Gender Reveal

ehmcdowe · July 2015

my SO revealed the sex of our child to me today (we're having a boy) and I was so devastated that we aren't having a girl, pissed off even. is it normal to feel this way?

Xstatic3333 · July 2015

ehmcdowe said:
my SO revealed the sex of our child to me today (we're having a boy) and I was so devastated that we aren't having a girl, pissed off even. is it normal to feel this way?

I'm not a parent yet, but your reaction sounds very, very extreme. Provided your son is healthy I would reframe your mindset, stat. If you really can't move past it talk to somebody. Devastated is way to strong for this.

Snoflakes4eva · July 2015

ehmcdowe said:

my SO revealed the sex of our child to me today (we're having a boy) and I was so devastated that we aren't having a girl, pissed off even. is it normal to feel this way?

No, its not normal to feel that way. Why do you care the sex of your child? I can understanding being a little bit disappointed but not pissed off or devastated. I really hope you change your attitude before your son gets here.

jnnfrrose6 · July 2015

Disappointed? Sure, it happens, especially if you've always imagined something else, but devastated? Sounds a bit extreme.

amberrmariee20 · July 2015

It is normal to be disappointed... But pissed off seems a bit extreme... Hopefully you'll come around and learn to not be pissed off that he's a boy.

lalala2004 · July 2015

ehmcdowe said:
my SO revealed the sex of our child to me today (we're having a boy) and I was so devastated that we aren't having a girl, pissed off even. is it normal to feel this way?

I want you to imagine that some day, your son is able to read what you just wrote. How would that make him feel?

I hope for his sake that he never knows you felt this way about him.

Many people who post on this board are longing to have a baby of any sex, and you are complaining about having one that isn't your preferred sex.

You need to do a bit of an attitude check.

RiverSong15 · July 2015

ehmcdowe said:
my SO revealed the sex of our child to me today (we're having a boy) and I was so devastated that we aren't having a girl, pissed off even. is it normal to feel this way?

No, it is not normal to be "devastated" and "pissed off" that you are having one sex over another. Imagine how your child will feel if he ever finds out how much you didn't want him because he is a boy! If you can't get past this feeling, you should seek out some counseling to figure out why you feel this way and how to accept your child for who he is.

I will never understand why people who have THAT strong of a preference for one sex over another choose to TTC. It's a 50:50 shot no matter what, and everyone should be using BC (or choosing adoption!) if they can't handle that reality. I'm seriously disgusted right now, and my heart hurts for your innocent baby boy.

YouHadMeAtMeatTornado · July 2015

lalala2004 said:

my SO revealed the sex of our child to me today (we're having a boy) and I was so devastated that we aren't having a girl, pissed off even. is it normal to feel this way?
I want you to imagine that some day, your son is able to read what you just wrote. How would that make him feel? I hope for his sake that he never knows you felt this way about him. Many people who post on this board are longing to have a baby of any sex, and you are complaining about having one that isn't your preferred sex. You need to do a bit of an attitude check.

nlwz123 · July 2015

ehmcdowe said:

my SO revealed the sex of our child to me today (we're having a boy) and I was so devastated that we aren't having a girl, pissed off even. is it normal to feel this way?

Dude, what's even wrong with having a boy? Little boys are great!

Oh, I'm sorry you were recently told you are having a healthy baby. That sure is devastating. Count your blessings.

eliztheforrizz · July 2015

No it's not. Plain and simple.

kerismatic · July 2015

I am disgusted and to use your words, pissed off, that you could be so ignorant.

PrimRoseMama · July 2015

In my experience & observation: the extreme nature of your negative feelings seems abnormal. I think you should consult a therapist before your son is born. Wishing you the best.

Dubs5253 · July 2015

No. It's not normal.

I am pissed off that I am not pregnant when I want to be. THAT is normal.

YouHadMeAtMeatTornado · July 2015

keri0517 said:

I am disgusted and to use your words, pissed off, that you could be so ignorant.

autumn250907 · July 2015

I think the replies to your post are unnecessarily harsh. I guess they couldn't pass up the chance to use their super cool gifs. I think once some time has passed and you look back at your reaction you will feel sad, or maybe a little ashamed--but that's ok. Sometimes it's hard to imagine something any other way than what you had pictured in your mind and simply need a little bit more time to process the change.

whenwillieversleep · August 2015

When I was pregnant with my first baby, my husband wanted a son. I preferred a boy too, or at least that's what I thought at that point in my life. We had an ultrasound at 15 weeks and they told us they thought it was a boy. I had my anatomy scan at 20 weeks and they said congrats it's actually a baby girl! Even though I preferred a boy, I was excited for a healthy baby girl and no longer had a preference at that point because I got caught up in picking a name for her and embracing the baby i was carrying. My husband however had tears in his eyes and got upset. It was embarrassing to me that his face showed disappointment. We love her so much we remind each other how we used to want a boy and can't believe it bc she's so precious to us. Now I want all girls in the future!

