Room Sharing for Older Siblings

MississippiCatfish · July 2015

When baby arrives, big brothers will be 3yo and 18mo. If we give baby their own room, we lose our guest room, which is the only reason my mom has been coming to spend the weekend over the past few months. (Prior to moving to this house, she always made excuses and didn't want to intrude, etc.) I'd really like to preserve that guest room so that she will come visit, especially when my husband resumes traveling for work a bit. I will also mention that we have put both of our first two babies in their cribs almost right away. With DS1, we tried having him in our room for a week and nobody slept. So I have considered keeping the baby in with us for a few months to put this off, but I don't think DH would go for it.

So, with all that said, I think I want to try moving the boys into one room. Can someone who has gone before me give me any thoughts, advice, ideas?? Are these good ages to combine a room? Too young? Are they going to get any sleep in there together, or will they wake each other up all night? Thanks for your thoughts!

FreshBakedBrownies · July 2015

I've got a somewhat similar situation. I'll have a 3 year old and two newborns. Either all three go in one room or we lose our guest room, which my out of town parents use every few months.
I'm worried two newborns who naturally will be up several times a night will wake up my toddler.
I'm considering moving the guest bed to the basement or having two mini cribs or cosleepers in our room.

RN0107 · July 2015

My first 2 shared a room for a year before we moved into a bigger house. My oldest was 2 at the time and my youngest was 6 months. It took almost a month for them to not wake each other up at night. Once they got used to each other it was fine. They could even take naps at the same time. It's completely doable.
I'm sort of in a similar situation now. We have 4 bedrooms but the 4th is on the 3rd floor/finished attic space. I'm not sure if my 3 year old will be ok up there by himself. I might have the 2 and 3 year old share a room for a little bit.

camusoh2011 · July 2015

It is 100% doable. The three we have now are starting to get a little old for it (mostly just my stepdaughter because she's growing up and all), but they don't want to be in separate rooms. All three of them currently share a room out of need, but we're looking for a bigger home that will allow at least one of them to move out (or be a room for this baby). I think if this one is a girl we'll do a girls room and a boys room, but if this one is a boy I'm not sure what we'll do even with the extra room. Three boys in one room while the other sits empty most of the time (we don't have my stepdaughter near as often as we would like) just seems wrong. We'll see, but for your situation I don't see any reason why all three couldn't share a room. I have found it's made my kids closer and better sleepers.

MississippiCatfish · July 2015

Thanks for the feedback - I appreciate the positive vibes! Good to hear it was only about a month until they stopped waking each other up all the time @RN0107.

We have four bedrooms, so I only have to combine 2 of the 3 kids to keep the guest room open. I'm assuming it'll be easiest with the older two. I guess we'll see!

NoelBird · July 2015

While I don't have experience with the room sharing I decided to give up my guest bed for the new baby. I just moved my son, who was sleeping in the converted crib, into the current guest bed so the new baby will have the crib. I figure, we live in the house 24/7 and our comfort is more important than anyone who may choose to visit. We only have visitors a few times a year so they will probably get a blow up mattress going forward.

With my son I couldn't keep him in my room either, he kept us all up. I am going to try again with this baby though and maybe it will be different.

lauren0571 · July 2015

I'm really glad to see this post. My son will be three when baby 2.0 arrives and I've been struggling to decide if they should share a room.
We live in an old row house. Two rooms on the second floor and two on the third. I'm nervous about putting my son alone on the third floor. We have a pretty old (read: not so safe) staircase. At the same time I am not sure how exhausting (and loud) it will be to go up and down the staircase throughout the night to care for the baby. I am also nervous to have a tiny baby on the third floor by themself.
I guess my question is: at what age is it safe to have your kids share a room? Can a newborn and a three year old share a room?

g8trkim · July 2015

We moved DD in with DS when she was 4 months and he was not quite 3. It was doable but not ideal. Bedtime had to be coordinated just so as to not wake the other. If a schedule wad thrown off, we were screws. We moved last year and I was so happy when they got their own rooms. I don't think putting two kids who already sleep well through the night together would be a huge deal though. I guess it depends on the kids. Mine are 2 1/2 & 5 now. I think if I tried to put them together again it would be a nightmare. DD isn't a great sleeper and also they get really really silly together. They are across the hall now and constantly get in trouble for giggling and running into each others rooms at bedtime.

toorahloorah · July 2015

This exact topic has been on my mind. We will keep our new little one in our room til 6 months like we did with our daughter- but when we combine them they will be room sharing at 2 years old and 6 months- I've been wondering how night wake ups work in that case.

Kiek · July 2015

This is helpful. I have a two bedroom home so DD and the new baby will be sharing a room. No getting around it. My daughter will be 2.5 when the baby gets here and she sleeps really well. I know the baby will be in our room for a little bit while the nighttime feedings are every two hours but once we get on a schedule, little one will move in with big sister. It is going to be interesting to say the least

Achae · July 2015

g8trkim said:

We moved DD in with DS when she was 4 months and he was not quite 3. It was doable but not ideal. Bedtime had to be coordinated just so as to not wake the other. If a schedule wad thrown off, we were screws. We moved last year and I was so happy when they got their own rooms. I don't think putting two kids who already sleep well through the night together would be a huge deal though. I guess it depends on the kids. Mine are 2 1/2 & 5 now. I think if I tried to put them together again it would be a nightmare. DD isn't a great sleeper and also they get really really silly together. They are across the hall now and constantly get in trouble for giggling and running into each others rooms at bedtime.

