Rule I Didn't Know About

gollymrsmolly · July 2015

Is there some sort of rule that children should be 2 years apart that I didn't know about?

We having been spilling the beans to some family and friends and multiple people have said, "Oh, but DS won't be two yet?" As if this is a rule? This was a planned pregnancy and we are over the moon DS and LO will be 18/19 months apart. I guess it has just been a little disappointing to hear people's reactions.

Anyone else with a "close" age gap getting this kind of reaction? What do you say back?

wisco29 · July 2015

No rule. I am 17 months apart from my brother. Dd and lo will almost exactly 23 months apart.

Latina211508 · July 2015

There is no rule. People have their own opinions about what they consider right or best. My first two are 24 months apart, second to third are 19 months apart and my third/forth will be barely 3 years apart. I had some reactions when I got pregnant with my second. I like my kids close in age

bookqueen · July 2015

I think a lot of people consider two years the "perfect age gap", but frankly it's silly to me. We originally wanted ours two years apart but we weren't ready and our kid was a nightmare at the time. I think the gap we will have now is perfect since DS is so independent, he will be almost 4 when the baby is born.

Nymommy2015 · July 2015

It's funny, I get the exact opposite reaction... I had my son when I was 17 (yes very young), now that I've gotten my life together and have an amazing job and bf are in a financially stable situation, we planned this one. My son will be 8 when this little one is born. The reaction I get is "but you waited soooo long" or "isn't it like starting all over again!?" These of course being the same people/family who who said "you're too young to be having a baby!" The first time around. People have opinions, you cannot please everyone

congratulations momma!

dreigel28 · July 2015

No rule! Ugh, I hate when people butt in that way! I did read an article that said it's optimal to wait until 18 mos post delivery to "try" for another- bc it actually takes your body that long to really recover from the baby. But, ultimately as long as you and baby are healthy, it really is personal choice!:) mine will be about 26 mos apart- but I was hoping for a little less than that, maybe with #3;)

DrillSergeantCat · July 2015

Nymommy2015 said:

It's funny, I get the exact opposite reaction... I had my son when I was 17 (yes very young), now that I've gotten my life together and have an amazing job and bf are in a financially stable situation, we planned this one. My son will be 8 when this little one is born. The reaction I get is "but you waited soooo long" or "isn't it like starting all over again!?" These of course being the same people/family who who said "you're too young to be having a baby!" The first time around. People have opinions, you cannot please everyone congratulations momma!

I've got a 19 year age difference with mine. I really am starting over.

AdventureMama · July 2015

It is pretty amazing what people think they can comment on when you're expecting. We're getting a lot of "Oh he'll be just over 2 years old, perfect age gap!" I guess? It'd be a little more convenient if he were going to be older, I think, but we want several more kids, hopefully, and I'd like to get the pregnant/nursing stage of my life over with sooner rather than later, so here we are.

You're going to get weird advice and comments no matter what, I'd get used to letting them roll off you now!

willamina28 · July 2015

I'm expecting the same types of reactions, mine will be 16 months apart.

One friend read and article to talk me out of trying for them close in age, that says the optimal time to give your body to recover is 18 months. My doctor told me to wait at least 6 months, and she preferred a year.

g8trkim · July 2015

No rule, that's just people giving unwanted opinions. I do know many doctors recommend waiting a year after childbirth to conceive because it's healthier for the mother. Doesn't mean you have to, it's just a safe recommendation.

cMichelle0423 · July 2015

We get it all the time from everyone, friends, family, random people like the cashier at target. Our two boys are a year old and 2, so they're 16 months apart. By the time our third is born, they're will be about 3 years between this lo and our oldest, and 20 months with our second. We've only told a couple people and have already gotten comments like that. Some people don't realize that some of us actually want our kids close together.

I haven't told my parents yet but I already know they're going to say something about how hard it'll be to raise 3 kids so close in age and how they feel bad that we won't be able to give our kids the attention they deserve blah blah blah. We heard it all when I got pregnant with ds2.

ashcody2 · July 2015

Ours will be a little over 3 years apart when this one is born - I've always been told to wait until they are "3 years apart" but I'm guessing people think that will make it easier? I don't know. When we had our first born, we definitely wanted to wait 3 years apart but now I am kind of wishing we would have tried to conceive a year ago, so that the kids would be closer in age.

Sillysnick2k16 · July 2015

No rule, people are just rude. I'm 7 years older than my middle brother and he is 4 years older than our baby brother. My husband and his sibling are all 5 years apart.

ashleyandjody · July 2015

My older brother and I are 14 months apart and my younger brother and I are 15 months apart. We are all very close to one another and get along very well.

oxfordlanding · July 2015

I have a friend who had three quite close together and I probably said something fairly tactless like 'wow that sounds like really hard work, they are really close together! '. I think people are a bit clueless until they have been through it. I certainly was. Just smile serenely and ignore them.

