Girl Friends

shortiebs · July 2015

ladies, i have absolutely no close girlfriends to share my pregnancy excitement, fears and frustrations with. I have a few associates but mainly for cocktails or bars or clubs. But now that im pregnant i cant connect like that anymore. I dont have anyone to just chat with or vent to. I see alot of women on social media taking selfies and vacations and baby showers with lots of female friends.
Ive never been social and only yearn for more female friends when i see other women together.
Any other ladies going through this as well?

modanz1 · July 2015

I wouldn't say that I don't have any, but I only have a handful of close female friends. I am really bad at being fake, so many women come in to my life and then right back out because they aren't interested in my honesty (and by honesty I mean bitchiness). The good part about that is the ones I do have I know are legit. We have been friends forever and I trust them completely. The friends that you bond with over cocktails and partying will probably not last you a lifetime because as your priorities change, they will slowly fade away (unless of course their's change in the same direction as yours)....that's what you are experiencing now. I am assuming you are fairly young? The best advice I can give you is to be your truest you and the right people will find their way to you. The last thing you want is a bunch of fake friends just for the sake of having them. Good luck!

makeoutside7 · July 2015

Well you know that saying "a friend to all, is a friend to none". I don't have a ton of gfs but like the pp, I have a close circle and that's all you really need. Quality not quantity friends. I also have four sisters. One of my sisters is pregnant and one of my best friends is pregnant but she lives in Japan. I think with being pregnant it's important to have a emotional support system. I'm alone most days but keep constant contact with my sisters and friends. All you really need is one! Hang in there.

VexedMommy · July 2015

I'm in a similar boat as you, minus the cocktail hour pals. There are a couple of couples that my bf and I hang out with, but I'm not close to any of them really. Most of my life revolves around work and my kids.

thefithuntress · July 2015

Ditto. I have a couple friends but none of them live nearby. I hang out with my co-workers at work and my husband every weekend. Sometimes it bums me out but that's when I turn to creative projects and things I'm passionate to cheer myself up. Do you have hobbies that you can do alone? I love photography, writing, reading, cooking/baking, exercising, and painting/drawing. Maybe you can do a project for yourself that makes you feel good.

As far as social media goes I try not to worry too much about what I "see." It's a completely curated image. Sure, you may spot a cute picture of girls laughing on Facebook but there's always more to relationships than that.

lakesideknitter · July 2015

It's there a moms group in your area? That might be a good place to start? I had a really hard time connecting with most women until after college. I have been very fortunate to find some close friends since then, but have met them mostly through work.

shortiebs · July 2015

Im 26 so not sure if that is young lol. But most the girls i know are around my age but not really on the same page. Single or new relationships. Im more career focused they arent. Looks like you may have a point

shortiebs · July 2015

anikajoy said:
It's there a moms group in your area? That might be a good place to start? I had a really hard time connecting with most women until after college. I have been very fortunate to find some close friends since then, but have met them mostly through work.

Looks like work pals are common. I work with all men.

modanz1 · July 2015

shortiebs said:

Im 26 so not sure if that is young lol. But most the girls i know are around my age but not really on the same page. Single or new relationships. Im more career focused they arent. Looks like you may have a point

26 is kind of young, yea.

Only because you are in the stage where many of your friends haven't gotten married or started families yet, so they will be more focused on having a good time and you will be focused on being a mom. They will catch up to you though!

Peanut1128 · July 2015

I feel your pain, I moved to a new area about 3 years ago and all my coworkers were men. 3 years later, I'm good friends with a few of their wives and made a few friends through that group. Try a moms group upon your area or junior league if you have free time. It's tough putting yourself out there but I think you will find lots of other women who are looking for real friends.

kesmeredith · July 2015

I can see why you would want some more girlfriends at this point in your life! I am around the same age and PP are correct, a lot of people are in transitional stages in their life. Not yet married or having babies but not single or single and more career oriented. I have been lucky to make some great girlfriends a long the way but it is still hard to keep in touch with all of us having such busy/different lives! Once you have the baby maybe you could join a local mommy group and connect with women that way! I know many of them are SAHM networks (which may be hard for you to relate) but others do have women who work as well and meet on nights and weekends for fun outings. Also love PP about finding a hobby that fills you up!

brownloveone · July 2015

I have one friend and some ex coworkers that are kinda close but we hardly see each other since we live far from one another . I grew up with 3 brothers and no sisters so I never really made a lot of friends and like another poster said I'm too honest and most girls don't like that. I don't think you should worry too much. I started making some friends when my kids started sports and stuff. I didn't really make an effort to keep those relationships with those moms too long, but I'm sure you'll find someone to bond with when you put yourself out there.

kmd91 · July 2015

I'm right there with you. I honestly have no girl friends here after moving to a new area. I don't work so I don't really have the benefit of making potential friends there. I don't really have any advice. Just here to say you're not alone in it.

shortiebs · July 2015

kmd91 said:
I'm right there with you. I honestly have no girl friends here after moving to a new area. I don't work so I don't really have the benefit of making potential friends there. I don't really have any advice. Just here to say you're not alone in it.

Good to know im not a weirdo

shortiebs · July 2015

Thanks for the advice everyone!

FilbertTree · July 2015

Yeh, welcome the good ship No-Mates, I'll be your captain for this journey... My two best friends live hours away (the closest is a 5 hour drive, the other is back home in England). They're both there when I need them through text or skype, but its not the same. I decided that if I'm going to be a sahm for a while, Im going to need more human interaction. Today I found my local La Leche League through Facebook and joined their group, and immediately discovered a moms group in the area for sahms. I'm trying to find baby wearing groups too, so I have people nearby who share interests and support. This is one of those times to embrace thesocial part of social media and use it to track down and meet people IRL.

flas · July 2015

I have no female friends whatsoever. I have my sister and my sister in law and that's it so I can understand where you're coming from.

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