Pacifiers

mamaksweez · July 2015

I posted this on the two under two board and only got 1 response, but since someone brought up pacifiers in today's UO board I thought I'd see what you all thought.

My 14month old dd is super attached to her pacifier, she only gets it in the car seat and crib, but if it falls out while she's in her crib she screams for it. I'm wondering if I should wean her off of it before baby gets here. How old were your kiddos when you stopped giving a pacifier? How did you do it? Did you wean, replace it with a lovey (teddy/blanket), or just go cold turkey?

Thanks so much for any input!!

sherks11 · July 2015

Following. Dd only uses it for naps and at night. I don't think that's a terrible thing but day care would rather she didn't have it.

katymae08 · July 2015

We only had ours at night until she was almost three. One night she wanted to sleep in our bed and DH said, "Our bed is a no binky bed. If you sleep with mommy and daddy then there's no binky. If you sleep in your room you can have it." She went without and we stuck it out from there.

In the three years we went from all the time to randomly taking it throughout the day. Not letting her speak with it in her mouth. Then we went to only in the car and when sleeping. We took it out of the car routine next. Then we went to only bed time.

tjlfy6 · July 2015

When my dd turned two, we cut it cold turkey. We had weaned her down to naps, car, and bed time. The first night was rough but the next night she was content with just her blanket.

62406 · July 2015

DD was about 16 months when she stopped using one. She was staying at my parents for a few days and my mom didn't even offer it to her and she didn't seem to mind. When she got home we had hidden them all and it wasn't an issue and she didn't seem to remember that she used one. I know that this isn't a normal situation but we were fortunate that she didn't fight it, it's a hard habit to break.
I've heard of other people snipping off a little bit every few days until there is no "suck" left and they lose interest.

jeanbug12 · July 2015

DS loved his paci, I weaned him around 15 months with no issues, he was really only using them at night at that point. Then when he was 19 months DD was born so we had them around the house again and he would pick them up, steal them from DD, get them out of the diaper bag...it really drove me nuts! Luckily, DD didn't really care for them so we got them out of the house pretty quickly, but DS was harder to wean the second time! In hindsight, I maybe would have just let him keep it those few months and worked on weaning him after everything settled with the new baby around.

katymae08 · July 2015

Oh! I've heard of putting a hole in it and when they suck it flat then they lose interest. Totally forgot about that one.

Calebsmom0318 · July 2015

My son loved them, hole or not! lol that didn't work. We weaned him off around 2ish and it was fairly easy. Until he got to daycare and all his little buddies still had theirs for nap times. Pacis and bottles seem to be cultural thing down here in Miami and I see kids as old as 5 with them. I think it's a little crazy. He reverted back then but only for sleep and the car. When my niece was born we "sent" all the pacis to her because she was a baby and needed them and he actually was okay with it. This was a tough one for us for awhile though. Good luck!

Emott13 · July 2015

My cousins had great success with their twins by making a big ceremony of it on their second birthday. In the months/days/weeks leading up to bday, they continually said things like "x number of days until no more pacifier!" "Two years means you're not babies anymore and big boys don't use pacifiers!" On the actual birthday they had friends and family over and made a huge bonfire. There was a ceremonious throwing of all pacifiers into the flames and cheers/congratulations on "growing up". The boys felt such a sense of accomplishment and belonging now with the "big kids" they never asked for them again.

Related, a parenting book that I have has an entire chapter on how you shouldn't ever spring things on kids with no warning. Everything deserves a cooling/weaning period. Even applies to leaving stores, etc (5-4-3-2-1 minutes and then we're going!) the best way to get them to cooperate is to help them to plan and feel in control. Stealing or hiding all of their soothers could backfire into either an even less desirable soothing method or just fits of rage.

mamaksweez · July 2015

I am loving all the input and advice! Thank you so much!! We were going to do it at 1, but she just wasn't ready yet, and I wasn't ready either. I think these are some really good ideas!

OrangeFox · July 2015

My son is just a few months past two. He's only allowed the pacifier at nap and night. 99% percent of the time he will set the binky down on the dresser right next to his crib when we get him out. DH and I have decided that will wean him off the pacifier completely as soon as we potty train. I'm planning on doing that in September when I have some free time.

Chelsey092 · July 2015

My DS was already 3 when I decided it was time to be done with it. He was addicted to his too. At that time he was only getting it during a nap and bedtime. We took it away cold turkey and I was shocked to find out he was completely fine with that. We told him the pacifier fairy would pick it up and bring it to a baby who needed it. I know kinda cheesy but it worked.

daninikicoli · July 2015

My son is 2.5 and I'll probably take it away sometime soon. He only gets it for naps and night time now... Maybe if I'm running an errand and I need him to be quiet. I love that thing, it's like a mute button lol. It's time though, so we'll probably do the ceremony thing... Tie binkie to a balloon and say goodbye. I just want him over the binkie by the time this baby comes.

MommyAlexia · July 2015

Following this thread as well. Gearing up to fully weaning from the pacifier for my 21 month old. We have it down to sleep time only, but he's still very attached!

Paige6410 · July 2015

DS1 got his taken around 3. It was when I got pregnant with DS2 that we told him they were just for babies and big brothers didn't need them. It took a few days, but was easier than I thought. He used them only for naps and bedtime. DS2 stopped taking it at about 5 months old and I wish he would have kept it a little longer, because I became his living pacifier.