GingerTurtles · August 2015

autumn250907 said:

I think the replies to your post are unnecessarily harsh. I guess they couldn't pass up the chance to use their super cool gifs. I think once some time has passed and you look back at your reaction you will feel sad, or maybe a little ashamed--but that's ok. Sometimes it's hard to imagine something any other way than what you had pictured in your mind and simply need a little bit more time to process the change.

Dude, no. The reactions aren't harsh enough. OP IS PISSED OFF THAT SHE'S HAVING A HEALTHY BABY BOY. My second baby boy? Is dead. OP needs an attitude adjustment. STAT.

Mlight28 · August 2015

I, like many posters, would be over the moon to just have a baby to love. If you are so pissed off, please give him to one of us. Thanks.
/rant

vampbride99 · August 2015

Now, I don't have any children of my own yet....but I can understand feeling a bit disappointed. I myself REALLY want a girl....BUT....when that day comes, and they tell me that I'm having a boy.....I might feel just a touch disappointed, but there's no way in the world I'd feel devastated or "pissed off" that I'd be having a son.....want to know why? Because as long as my child is HEALTHY....I don't care what gender they are. I'd be so consumed with happiness because THAT particular child is MINE....my son...my daughter...WHOEVER they turn out to be....as long as they are healthy.....what is there to be devastated about?

I mean you do realize you only had a 50/50 shot of the child being a girl right? I'm sorry if this sounds mean, but if you are truly THAT upset, then perhaps you should reevaluate how ready you are to be a parent. Maybe you should talk to someone because those emotions are not normal.

mscrane09 · August 2015

I've read plenty of articles on gender disappointment, and honestly, what you're feeling IS pretty normal. To an extent. Plenty of people are upset when they learn they are getting the opposite gender of what they'd been picturing for their family.
When you're so excited to have something a certain way, of course you will feel upset at the loss of that vision.
From what I have read, what you need to do is just allow yourself to grieve the loss of the picture you had planned for your family.
Additionally, it's not like you said you don't want the kid now, and are no longer excited to be HAVING a child, so I feel the pps mostly were overly harsh as well.
On the flip side to that statement, if you ARE feeling such extreme emotions of anger and disappointment that you're no longer looking forward to having your LO, don't want it anymore, or feel that you no longer love your baby, I would recommend you speak with a therapist so that they may help you figure out where the extreme negativity is coming from, and how to fix it.
Best of luck, and congratulations on your wonderful bundle of joy!

nerdymama15 · August 2015

While it is probably not normal, I do think that there are others out there that have probably felt the same way. In fact I personally know of one other. I have a family member who is spoiled rotten and is used to getting her way no matter what the situation. She wanted a girl and was told she was having a boy and she yelled at the doctor that she did not want a stupid boy.
I think it could just be your hormones intensifying your disappointment. I mean if you had your hopes up and they were shot down then you have pregnancy hormones on top of that intensifying that feeling. In my family member's case she eventually calmed down and she loves that little boy so very much.
In my personal case, whenever I end up getting pregnant again I would prefer a boy, but if I get a girl then I will love it and want it just the same.

MrsFL2015 · August 2015

I can see being a little disappointed, but pissed off seems extreme. A baby of any kind is worthy of being excited and happy about, especially if you're having a healthy and normal pregnancy. I'm not sure if you're religious or at least believe in fate, but I believe that we all have a destiny and certain things in life are just meant to be. You're meant to be the mother of a little boy. You should be focusing on all the joy this little baby boy will bring to you life. You're ruining an exciting time in your pregnancy by walking around pissed off and upset.

go_habs_go · August 2015

I felt the exact same way for my DS!!! We already had a girl and I was SO VERY convinced it was a girl that I cried in my ultrasound because I was pissed and I was not excited. It took a while but he was healthy and I needed to focus on that and so I did. I feel for you

patriciahomol · August 2015

*****************trigger ds mentioned********************

************

When I was pregnant with ds before I found out the gender I wanted a girl. The second I found out I was having a boy I was elated. Being pissed off is not okay. Think of all the moms on these boards who have been trying so hard just to have one. Also I don't know if this was the right choice of board. You don't have babies on the brain when you are already pregnant with one....:-S

cjt121413 · August 2015

I get being a bit disappointed, but I think your response sounds extreme.

******possible trigger previous pregnancy and child mentioned*******

When I was pregnant with DS I really hoped for a girl. When I found out he was a boy I was a touch disappointed. ....but I quickly got over it. The moment I meant him I fell in love and have never ever for a minute wished he was anything different than what he is. Little boys are AWESOME. I bet you'll adjust and fall in love with your baby boy. If you think you'll never move past being pissed he's not a girl, I'd suggest considering therapy.

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