Just need some positive vibes..how do you get out of the funk?

lovelifewife · July 2015

I know everyone is dealing with their own emotions here. I feel like I've wasted 2 years TTC w my doc telling me everything was fine and it would happen, and now waiting 2 more weeks to see RE (who o should've gone to a year ago, but OB/GYN and a second opinion I got both said it wasn't necessary). I cannot get out of this sadness/anger cycle because I just feel I blindly followed the 2 Drs I was seeing and I'm such a hopeful person I just felt Id get pregnant and now I'm in the end of my cycle feeling the dreaded period looming. On top of that I just found out that no treatments of any kind for infertility are covered by my insurance or my husbands, so the prospect of treatments now becomes very hard to swallow- will I even be able to do anything?. I just want to stop crying each night. I'm sorry I hope this post doesn't offend, I just need some advice on how to deal. Do I demand bloodwork now to have before seeing RE? When does that need to be done? Do I just distract myself? No one knows what I'm dealing with in my everyday life.

Drove2u · July 2015

Awww I'm so sorry. Yes you will need bloodwork done and a hsg. I'm sure your RE will order that for you. There is still hope. We found out just yesterday that two girls on these boards are pregnant now through fertility treatments. So it is possible. We tried for 14 months and this month I went to see an re. I got my IUI done two days ago and now have two weeks to wait to see if it worked. Good luck and I'm sure it'll all work out.

lovelifewife · July 2015

Thank you! I had HSG and ultrasound- both were "normal", and I've done 5 months of clomid w my OB/GYN. Thank you for the kind words and I'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

Drove2u · July 2015

Well that's half the battle. I think you're only allowed to be on clomid six times and you should be monitored during it too. Did your obgyn monitor you each month? If not that's really not good. My obgyn prescribed me clomid too with a refill and I refused to take it unless I was going through an re and was being monitored. Hopefully your obgyn did that though.

bookworm40 · July 2015

You certainly aren't alone in how you feel and you have every right to feel the way you do. Your on the right path now and that's what you should focus on. My the RE will order more blood work and most likely a SA for your DH if he hasn't already had one. The waiting is the worst. Whether it's for a RE appt or the TWW. It's never easy but just know your not alone.

riveridgional · July 2015

I can certainly understand your frustration. I think to get out of the funk, try your best to focus on the new, productive step you'll be taking with your RE. As much as we sometimes wish we could change the past, unfortunately there is nothing we can do but move forward. I'd recommend giving yourself one hour, night or day and tell yourself you are only giving yourself that long to vent and be pissed about the delay. Pick your poison, indulge and let it out. (That's what I do on months I'm really feeling down about results and it helps me).

You are going to feel so much better now that you are seeing an RE. You will know much more about the processes and how your body is responding. I think it's quite fascinating and it really helps me to keep my expectations in check. My insurance doesn't cover infertility either and I'm not going to sugarcoat it - it sucks! Hopefully you will have a trustful RE who won't waste your time and money. A lot of clinics will let you sit down with a financial person which will hopefully make you feel better. I've been pleasantly surprised by the costs so far but I'm taking a month off (need the emotional break) before moving on to a more expensive option. It can suck to feel your family dreams are limited by finances. But, on the positive side (it takes some real straining here), it can provide some closure and courage to explore other options of building your family like adoption.

I wish you the best of luck and hope your appointment with your RE goes well. I wouldn't worry about getting any bloodwork or tests done before seeing the RE unless his office recommends it. It's likely he will retest whatever himself, so there's no need to waste money getting it done in advance.

lovelifewife · July 2015

Thank you- yes DH had SA (and was "normal"), I was not monitored through the clomid use which is another reason I feel kind of mislead. I think I'll find another OB in addition to the RE bc I definitely don't think I was given enough consideration. I am refusing to take the 6th dose bc I had symptoms of mild hyper stimulation last month (which I saw my PCP for bc my OB GYN is so hard to get in to see). I feel like I'm doing this all wrong- thanks for the advice ladies!

