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December 2015 Moms
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Grandparents rights?

rachellynne27rachellynne27 member
in December 2015 Moms
My mother and I have a very strained relationship. It started years ago when I moved away. Days after giving birth to my daughter she threatened me with "grandparents rights". I live in a different state then her and it has been two years, we have not allowed her meet our daughter. She is once again threatening legal action but from what I have read she does not have a case as my husband and I are still married, still living, fit parents and she does not have a relationship with our child. Does she have a case?



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Re: Grandparents rights?

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  • cedixon2cedixon2 member
    That sucks, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. My mother and I have a similar situation... Except I went to the extreme length and told her not to call me anymore after she would contact me to yell at me for forgetting whatever holiday I didn't get her something for. I just couldn't handle that with being a new parent with not a lot of money. You just have to do what is necessary to make peace in your life sometimes.
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  • ash413ash413 member
    Grandparents have no legal rights. She would have to prove both you and your husband are unfit and then be awarded guardianship.
            
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  • taysuntaysun member
    For your peace of mind you might want to contact a lawyer, but if you are a fit parent I don't think she has any legal right.
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  • baby+mumbaby+mum member
    Grandparents CAN fight for rights if they can prove that the child would be worse off without them or you are coming between an established, healthy, loving relationship. If grandma picked your child up everyday after school, babysat almost every weekend, etc. - she would have a case that you are disrupting a loving relationship & your child is used to having her around.
    That being said: your mother has NO case.
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  • redfallonredfallon member
    kristen2b said is how I read it, too.




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  • MrsBwIVFMrsBwIVF member
    I agree with all of the PPs. Also, remember that she pulled this with your daughter 2 years ago and, unless I missed something, she has yet to seek legal action against you. Sounds like she is just trying to huff and puff to blow you over to her thinking.
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  • yl1m32015yl1m32015 member
    It depends on your state laws. In my state, grandparents have zero rights. The only way they can file for visitation is if you are unfit.
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  • KatherineAimeeKatherineAimee member
    California does not adhere to Grandparents rights unless both the mother and father are incapable of taking care of the child. 
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  • Beckah31Beckah31 member
    Ugh! She sounds like a piece of work- sorry you have to face it. Have you considered cutting her off completely? At least maybe for the duration of your pregnancy so you're not dealing with the added stress?
    I'm not really a "cut ties" kind of person, but no mother should put ER daughter through that, especially when she's pregnant.
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  • rachellynne27rachellynne27 member
    edited July 2015
    I have tried cutting her off completely, which is why she has never met my daughter. We did try getting along after my daughter was born but my daughter was tiny and not gaining weight, I was stressed, tired and a new mom. Extremely emotional and when she made the threat the first time because I wouldn't send her photos every time she asked and for that I was done.

    Our relationship has always been rocky....something always happens to make her mad and she goes over the edge. I reached a point where I can't keep going through this. My husband and I made the decision to keep her out of our daughters life to protect her from the constant drama and negativity but my family and friends of the family feel I am hurting my child by this choice....I have stopped talking to practically my whole family lots of friends all because of this....in the end I still feel what I'm doing is best.... 

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  • TomekiaBTomekiaB member
    If your mom is that bad, you could look at countering with a restraining order I think they often include no contact orders. 
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  • kristen2bkristen2b member
    redfallon said:


    rachellynne27 said:

    I have tried cutting her off completely, which why she has never met my daughter. We did try getting along after my daughter was born but my daughter was tiny and not gaining weight, I was stressed, tired and a new mom. Extremely emotional and when she made the threat the first time because I wouldn't send her photos every time she asked and for that I was done.

    Are relationship has always been rocky....something always happens to make her mad and she goes over the edge. I reached a point where I can't keep going through this. My husband and I made the decision to keep her out of our daughters life to protect her from the constant drama and negativity but my family and friends of the family feel I am hurting my child by this choice....I have stopped talking to practically my whole family lots of friends all because of this....in the end I still feel what I'm doing is best.... 


    I will never understand (well, I guess I understand, but I think people are being stupid about it) why people think JUST BECAUSE someone is related to you that they have rights to see your kids or that you are hurting your kids from keeping your kids away from their "grandma." If said "grandma" is a toxic person, then you are NOT hurting your kids by keeping them away. You are protecting them. People wear rose-colored glasses a lot and only see, "but that's her grandmother!"

    Ugh.

    Exactly!!!! They don't know what you've dealt with up to this point!
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  • rachellynne27rachellynne27 member
    Is a no contact order even possible given the distance? Her in IA us in TX.

    I blocked her number several times but am not able to permanently block it. We visit IA maybe once a year, my husbands family is also there and we have not run into her since asking her leave us alone, but we do spend most of our time at his parents home and the people who want to visit us come there. I guess you could say we kind of "hide out" when we visit, its a small town...
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  • rachellynne27rachellynne27 member
    She also has 6 other grandchildren right there. 2 of which live with her... I don't understand what is so important about my child, a child well cared for loved and really does not need her, not like the others....
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  • maiatenemaiatene member
    Reaction to the topic - no such thing.

    Reaction to OP - she sounds like a d*ck and can't do anything unless you and/or hubby are unfit parents
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  • ChiccoBeanzChiccoBeanz member
    I'd keep all the written contact, voicemails and such where she makes these threats and acts all types of cuckoo for cocoa puffs and compile a case. This way if you need a restraining order or if she finagles a way to sue you or some nonsense, you have proof. Idk how it works in your state, but I do know that evidence is universal.
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  • Angelface225Angelface225 member
    I'm glad you spoke to a lawyer these laws vary a lot by state/country. I know that where I live there was a precedent for grandparents rights for awhile, but that has changed recently.
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  • duckinovenduckinoven member
    Op thanks for the update, glad you were able to clarify and get some peace of mind. I'm so sorry you are going through this. As painful as it is, you and your husband get to decide who your children will be exposed to and if moms
    Not on the list, then so be it. Keep doing the best you can to raise your babies in a healthy environment!

    It sounds like your husbands
    Parents are very much in the picture and hopefully your kids still get to experience their paternal grandparents. Best wishes
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  • Beckah31Beckah31 member
    I'd send a certified letter asking her not to contact you anymore, and document everything. If she continued, you may not qualify for an OP but you could file a cease and desist order.

    Sorry you're facing this, I can't imagine how painful it is. You sound like a great mom because you are doing for your little ones what your mom is NOT doing for you. You're protecting them from toxicity. Protecting a child from a stressful environment filled with manipulation and drama is always the right path to take.
    Hugs for you OP. Keep your chin up.
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  • Rawr052992Rawr052992 member
    rachellynne27 said:
    Is a no contact order even possible given the distance? Her in IA us in TX.

    I blocked her number several times but am not able to permanently block it. We visit IA maybe once a year, my husbands family is also there and we have not run into her since asking her leave us alone, but we do spend most of our time at his parents home and the people who want to visit us come there. I guess you could say we kind of "hide out" when we visit, its a small town...

    I believe its called a Civil Restraining Order, but you CAN do a restraining order for all contact from anyone, including family members. Any proof of her harassment will help speed it along as well. 
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