jellybellybean3 · July 2015

My first two are 14 months apart. I got snide comments all the time when I was pregnant with my second. Little things like "oh you must be crazy" or "you will have your hands full" and many more of the same kind of remarks. My hands were busy, and it was/is really hard but I wouldn't change it. Even now aalllllll the time I get asked if they are twins and when I respond no, someone always has to make a comment about the age difference like.. "You must have started right after you had your first". Just stupid things. It would be nice if people would just smile and say congrats or that's great. Even though my youngest is 2.5 Im scared to announce this third one, ugh!

jellybellybean3 · July 2015

Ps: it WOULD have been easier if we had waited a bit.. I'm not going to lie. It was HARD! Which is why this third one is more spread out lol! But I still don't need people commenting or telling me about it. .. It was our decision and I got that all on my own. Just ignore them and smile. They will grow up being best friends!! I'm already seeing signs of that.. When they aren't wrestling or rolling on top of each other that is

.

ecmb · July 2015

Some people think you should have them at once and get it "out of the way" (FTR I hate when people say this) and others think you should have them 5 years apart or you're crazy.

My sister and I are 18 months apart and we've always enjoyed being close in age.

Just let their comments roll off your back.

DaisyTortilla · July 2015

I heard of waiting 18 months between babies so your body can properly heal. When I told people about my Irish twins, I got very bad reactions and lectures from every nurse and OB. Yeah I get it, it wasn't planned and BC failed us, what was I supposed to do?!

BoyblueGirlypink · July 2015

They say it's best for your body to have 2 years break. That's why the norm is 2 years and people think kids should be 2 years apart. I was told 2 summers should pass before trying again.

Timmysgal02 · July 2015

Definitely no rule! My girls are 18 months apart to the day, and they are best friends! It's one of those things where you nod and pretend and try not to take opinions personally!!

toorahloorah · July 2015

Mine will be 17 months apart. I've heard from everyone about how they think it's too close. We would have had them closer if I could have gotten pregnant sooner. Most people seem to think I should have waited four years. Glad they all have so many feelings about my family.

Nymommy2015 · July 2015

Knottie30790171 said:

Nymommy2015 said:

It's funny, I get the exact opposite reaction... I had my son when I was 17 (yes very young), now that I've gotten my life together and have an amazing job and bf are in a financially stable situation, we planned this one. My son will be 8 when this little one is born. The reaction I get is "but you waited soooo long" or "isn't it like starting all over again!?" These of course being the same people/family who who said "you're too young to be having a baby!" The first time around. People have opinions, you cannot please everyone congratulations momma!

I've got a 19 year age difference with mine. I really am starting over.

Wow, I guess so! Congratulations! I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing. There's 5 years between me and my middle sister And then 7 years between my middle and oldest sister. So 12 between my oldest sister and I. The cool thing about that though is my oldest sister had her first daughter when I was 8. So my niece is now 17 and I'm 25. I'm extremely close with my niece and wouldn't change that for a minute

Edit: autocorrect

4N6s · July 2015

They probably don't think they can do it, but no one really realizes how close in age kids are in the future... It's more the school grade separation.
It's all good!

Achae · July 2015

I've heard people say oh no two under two from the family expecting, so I don't see why it's so shocking others would comment. Many kids aren't potty trained before 2 so you'll have two batches of diapers, under 2 and they'll still be learning new skills etc.

Adyer7 · July 2015

Man people can be so judgmental. There's no perfect timing. You're building a family, and every family is different. My brother and I are 21 months apart and are really close. I was just a grade behind him in school and we always had friends in common. Heck If it weren't for my brother I wouldn't know my husband!

Congrats on your newest little one!

breanna86 · July 2015

My first 2 are 12 months and 11 days apart. My first born passed away, however, so I didn't have 2 small ones in the house. I wanted t have my 3rd right away also (I was hoping for them to be a LOT closer together than they will be). People kept telling me that I was crazy and I should wait until DS was at least 2. Well because of our previous experience with DC1 and DC2 was basically a surprise, DH was not ready for another baby yet so we waited. And as soon as DS was passed that 2 year mark people started asking when we were going to have another. Well now that he's almost 4 we are finally having another baby people are making the "it's about time" comments. Basically, it's none of anyone's business when and how you decide to grow your family. My hopes are that the one after this won't be another 4 years but it happens that way, it happens that way.

FunnyGal18 · July 2015

The doctor that delivered my 5 month said that it's awesome to have them close together bc they're all going to be doing the same things at the same time (I'm carrying 2 right now). I'm liking it so far bc my baby takes 3 naps a day so I get to rest and take a nap, too. I can't imagine chasing a toddler around when I'm just so exhausted right now.

wisco29 · July 2015

According to stores this is a rule, I have had the hardest time finding anything small enough for dd that says big sister everything is in the kids sizes. I have found a few toddler sizes but they are still 2t plus

amvega87 · August 2015

This is a perfect example of why I constantly consider writing "I do not want your advice or critique" on my forehead, every day. Lol!! I don't know why some people completely forget social etiquette when they speak to pregnant women. I for one have a younger sister I am relatively close in age to and our brother is 10 years younger. And you know what? We all couldn't be closer!

congrats on your new addition, mama!

gollymrsmolly · August 2015

@wisco29 try Etsy! I ordered our sons t-shirt from a store called, 'The Pine Torch' and they have lots of options!

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