Natural Birth research.....wasting time?

babywood15 · July 2015

Not a frequent poster due to hindrances with feedback and hormones. But I can't get this off my mind.

* I tried the search function and could not find help on this specific situation, sorry if this was discussed and I missed it*

STM. First time was a very quick labor/delivery (contractions started at around 6 p.m and baby was here by 6 a.m that morning.) They tried an epidural twice and it didn't take, so I feel I delivered naturally (but I won't say that out loud). No tearing. Pushed for 20 minutes. Perfectly healthy baby and mom.

I felt that the birthing experience I had was my only option. I wasn't educated on all my options. For some reason I'm eager to go a different route. After watching The Business of Being Born and getting my books ( Active Birth, Pushed, The Birth Partner, Natural Childbirth the Bradly Way) I'm ready to fully do more research. Here's my dilemma....

This baby is with my husband. (The first was with a "boyfriend"). I remember the PAIN....oh the pain is excruciating. But in my head I keep thinking that if I do my research and practice I can do this naturally. And by naturally I mean in a hospital where I can be monitored, but have no interventions, pain meds, IV, etc. (there are no midwives where I live.... so this is the only natural option) and my doctor is amazing. I want my husband to be just as educated on the process and coaching. I am scared that I'm going to ask him to read, watch, research, and when the times comes I'm going to back out and get an epi and all the time we put into it went to waste. He's an amazing man who wouldn't care, but at the same time I guess I'm more scared of failing. Make sense? My family says "why would you go natural when you can go pain free!?" so I don't discuss my labor options anymore with them.

Just looking for advice, stories, encouragement, suggestions, anything really.

VexedMommy · July 2015

As long as it's safe for you and your child you're entitled to whatever birthing method works for you. If you feel that's unmedicated, that's fine. If you decide in the heat of the moment that you would like to go a different direction, that's fine too.

Asking your husband to support you in what you would like to do sounds like a healthy partnership to me. If you change your mind, it's no sweat off his back. It's not like the pain gets transferred to him if you choose an epidural. Also, the same things a partner can do to help you in a non-medicated birth are very beneficial in a medicated birth. There isn't much difference for the partner either way.

thefithuntress · July 2015

There is no such thing as "failing" when it comes to bringing life into the world. Get that out of your head because you're going to do an awesome job either way!

I too am choosing to try to give birth without medical intervention or pain relievers. I have done the research, hired a doula, have an excellent midwifery and birth center picked out, and will be attending a birth class with husband in tow.

I think a partner should be respectful of whatever decision you make and the plans you lay out for childbirth. My husband gave me full control of our birth guide. It's your body so it should be your choice. The more educated they are the more supportive they can be.

With that said do I acknowledge that things may not go according to plan? Yup. May I change my mind about an epidural once it gets to the big moment? Of course. What if I have to get a.. gasp.. c-section?! Oh well. As parents we have so many things to worry about. I can't say I'll feel guilty walking my husband through this process with me if things end up changing. It's all out of our control, anyway. Knowledge is never wasteful. Good luck!

Ceridwen77 · July 2015

So you would like an unmediated birth, not a natural birth. All births are natural. There was a thread not to long ago about this topic. The general consensus is you can plan for whatever you want, but when the time comes your plan may fly out the window. So if you would like an unmedicated birth, do what you need to do to prepare, but you can't he disappointed if things turn out differently.

babywood15 · July 2015

Thanks ladies!

@Ceridwen77 I guess I'm not sure the correct term. I want to labor at home as long as possible. But because we don't have midwives anywhere close to us, I have/want to deliver at the hospital. Our hospital doesn't require anything the patient refuses. Like if I don't want an IV I can refuse it unless medically necessary. Do you have a link for the discussion? I cannot for the life of me find it.

katiedhunter · July 2015

Ceridwen77 said:
So you would like an unmediated birth, not a natural birth. All births are natural. There was a thread not to long ago about this topic. The general consensus is you can plan for whatever you want, but when the time comes your plan may fly out the window. So if you would like an unmedicated birth, do what you need to do to prepare, but you can't he disappointed if things turn out differently.

Totally this!

thefithuntress · July 2015

babywood15 said:

Thanks ladies!

@Ceridwen77 I guess I'm not sure the correct term. I want to labor at home as long as possible. But because we don't have midwives anywhere close to us, I have/want to deliver at the hospital. Our hospital doesn't require anything the patient refuses. Like if I don't want an IV I can refuse it unless medically necessary. Do you have a link for the discussion? I cannot for the life of me find it.

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12576598/natural-birth

dramaphile · July 2015

I think one thing that can help is having a birth plan laid out beforehand and making sure the hospital knows your wishes. My best friend had a hospital birth and wanted to go as unmedicated as possible, but knew her mind may change that day. She had things in her birth plan like, "do not ask me if I want an epidural, I will ask for one if I need it." It gave her control over those decisions without feeling pressured. She ended up with an emergency c-section anyway, but she felt empowered to make decisions during her birth experience.