SamJoR · July 2015

We went to naps only at 11-12 months. Shortly after he turned one he was napping at my parents and my sister forgot to give it to him. He went to sleep with no problems. I never offered it again. I kept one in this bag for the next 6 mo probably just in case, there were times it would have been nice to give it to him but I told myself I had to stay strong. I think it was just as much weaning myself as him.

jordans_wife · July 2015

I can't remember when we weaned our boys from them. I'm thinking shortly after they turned 1? I like cold turkey myself. You rip it off like a bandaid and it's done in a couple days. Mine were also down to having them at naps only though. I've heard from multiple people that cutting the tips off of then and saying sorry they're broken worked good tho.

SummerOH · July 2015

I don't see the point of getting rid of it if it's limited use. DS took one at night and naps until he stopped on his own around 16 months or so. Unless they're 3 walking around all day with it, it's no big deal.

TVL25 · July 2015

My oldest insisted on having his until he was 2. He didn't use it all the time which is how I could tell it was more of a comfort thing for him. When he was extremely upset, it was the only thing to calm him down and then he'd spit it out.

My second is almost 3.5 and he STILL uses the damn thing. Now I was pretty adamant about getting rid of it before our third came even though he was going to only be a year, but once baby got here...I wasn't up for the fight. we did cut it down to only at bedtime and he did great leaving it every morning. When he started giving me issues with leaving it in his bed, I noticed he was acting the same way my oldest did. he NEEDED it to calm down and he would spit it out after. I expressed my concern to our pedi and he said he wasn't hurting anything and that those teeth will fall out if that was our largest concern. A couple days after, I read an article (huffington post maybe?) a mother had wrote why she will not defend why her child has a pacifier. It basically talked about the comfort aspect and the fact that we shouldn't force our kids to give up things that comfort them. At such young ages, they don't know how to cope and by taking their mechanisms (whatever it may be) away, its teaching them that they cant depend on things or have a "safe place". I'm not saying I agree with her entire article, but parts made sense to me and it made me more comfortable with him having it. Clearly he doesn't have it in when were running errands or at the park but if he needs it to calm down or for bed, whatever-it's usually spit out anyway. He's finally starting to understand he's a big boy and that he no longer needs a paci. He has other ways to "cope". If he HAD to have it every waking second, I'd probably have a bigger issue.

My third has never been interested in it. On the rare occasion when he was teething, he'd chew on it (not suck) for relief.

I'm not against a pacifier but I think every child is different. If it works for you and them, great. if not, great. If you use it just to "shut them up", then I think you'd be the one with issues, not them

kemerson531 · July 2015

Pacifiers are not allowed at the preschool I work at (mostly for sanitation issues, kids sharing them, etc) so some of my preschool families have tried out the "Paci Fairy" when their 2.5 yr olds enter our program. From what I understand, it's basically like the tooth fairy, and in exchange for all of your pacifiers the child receives a special "big kid" reward. Could be a special toy, doll, lovey blanket... Seems like it works out pretty well because we never have kids upset looking for a pacifier at school.

MamaGooGoo · July 2015

My dd is 19 months and only uses her paci for sleeping and in the car. I wanted to start weaning her off and asked our pediatrician's advice. She asked me why I wanted to wean her off. I didn't really have answer except that I didn't want her to be so attached that she ends up 3, 4, or 5 years old and still uses it. Her advice was, with another little one on the way, keep it. Baby will likely use one and it'll just remind dd and make her revert. I don't want that added stress during the newborn days. She also said that once we do decide to get rid of it, that it's best to do it cold turkey... No cutting off tips and such. We'll see what works. You said your kid uses one at night and screams when it gets lost? We put like 3-4 pacis in the crib so she can search and find one. We never have to go in there to replace it for her.

mamaksweez · July 2015

You guys are great. I'm getting tons of awesome advice. We have a few hour car ride tonight, so I think I'll discuss some of these with my husband. Thanks SO much!!

alandaim · August 2015

We stopped at 6 months with my DD but she wasn't super attached. I am not an expert but I think the main reason for the 6 month recommendation is after that it can effect oral development which can effect dental structure and speech. Like you said if they aren't using it all the time that is good, but nighttime use is usually 8-9 hours at a time. In my child development class in school (speech pathologist) they scared us from using them, most of my classmates never used them with their children, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do to save sanity to a certain point

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mrussello · August 2015

I weaned DD at 18 months. It was a struggle but I was glad I did. The following week, she was pushed into a table during a play date and had a tooth injury. She wasn't allowed to have it then anyway. She never asked for it after, so I knew she was ready to let it go.

kfreeman2008 · August 2015

Just a cute thing that one of our friends daughters did for us.

She was going to kindergarten in the fall and wanted to get rid of it by the end of the summer. She knew we had our son that was 8ish months old at the time and decided to pass them onto him. We did this cute little ceremony (at her request...bc all of it was her idea). Once she passed it on, we took pics and then gave them to her mom the next day.

I have zero issues with the paci in general. Our son has zero interest in it after about a year old son the transition just happened. Maybe you can have your daughter "gift" hers to the new baby? It was incredibly sweet and would be what I would do if my son still used his!

jezygal · August 2015

We only gave baby paci in the car seat and bed after about 9 months, then we took it away at 12 months and replaced it with a musical giraffe stuffed animal. It was hard for about 3 nights, but she didn't wake up in the night because she lost her paci anymore so it was worth it.

Pacifiers

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