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Gift Grabby

I am so confused what is this concept? If people don't want to come to your shower they don't and that goes the same with gifts. I have read this in several post especially when people say they want to throw their own shower. Can someone please explain where this doesn't sound insane? Thanks

Re: Gift Grabby

  • I am so confused what is this concept? If people don't want to come to your shower they don't and that goes the same with gifts. I have read this in several post especially when people say they want to throw their own shower. Can someone please explain where this doesn't sound insane? Thanks
    While an invitation is not a summons, some people feel very uncomfortable declining them. Maybe it's your sister and everyone in the family will talk if you don't go, maybe it's a good friend of yours and you don't want to upset her despite feeling very put off by how she's acting, maybe it's your niece and you don't want your sister bitching at you for the next year until she gets over it. And as pp said, a shower is a Gift giving event. If you throw it in honor of yourself, you are basically asking people to buy you presents. Now then. It's human to want gifts. It's human to want attention. But you don't have to throw your own shower to get those things. Even without a shower people are going to want to buy you gifts (shit, I haven't even gotten an invitation for my cousin yet and I've been picking up stuff for her already, she's not due until early october, I don't even know if she's having a shower) If you want attention, well, surely you've been getting attention for the duration of your pregnancy, but you could throw a Sip n See or Meet the Baby party once you are comfortable with guests around baby.
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  • Thank you for those that responded. I just did not see it that way because my friends family nor myself look at it that way.
    Also-- I feel like this is ban-bait to see who gets upset. Search the boards. It's explained over & over again in rather sane ways.

    As for you I stated I read the boards no need to get rude. I am not trying to post something to make people upset if they get upset at a question or get rude that is a personal issue. Throwing a shower is no different than throwing yourself a birthday party so no it did not make since to me. Who gets upset over a question they did not have to respond to? Anyways have a wonderful day.

  • Wow I can't believe this is a thing. Seriously I think it depends on where you live. EVERYONE throws their own shower in Miami, some even charge their guests (in addition to a gift), and even if you're having another baby Of the same sex as your first, you still throw another shower. No one complains about it, it just is.
  • didi808 said:

    Wow I can't believe this is a thing. Seriously I think it depends on where you live. EVERYONE throws their own shower in Miami, some even charge their guests (in addition to a gift), and even if you're having another baby Of the same sex as your first, you still throw another shower. No one complains about it, it just is.

    This can't be real. There is no way on earth I'd ever pay a cover to attend a gift giving event, even if it was in honor of my own sister. Utter nonsense.
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  • Don't get me wrong, I hate the cover charge thing. I'm just saying, it's worse than just girls planning their own showers where I'm from. So planning your own shower is no big deal to me!
  • Even when people ask for diapers I feel like it's an "entrance fee" and bothers me tbh.
  • I've been to plenty of baby showers, but I have been to only one where it was specified who threw the shower. Unless someone asked or it is a family member, we usually don't know who throws the shower where I'm from. At least in my specific area, anyway. Personally, I don't care who throws your shower... I treat people the way I would like to be treated, or at least I try to. If I really really really disagree with the way they are throwing their shower, like the whole entry fee thing, I just won't go. But I really don't care about who throws the shower... I don't think it's that serious. Yeah, the event itself is a gift from the host for the mother and father to be to get more gifts, but it's a celebration.... and most people traditionally give gifts at those parties...so I know I don't see it as a big deal. Neither does anyone I know.
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  • @Jonesy288 Usually the person you RSVP to is the host, if the invitation doesn't clearly say Hosted by:  Sue, Mary & Aunt Betty (for example). 
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  • @Jonesy288 Usually the person you RSVP to is the host, if the invitation doesn't clearly say Hosted by:  Sue, Mary & Aunt Betty (for example). 

    Oh yeah... that was a total duh moment for me. Thanks for the reminder.
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    didi808 said:
    Don't get me wrong, I hate the cover charge thing. I'm just saying, it's worse than just girls planning their own showers where I'm from. So planning your own shower is no big deal to me!

    So you ARE, in fact, complaining about it....  Or backpeddling.  Which ever you want to call it, I guess. 


  • @DylansCandyBar I noticed you on several baby shower boards discussing etiquette. I am curious as to what your sources are. Do you just search the internet? Is there a particular site to use or a book I can purchase? This is a serious question btw. No snark or anything intended. I'm just interested in learning about these unspoken and seemingly variant rules. Thank you :)
  • Snoflakes4evaSnoflakes4eva member
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    edited July 2015
    Jonesy226 said:
    @DylansCandyBar I noticed you on several baby shower boards discussing etiquette. I am curious as to what your sources are. Do you just search the internet? Is there a particular site to use or a book I can purchase? This is a serious question btw. No snark or anything intended. I'm just interested in learning about these unspoken and seemingly variant rules. Thank you :)


    Emily Post is a good place to start.

    ETA: A lot of etiquette is common sense. Mostly, host people properly.

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  • @snoflake4eva... See now that comment was almost helpful until the ETA section. It came off rude, maybe not intentionally, but it definitely read with some snark. 

    Anyhoo, although it maybe "common sense" in your opinion, and that of many others, I'm sure the etiquette varies depending on cultures, traditions, families, locations and so on. That is why I asked the poster I tagged for her sources, that and because I have seen her very often giving baby shower advice. So, even though you may have been trying to help...the last section overshadowed. I'll take a look at Emily Post's Baby Shower stuff though, thanks anyway. 
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  • ChiccoBeanzChiccoBeanz member
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    edited July 2015
    I have to ask

    Are @Jonesy288 and @Jonesy226 the same person? 
    Yes, I had made two different accounts and totally forgot about it. So when I logged in on my phone, I was on 1 account and on another on the computer. I stopped using Jonesy226 once I realized the difference in the names. *Shrugs*

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  • Everycol0rEverycol0r member
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    edited July 2015
    There's nothing wrong with a bit of snark.

    And a friend of mine is pregnant with her 3rd boy in several years, and has completed a registry to which she's posted on FB earlier this week. And has everything on it. EVERYTHING. Stroller, car seat, crib, clothes, bibs, pack n play, high chair, etc.

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  • There's nothing wrong with a bit of snark. And a friend of mine is pregnant with her 3rd boy in several years, and has completed a registry to which she's posted on FB earlier this week. And has everything on it. EVERYTHING. Stroller, car seat, crib, clothes, bibs, pack n play, high chair, etc. Gift. Grabby.



    She posted it on fb? See that is something that I find tacky. 


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  • Jonesy288 said:
    There's nothing wrong with a bit of snark. And a friend of mine is pregnant with her 3rd boy in several years, and has completed a registry to which she's posted on FB earlier this week. And has everything on it. EVERYTHING. Stroller, car seat, crib, clothes, bibs, pack n play, high chair, etc. Gift. Grabby.

    She posted it on fb? See that is something that I find tacky. 


    That screams "I don't necessarily want you in on the celebration, but buy me stuff anyways!"

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  • Jonesy288 said:



    There's nothing wrong with a bit of snark.

    And a friend of mine is pregnant with her 3rd boy in several years, and has completed a registry to which she's posted on FB earlier this week. And has everything on it. EVERYTHING. Stroller, car seat, crib, clothes, bibs, pack n play, high chair, etc.

    Gift. Grabby.




    She posted it on fb? See that is something that I find tacky. 





    This! Why did she post it on FB?!?!
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