Aww I know that has to be frustrating but I think that is the cutest thing ever. Hormones ahhh!

KaitM5 · July 2015

Our 2 girls "shared" a room for 6 months while we temporarily lived in VA. I say shared since they napped in separate rooms and we would put the youngest to sleep in her pack and play and move her over into the shared room after they had both fallen asleep.
oldest was just over 2yo. Youngest was around 10 months.
We moved again and now they share a room with their own full size beds. Naps are still separate, but they go to bed at the same time and in the same room.
Really good sleepers, but it does take some time for them to calm down some nights.

We have a guest room which will be baby 3's once they arrive. We can always move baby back to the pack and play while we have visitors.

Good luck! I would start transitioning soon if you are considering. (Those with older sibs who will be sharing) or even toddlers out of the crib. Get everyone used to the new sleeping arrangements before baby comes and changes everything again

BabySeaTurtles · July 2015

NoelBird said:
While I don't have experience with the room sharing I decided to give up my guest bed for the new baby. I just moved my son, who was sleeping in the converted crib, into the current guest bed so the new baby will have the crib. I figure, we live in the house 24/7 and our comfort is more important than anyone who may choose to visit. We only have visitors a few times a year so they will probably get a blow up mattress going forward.

With my son I couldn't keep him in my room either, he kept us all up. I am going to try again with this baby though and maybe it will be different.

^^ This. All of it. ^^

bublesmiled · July 2015

My situation is somewhat similar, but the big difference is my children will be farther apart in age. The way my house is set up, is it's 3 bedrooms, but one bedroom is downstairs. It's not big enough to be the master and I won't put one of the kids down when everyone else is up. My dd will be 7 when the baby is born, and regardless of the sex, they will be sharing a room for now. We are hoping to move within the next 2 years, but we don't have much of a choice. We'll make the bedroom downstairs the playroom, because I need the toys out of the room to fit the crib. We as humans are adaptable, although sometimes we are given non-ideal situations, we deal with them and make the best of the situation. I wouldn't stress about putting the kids together, it will all work out.

g8trkim · July 2015

Achae said:

g8trkim said:

We moved DD in with DS when she was 4 months and he was not quite 3. It was doable but not ideal. Bedtime had to be coordinated just so as to not wake the other. If a schedule wad thrown off, we were screws. We moved last year and I was so happy when they got their own rooms. I don't think putting two kids who already sleep well through the night together would be a huge deal though. I guess it depends on the kids. Mine are 2 1/2 & 5 now. I think if I tried to put them together again it would be a nightmare. DD isn't a great sleeper and also they get really really silly together. They are across the hall now and constantly get in trouble for giggling and running into each others rooms at bedtime.

Aww I know that has to be frustrating but I think that is the cutest thing ever. Hormones ahhh!

Yes, it's sweet the love each other so much.

Also, holy cow with the misspellings in my original post. A bad mix of autocorrect and middle of the night posting.

CuriousKiddosMama · July 2015

I wouldn't be too concerned about keeping a guest bedroom specifically for your mom. You need to be able to live in your house. One thing I would suggest if the room is big enough, would your older child be able to sleep on a small mattress on the floor (either in the guest bedroom or nursery) when grandma is there. Or is there room for a futon? My ds room currently has his bed and a futon in it because when my husbands parents come to visit, his brother often does as well, so we need 2 places for guests to sleep. Uncle will be on the futon in ds room and grandma and grandpa get the guest bedroom.
Room sharing is completely doable if that is the way you choose to go, but I would rather use the space for us that leave it empty 90% of the time for the couple weeks a year we get company.

oxfordlanding · July 2015

Our friends had three under three sharing (although not from newborn) and said the youngest actually settled quicker because of it. With a baby and a three year old could the older one try to play with the baby and hurt him? Their boys are still sharing with no issues at 3 and 6. Out of interest - what age would you split up girls and boys?

oxfordlanding · July 2015

Also in many countries the whole family sleeps in one room :-)

jordans_wife · July 2015

Speaking from experience they do great with it! People say the other one will sleep through noise the other one makes and I always had a hard time believing it. But they do! Ours are 2 years apart and now 3 and 5. They started at probably 2 and a half and 6 months and it was pretty seemless. I think it's nice having them together and would go for it!

Kiek · July 2015

jordans_wife said:
Speaking from experience they do great with it! People say the other one will sleep through noise the other one makes and I always had a hard time believing it. But they do! Ours are 2 years apart and now 3 and 5. They started at probably 2 and a half and 6 months and it was pretty seemless. I think it's nice having them together and would go for it!

This definitely puts my mind at ease. My daughter will be 2.5. There is no other option but for both kiddos to share.

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