ! You are not alone!!

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• morganabyrd member

  August 2015 edited August 2015

  I lost my mom when I was 8 years old, so very young, but I can relate to the sense of loss. I think that's why it's so important to me personally to have a daughter (eventually) since I missed out on the mother/daughter relationship. I am incredibly close with my stepmom now so I don't have the ache or void that I used to experience but it's still not the same.
  
  My cousins and other kids all called my mom "LeLe" when we were little, so we are using that as her grandma name. I feel like it makes her more real, in a sense, and easier to talk about. Maybe that will help with feeling connected with your dad? I'm sorry you're going through those emotions right now. Like PP said, you're not alone!

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• mollypuss1 member

  August 2015

  My dad passed away 8 years ago. My SO's mother and father both died 23 years ago. I never got the chance to meet them. Thankfully, my mother is still well although she does live 300 miles away so I don't see her as often as I would like. Some days are harder than others. I was a complete and utter daddy's girl and the thought that he will never meet his granddaughter has me in tears. In fact just writing that has me in tears now. I'm making a collage of old family photos of all the grandparents to put in my LO's room so that she will know who they were even if she never got to meet them. I want her to grow up knowing what wonderful people they were and how much they would have loved her. My thoughts are with you and anyone else in a similar situation. You're not alone.

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• carlymarie021 member

  August 2015 edited August 2015

  (Hugging you). I'm wishing u strength. Your precious baby will be here soon. I'm glad you have support from others!

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• alexisg777 member

  August 2015

  My mom hasn't passed but she's also not someone who is in my or my kids lives. So no support there for me.
  My dad is here, doesn't live close, and only see him 2x per year for a few days, so once again, not quite the same situation, but zero support.
  I have my husband and friends for support so I lean on them and that's what makes it work for me.

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• angela_angel member

  August 2015

  My mom had a brain injury in 2005. We found her unconscious on the floor and she was rushed into surgery due to a bleed in her brain. She was in a coma for over a month and when she woke up she had to learn how to walk, talk, feed herself, all over again. But she'll never be the same. She needs help to walk and shower and make meals, so she lives permanently now in an adult group home. She has the mentality of a 12 year old and is constantly messing up her finances. My parents were both severe alcoholics and we don't know how my mom ended up like she did, there was lots of violence in the family home, and at first my dad was being investigated by police as having something to do with it. There was never enough evidence to for sure say he was involved, so they had to drop it, and it bothers me to this day that I'll never know the truth. After what happened to my mom, my dads drinking got worse, he was convicted of a DUI and lost his license and eventually he moved out of province, leaving me to be the sole family support of my now handicapped mom. I also have a younger brother with mental and anger problems who is a whole other issue. I know my parents are still alive, but my whole life has been looking after everyone, from the time I was small, and now I have so much resentment. I just wish I had some support for myself for a change.
  ((Hugs)) to those who have lost their parents, or who are in positions to feel the way that I do.

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• ohsosonic member

  August 2015

  Thank you so much ladies! I feel a lot better today after just letting it out. I've read your stories and feel for all of you dealing with these not so pleasant feelings.. I'm glad I started this thread so we can all be there for each other. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend

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• ohsosonic member

  August 2015

  I can commiserate on the feelings of resentment and taking care of your parents. We've had vaguely similar experiences. I started seeing a cognitive behavioral specialist a year ago to learn some techniques of dealing with the resentment - helps a lot. Not sure which province you are in... I'm in Ontario and with the lengthy waiting lists for therapy I opted to pay out of pocket. It may be better where you live however. You definitely need support for yourself... I let myself get pretty depressed before I started taking that seriously and I hope you do not do that!! Feel free to msg me if you need some self support ideas. Big hugs

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• abkenyon member

  August 2015

  My dad was killed 9 years ago when I was 22 and just 4 months from walking down the aisle. It was a freak boating accident so there was no time to prepare and it has been hard to accept at times. I am now pregnant with his first grandchild and when I think about it or am reminded of it I get really upset. The thought hurts so bad because my daughter will never get to meet her grandfather who was such a wonderful father to me. I think about what it would be like for her if he were still alive and it just makes me so sad that she was cheated of that. I wouldn't wish losing a parent on my worst enemy as it is something you never heal from.

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• BlueTopazBride member

  August 2015

  Hugs for everyone on this thread. There are many reasons why some of us are going through this without the parental support we wish could have had. No matter the circumstances, it can be a heart breaking experience. I wish nothing but strength and love from the families and friends we all have around us. Blessings to all of you.

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• kiggitykelley member

  August 2015

  I lost my mom when I was 16 and my dad 3 years ago, My husband lost his mom 5 years ago and his dad could care less about this baby, he cares more about golfing in Hawaii more than us...but anyway.  I have no support system and my husband and I are doing this on our own.  I am 38 and he is 37 and I dont know how were going to swing this...but we will get there.  Every day I think how thrilled my mom would be to have another grandchild.  Good luck mammas
  

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