Advice from mom's who didn't use an epidural

rachj711 · July 2015

I really want to give birth without an epidural, but I am a FTM with no experience! Any advice on what to expect? What was the worst part/most painful for you? Any input/advice/motivation greatly appreciated! Thanks!

jabeauty90 · July 2015

There is literally nothing to compare the pain to. Some people it's not bad but others it's dreadful. I try to do natural every time until I can't handle it any longer. The bath helps a lot in my own experience.

WDDCH · July 2015

I haven't had a kidney stone before but if you've had one of those then I'm told a kidney stone hurts worse than labor.

Everyone handles pain differently and may have less pain or more pain (if baby is not in an optimal position). Trying to stay calm and relaxed and breathe during contractions are what carry me through. My biggest advice: focus on one contraction at a time. Rest between. Labor pain isn't the same as other pain because you do have breaks between and it is purposeful pain because it is bringing baby out.

I didn't find water to make the contractions less painful but I still prefer to get in the birth tub.

The worst pain for me would be transition phase of labor (the phase right before pushing). Contractions are right on top of one another and there's a lot of pressure from baby's head descending. By that time I know baby is about to be born. Time doesn't make sense during that time. During transition you swear it is taking ages but once baby is birthed you'd swear it all happened so fast! And it is the shortest phase of labor.

Once baby is born there is great relief. You'll be sore and throbby down there but other than that the pain of labor is behind you and you'll be oohing and crying over baby.

rachj711 · July 2015

@WDDCH i actually get kidney stones all the time unfortunately, so I am quite familiar with that pain. Thanks for all of your advice

WDDCH · July 2015

rachj711 said:
@WDDCH i actually get kidney stones all the time unfortunately, so I am quite familiar with that pain. Thanks for all of your advice

My husband had one once. He was making noises like women make in natural birth: the groans, the moans and vocalizations. He threw up from the pain on the way to the doctor. Later, when we knew it was a stone causing his suffering, some lady friends of mine said they'd take labor over kidney stones any day! So far it's the only pain I've ever heard compared to labor.

You can do this, momma. If this is what you want then fight for it. If you haven't already check some natural birth books out at the library. If you can't take a class I'd at least read natural birth stories, watch them (YouTube) and read up on labor techniques. I practice breathing every time I get a BH!

KYmama9286 · July 2015

I've had 3 without pain meds and like pp said, there's really nothing to compare the pain to. It's different because the pain is from your body doing what its supposed to vs pain from a trauma like a broken bone or injury. Honestly, pain tolerance has very little to do with your ability to birth naturally. The most important thing is to stay calm and relaxed and breathing. If you tense up or scream high pitched it is counter productive (low moaning is different and can be helpful).

My best advice is to really educate yourself on the birthing process- knowing and understanding what was going on in my body really helped me manage the discomfort since I understood the purpose behind the pain and where I was at as far as stages of labor. Also having a good labor support is crucial. We used the Bradley method and it worked perfectly for me! The emotional signposts it talked about were spot on for me, and as pp said transition is definitely the hardest but it's short lived and a sign you are very close to the end (again, recognizing I was in transition helped me work through it because I knew it was a sign I was almost done and I knew the emotions I was feeling of wanting drugs and feeling like I couldn't do it were the signposts of transition not that I actually wanted/needed help if that makes sense).

Anyone can do it if you want but there's nothing wrong with an epidural either- when it comes to birthing my personal opinion is that as long as a mom is educated on her options and can make an informed decision, whatever she decides whether it's natural, epi or c-section it's what's best for HER. If you want to do it- plan and prepare and you definitely can!

momofsweetps · July 2015

I had my first two with epidural and my last three without. I agree there is no way to compare the pain. For me staying ontop of my contractions, moving and music helps. Like a pp mentioned transition was the hardest for me and I thought I was going to lose it. However I was pushing right after that and it felt so much better. It seemed like I wasn't in a whole lot of pain until transition. I'm working on this time to get through transition and having dh encourage me what's happening because I felt like it was never going to end.

BeachBabe22 · July 2015

I was induced with pitocin when my labor wasn't starting on its own 24 hours after my water broke. I only experienced contractions after the pitocin so I can't compare them to contractions that start on their own. It was extremely painful as they upped the dosage I was receiving. There were a few times I said I thought I was dying and was in so much pain that I thought I couldn't handle it anymore. My mom and husband helped me through that and I focused on my baby being there soon. I tried to stay calm, focused on breathing through the contractions, and then it was time to push.

It didn't hurt to push it was just a strange feeling and a lot of pressure. Once she was out I felt so much better but I was also drained from how long it took from the time we got to the hospital until my daughter was born.

steph256 · July 2015

The shower helped me. I went from 5-8 cm dilated in 30 minutes from standing in it. I stood by my bedside and swayed back and forth. Take each contraction one at a time. They only let for a minute then you will get a real before the next one comes. Transition is the worst part and you will know when it hits. But it's also one contraction at a time and means you are right at the end. Having a great support person and nurse who is comfortable with natural birthing is so helpful.

ktbkitten · July 2015

I got an epidural but it didn't work. So, technically I got one, but not really. What surprised me was how much it burned while pushing. It honestly gave me motivation to get him out and give it all I had. I feel like if the pain was dulled I wouldn't have been able to push as productively. So my best advice is to use that pain, knowing that it is there to help get your little one out and that it is productive pain. Also try not to tense up, it doesn't help. Not easy though. Good luck.

