Will I ever conceive?

Jessica Spellman · June 2015

Hey y'all. My husband and I have been trying to conceive with our first for over a year now. We are in our mid/late 20's and healthy. I am usually a glass half full kind of girl but each month I lose hope. When I talk to friends all they say is " it will happen when the time is right." I'm sick of hearing that. Does anyone advice? We are seeing doctors soon but I don't even know how much that will entail physically, emotionally, or financially. Any ideas?

GoldenKeys · June 2015

Hello and welcome to the board! If you haven't already, please take a moment to read our "New Visitors" message which can be found here.

Infertility is an emotional rollercoaster and women who are fertile have no idea how painful it is. They usually say stuff that is just not helpful or downright obnoxious even though they are trying to help. My advice is to stop talking to them about it altogether. Don't even let them know that you're going through treatment until you're further along in the process.

The second thing that most of us will recommend is get to a reproductive endocrinologist instead of an OBGYN if you can. OBGYNs are not fertility experts, they are there to keep our girl parts healthy and to take care of pregnancy. An RE is there to treat infertility and get you pregnant. Most OBGYNs do not have the equipment or the training to handle infertility, but have the power to make prescriptions. They often throw drugs at you without even knowing what the cause of your infertility is in the first place. For example if your husband has a very low count or if you have blocked tubes no prescription is going to fix that.

I hope that you stay to give and receive support with the rest of us who are in the same boat. There are some awesome women here!

AndieB83 · June 2015

I would definitely see a RE Sooner than later. I had no idea how perfect all the conditions need to be to even get to IUI. I thought I'd be able to get things rolling the first month, but I didn't get to do IUI until 4 months after my first visit. Now I just say I pray to be pregnant in 2015.
Stay strong, even though sometimes it feels impossible to do so! Especially when everyone around you is pregnant or has kids.
You have support here, but try to find someone that's near you to lean on. I have a great support system of ladies who have been praying for me. You aren't going through this alone! Just remember that!
Good luck to you!

WarmthOfTheSun · June 2015

Hi Jessie! I'm glad you posted--sometimes you just need to know you aren't alone. When you get to that 1 year mark it's so hard. You start thinking the worst and all those emotions can really cause a lot of stress. My hubby and I have been trying almost 2 years and on Friday I had my first infertility appt. I think you should make an appointment with even just your OBGYN for a checkup and to talk to her/him about what comes next. They will test your blood, give you an ultrasound, and help set up an appt for your DH to have his sperm analyzed. These are all the first steps (and least invasive tests) to check what could be wrong. Sometimes the fix is helping you ovulate (with Clomid) or helping stabilize your hormones. Maybe they'll find something in the semen analysis that will help give you some answers. All I know is that I wish I would have gone in for my first infertility evaluation sooner. I didn't because I was scared (about cost, about what they would find, etc). You have all of us to help support you and you can vent to us! I really hope everything works out!! Keep us posted!

przemosbabe · July 2015

Once you find out what your fertility issue is, if you have one, then you will be closer to having your baby in your arms. You need answers and that's the first step. Good luck to you

CopperLane · July 2015

We are all sick of hearing the "it will happen" and "just relax" spiel from family/friends. Especially when it comes from people who didn't have to wait so long to get pregnant. Have you tracked your cycles with temping and OPKs? Sometimes women have normal length cycles but ovulate at different days than the "norm" and can miss the fertile window that way. Depending on your insurance, you may need a referral from and OBGYN to an RE. OBs can take care of preliminary fertility testing and transfer your results to the RE they refer you to.

You aren't alone! My husband and I reached our year mark in March and that was the hardest month for us. I think just the shock of making it to a year with no pregnancy was the worst. It's been easier since then. I have PCOS so I am not wondering why I'm not pregnant, having a diagnosis helps too. Good luck with everything!!!!

MKLEWIS2010 · July 2015

I waited too long to see an RE and my original OB didn't seem to be bothered or take my concerns or problems seriously. I ended up switching my OB she referred me to an RE and I was diagnosed with endometriosis and had laparoscopy to remove it in January my dh has low count and motility and we have to do IVF. It's good to know the problem and how to fix it. Once you have a diagnosis you can figure out how to proceed. Also the doctors office will run your insurance and let you know how much the procedures will cost. The earlier you have a diagnosis the better because then you can start to plan and save for the treatments if necessary. Good luck!

dani4est · July 2015

Ugh I totally understand how you feel. It's like you spend most of your life trying to NOT get pregnant... and then when you want to, it seems like it takes forever and becomes incredibly consuming.

Our first step was meeting with our OBGYN. I went through some testing (blood work, HSG, ultrasounds) to make sure I was healthy, and my husband did the same. Once we had the results to all of our tests, we came up with a plan with our doctor.

Good luck!!!!!!!!!!

AdorkablePixie · July 2015

@JessieLeighBee123 Welcome. Not many people know about my DH and I TTC, so I don't hear a lot of those comments but sometimes my best friends says it and it makes me so mad. She had two kids with no problem and does not get it. She tells people she had trouble getting pregnant and that it took forever... it took her three months and she didn't need any help.

We have been TTC for 17 months so I understand your frustrating! My doctor did blood work, an HSG, an MRI, other blood work, SA, etc and now we are ready to move forward with treatment. Hopefully soon I will have my first IUI.

GL in your journey.

Ccat1977 · July 2015

Sorry you're going through this but don't lose hope. It took a year and half to conceive my first daughter. Went through all the tests with few answers. Once my husband went on antibiotics we got pregnant shortly after. Still don't know what that was about. Second time around - no luck for 8 years so we had given up. "One is good enough" we said. we moved across the country (talk about stress) and surprise! Now pregnant again at the age of 38. You just never know what life with throw at you.

Will I ever conceive?

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