Drove2u · July 2015

You're not doing anything wrong. Just make sure you tell your re you took clomid 5 times already. Honestly these boards have helped me out so much. I posted that my obgyn gave me clomid and everyone told me not to take it unless it's through an re. We're not doctors or experts but it's good to get advice and see other people's experiences. It's very helpful. So stick around and ask questions and keep us updated. Everything will work out. :-)

lovelifewife · July 2015

Thank you drove2u. I appreciate all the input I can get. Good luck to you!

Emily4554 · July 2015

I think you are exactly where every single one of us have been at one point. We feel alone, helpless, sad, angry...angry with our bodies, angry with our Dr's. But just like every one of us you are not alone, we are in it with you. All of us have a story and all of us are working towards starting or expanding our family, I myself have been TTC for 4 years, did a bunch of different treatments, went through some loss and some sadness but I have faith that I'm in the best possible hands.
Don't be overwhelmed by the $$$ I know it seems like it's so much and it's too hard and you have no idea how you are going to make it happen, my husband and I felt the same way but we found a way to make it work.
The most important thing to know is the way you feel is totally normal, don't worry about getting out of a "funk" it's ok to take some time to be sad or upset just continue to move forward. And remembering the feelings you have right now will motivate you even more to continue with treatment when it's hard. The most important thing to remember is you are NEVER alone!

AMT&THC · July 2015

So much good advice in this post...I need it too today so I'm glad you asked. I think everyone here has gone through the highs and lows. I am with you on a low right now. My #5 IUI was a failure. I am going to do what several said here - give myself a little time to be upset and then focus on the forward motion of the process. I have another appointment tomorrow to get back on the roller coaster and like each time before, I am just going to hope for the best and try to prepare for the worst (even though I am pretty bad at that part). I have TTC for 4 years too. We have 6 IUIs covered by insurance but not IVF. So, I have to look at my finances too. That will probably take a month or 2 to organize which means a break from this whole thing after August. That will make me feel like I am getting behind, but it's unavoidable so I can be sad about it or I can decide to be happy that there is an avenue for me to take....not all doors are closed. Anyway, I am so sorry. I hope you can start to feel more hopeful. I hate to say that I am happy that others feel like I do because it isn't something I would want to wish on others, but I do appreciate seeing that I am not alone. I'm thinking about you today!

lovelifewife · July 2015

Thank you ladies so much- you hit the nail on the head- I was feeling alone in this. I really appreciate the time you all took to respond and I've dressed myself up today (after a few hrs of feeling crummy for myself), ready to take on a new day (although the day is half over- glad I was off today- I think I'll go do some window shopping to get out). I definitely think the RE is going to give me some peace of mind. Wishing you all the best in your journeys.

MKLEWIS2010 · July 2015

Hi I agree with the pp's everything they said is spot on. I know you wish you could change the past but hindsight is always 20/20. My DH and I wasted about 3 years before we saw an RE also. I just always say maybe the time wasn't right yet. Did you research the RE you choose? You can look up their stats on the resolve website. Did your current OB recommend them? Maybe you can ask you RE for a recommendation for an OB. Good luck! Something I do recommend for this roller coaster ride is finding something that helps you relax whether it's exercise, yoga, reading, knitting anything to help you relax.

AMT&THC · July 2015

@lovelifewife I am going to get dressed up too....I need some bright lipstick. haha! And definitely in for the shopping as well :-) I got a Target gift certificate for my birthday so today's the day that sucker is getting spent. Let's both not feel alone!

lovelifewife · July 2015

@AMT&THC , sounds great! I'll virtually shop with you!
@MKLEWIS2010 thanks for the tip. I went for a run last night which normally is a stress reliever to me but I just couldn't stop being angry -- today, maybe I'll try yoga, or run farther!

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Just need some positive vibes..how do you get out of the funk?

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