ForeverEverAfter · July 2015

I had planned for a med free birth, and did well coping until transition. Nothing had prepared me for the intensity, and and I panicked and forgot everything I knew. DH kept asking what to do and I couldn't remember. I used nitrous to calm down then continued to have my baby. This time I've got a doula, so that she can remind me of things to try, like to change positions or give counter pressure, etc.

My suggestion is to prepare mentally for the birth (Birthing from Within is great, as is Natural Hospital Birth). But also to have a fully prepped support person who can help you with your pain control techniques.

TeacherMom210 · July 2015

Transition was definitely the worst, but by that point it's just about over (which is what I reminded myself). For me, keeping my focus on having the baby really worked, if that makes any sense. Sort of like "I have a job to do and I have to do it" mentality. Ditto the shower! When I was at home before going to the hospital, I was standing in the shower with the warm water going right down my bump. Felt so good I didn't want to get out to go to the hospital!

InesCH · July 2015

Planning for an unmedicated natural birth and these stories have been very helpful!

OP I'd also recommend looking into Hypnobabies-it's a great method to prepare yourself mentally for what's to come and teaches you helpful relaxation techniques

You also might want to look into getting a doula-ours has already had some great sessions with me and my husband-mainly explaining the process and teaching us optimal positioning techniques and relaxation methods.

Next up we will "rehearse" the actual birthing, which should be interesting! I am planning a water birth in hospital

KERJF · July 2015

It is really hard to describe the actual pain. It just hurts. A lot.

I just tried taking everything one contraction at a time and that helped, instead of worrying how far along I was. Familiarize yourself with pain management techniques - birthing balls, showers, tubs, tens unit, ect and see whats available for use.

My doula was my biggest help. Even for my DH - she helped me get through stuff but she also helped him know what to do - he said prior to the birth he didnt understand why we needed her but he openly said after that he was happy she was there. And he is happy shes with us again

beckygoetz93 · July 2015

The most painful part would either be the contractions toward the end or when the head is being pushed through. It's not long pain with the head but it is painful for ism maybe a minute. Moving was not something I wanted to do. I wanted to just lay there and breath through the contractions. I thought it was completely doable and was not as bad as some people say. Just know that it is only temporary. Also if you do it without an epidural you can get into different postions and feel when your body is telling you to push. Also you can get up and move right away and not have a catheter. All positives:) good luck!

str13 · July 2015

I recently had a *very* unexpected, unplanned natural birth. I just tried to breath through each one. I just focused on each inhale and exhale. However whenever I felt a contraction starting I would say, "oh god, oh god, oh god, oh god" over and over! Lol
I like the site Birthing Without Fear, and one thing that stuck with is "vaginas do open, babies do come out", it was my mantra!!

AriliO · July 2015

For me the pain isn't too bad overall. It's basically intense uterine cramps, they're more like *extreme discomfort* rather than oooh-burning-fire-something-is-broken pain. I have also had gallbladder stones and THAT is so much WORSE than labor, partly because it IS omg-something-is-wrong pain and because it doesn't let up, unlike contractions which come in little bits that you can handle. Also, contractions ramp up, at least for me. In the beginning it's just a tightening sensation, you know that labor's starting but you can go back to sleep or continue with whatever you're doing until they get stronger, and you can sort of ride that increasing intensity.

I found that in active labor, it helped me a lot to have an analog clock with a ticking second hand so that I could count the seconds of each contraction and know more or less when contractions were ending. I also do things like count stairs and steps and things like that, so breaking time or distance into measurements is pretty soothing for me. I would say that having a focal point, like other posters have mentioned, is really important because you can distract your brain from your body's discomfort, or at least convince yourself that each contraction won't last long (this is what I tell myself lol).

Transition is the hard part, where you're in the middle of a hormone whirlwind and things are pretty intense, and you're most likely to say, "nope, can't do this anymore, pack it up and let's go home, I am NOT having a baby today or ever!" That's okay, that's not actually YOU talking, that's your body's hormone soup playing with your brain and should actually tell you (if you can keep it in your mind) that you're getting close to the pushing stage. It doesn't last long though! You can talk yourself, and have your partner talk you through, that little loss of control. Just keep telling yourself that you CAN do it, you ARE doing it, and that your body's made to do exactly this, and you'll get through it.

The actual pushing part always feels so good and relieving to me. It feels so productive, and so right, and I know I'm really close to meeting the baby so it's exciting. The head crowning burns, for sure, but once the baby gets the wide part of her/his head through, the rest of baby just pops right out in a couple more pushes. I always get an adrenaline rush right at the end. I definitely support the right of every laboring woman to choose her own birth experience and there's nothing wrong with pain relief medication, but I love the endorphins that come at the end of delivery! The feel-good rush heightens the excitement of finally seeing my baby face to face. I'm a little sad that this will be my last child so September is the last time I'll get to experience labor.

Hopefully my novella is helpful to another woman out there sooner or later.

I'm not a crunchy granola type person at all, but if you go with an unmedicated birthing experience, it will be powerful and will change how you see your body forever. It's pretty amazing, imo.

bnwillia3 · July 2015

@AriliO THANK YOU!!! Reading your post was super empowering!! Thank you so much for sharing!!!

cuppylove · July 2015

I love these stories, keep them coming! They are definitely encouraging

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