VexedMommy · July 2015

Results of a natural birth

Results of an UNNATURAL birth

A birth that is not "natural" is therefore "unnatural" which has very negative connotations. (See above) That's why it's preferred to use medicated and unmedicated when discussing birthing choices.

thefithuntress · July 2015

VexedMommy said:

Results of a natural birth

Results of an UNNATURAL birth

A birth that is not "natural" is therefore "unnatural" which has very negative connotations. (See above) That's why it's preferred to use medicated and unmedicated when discussing birthing choices.

The hellspawn and alien babies look like they can already walk and feed themselves and stuff. Now I'm reconsidering.

modanz1 · July 2015

thefithuntress said:

VexedMommy said:

Results of a natural birth

Results of an UNNATURAL birth

A birth that is not "natural" is therefore "unnatural" which has very negative connotations. (See above) That's why it's preferred to use medicated and unmedicated when discussing birthing choices.

The hellspawn and alien babies look like they can already walk and feed themselves and stuff. Now I'm reconsidering.

I've heard they are much less work than natural babies. It's something to consider.

Gapeach83 · July 2015

modanz1 said:

thefithuntress said:

VexedMommy said:

Results of a natural birth

Results of an UNNATURAL birth

A birth that is not "natural" is therefore "unnatural" which has very negative connotations. (See above) That's why it's preferred to use medicated and unmedicated when discussing birthing choices.

The hellspawn and alien babies look like they can already walk and feed themselves and stuff. Now I'm reconsidering.

I've heard they are much less work than natural babies. It's something to consider.

I hear they rip you badly though. But they do just get up and walk away. No need to worry raising them. Tough choice. As for a natural birth expect the unexpected. I Had 2 totally different experiences with DD1 and DD2. I am hoping for another one like DD2.

RobinaCee · July 2015

This is my fourth delivery and I'm more worried than any before her due to the fact that all my labours and deliveries have been so different. I say go in with your birth plan but don't feel bad or like a failure if things don't go as planned. As long as baby and mum are healthy in the end that's all that matters

sarahsnowball · July 2015

It really sounds like a doula would be helpful if you can find one. She would help you to stay focused and ensure your wishes are respected in hospital, and she would provide reassurance and support for H.

kmkrushi · July 2015

Omg! You ladies totally made my day! I'll warn everyone though that around 2 they may turn into Hell Spawn anyway, regardless of how you gave birth!

OP you said your first time you had 2 epis that didn't work. Think of this (including bringing your husband into it) as being prepared. You may plan for unmedicated, change your mind, and it not work again. So all on all I think you're doing the right thing for you.

meghanviolet · July 2015

I think that you should go with what feels right to you. I have found that prenatal yoga helps with alternative pain management/breathing techniques as does a child birthing class focused on methods for birthing without intervention. If it is an option for you, maybe you should also consult with a doula, I am unsure of the statistics but I have heard success stories from others who said that having a trained doula really helped.

I wish you the best of luck on this path. I too am hoping to deliver without intervention not only because of personal feelings about it, but there is also a strong possibility that I may be allergic to the epidural (family history). So my pregnancy has been geared toward this since the beginning. I found a hospital that is very open with great intervention statistics and an OB/GYN who is fully supportive of my birth plan, in addition to the prenatal yoga and the natural birthing class. I looked into a Doula but I'm not someone who is overly comfortable with the idea of a stranger in the room, other than the obvious medical staff, so my husband and my mother are going to act as my coaches.

That being said, there is no shame in deciding, once things get going that you do not want to go through without the meds and don't let anyone tell you any different. Each pregnancy and birth is different so it's nice to plan and want things to go a certain way but also be prepared to let it all go right out the window. Again, best of luck I wish you a smooth delivery.

helsbels222 · July 2015

Gapeach83 said:

modanz1 said:

thefithuntress said:

VexedMommy said:

Results of a natural birth

Results of an UNNATURAL birth

A birth that is not "natural" is therefore "unnatural" which has very negative connotations. (See above) That's why it's preferred to use medicated and unmedicated when discussing birthing choices.

The hellspawn and alien babies look like they can already walk and feed themselves and stuff. Now I'm reconsidering.

I've heard they are much less work than natural babies. It's something to consider.

I hear they rip you badly though. But they do just get up and walk away. No need to worry raising them. Tough choice. As for a natural birth expect the unexpected. I Had 2 totally different experiences with DD1 and DD2. I am hoping for another one like DD2.

It would result in a 6 degree tear, I imagine.

mamavbs · July 2015

VexedMommy said:
Results of a natural birth

Results of an UNNATURAL birth

A birth that is not "natural" is therefore "unnatural" which has very negative connotations. (See above) That's why it's preferred to use medicated and unmedicated when discussing birthing choices.

You're my internet hero. Huge creepy love for you

Kitta+1 · July 2015

Hehe the 6th degree tear comment killed me lmao

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