Advice for balancing toddler and a newborn?

emmacake08 · July 2015

Hey you lovely ladies! I've been wondering about what it's going to be like to have a newborn in the mix with 19 month old LOs. Any BTDT moms have tips? I know a lot of it will be just figuring it out as I go, but I thought there would be some nuggets of wisdom here. Thanks mamas!

bpwife&mama · July 2015

Following. I have a 3 1/2 year old and would love any advice given.

Boslove · July 2015

Ditto! All advice is welcomed here, especially after DD (2yO) has been on 10 all day and trying to potty train

SassetteSmurfling · July 2015

DD was 25 months when DS was born. We just worked on preparing her a lot. Lots of books and shows with babies. (Daniel tigers baby is my fave!) Also lots of making her wait for things. Even if you are fully able to get up and get them a snack right now, tell them they have to wait 5 minutes. Doing this BEFORE baby is here is key.

Also just making sure the toddlers get their time too. And sometimes it's okay to make the baby wait (provided you know they're safe, obviously).

Accept help from anyone who offers.

Stephaniemariebuck · July 2015

DD1 was 2.5 when DD2 was born. I worked really hard to include her when I was doing anything with the baby (example: she helped me change diapers, whenever I was nursing she would get a book and I would read to her.) and like PP said, my husband ms I made sure to set aside time just for her. He would take her out to get ice cream and I'd take her to get her nails painted at the salon. She honestly adored her little sister and the transition was a lot easier than I thought it would be. Best thing to do is make sure she gets her own time with the parents. Best of luck!

MissusTexas · July 2015

Making them wait for things is a great idea- I need to start that.

I also had someone suggest making some snacks toddler-accessible so I made a bottom cabinet hers for a fruit bowl and her plates and bowls.

breezymeema7 · July 2015

DD1 was 18 months when DD2 was born. I'm not going to lie, the first couples months were really hard. I tried to include DD1 in everything I did with DD2 and make it into some kind of game. Example-diaper changes I would see how many diapers DD1 could stack in a pile before it tumbled over. When DD2 was napping I would put her down in her crib and close the door so DD1 and I could have special alone time. I was usually exhausted but I made sure to actually get down on the floor and play with her. That alone time with her helped fill her mommy tank when I was nursing DD2 and couldn't play. After a couple months you and the kids settle into a new routine and life will get a bit more normal. It's tough but so worth it when you see your children become best friends. You're a great mom, you'll do just fine

lethanne · July 2015

I have a 2.5 year old and will soon be welcoming our second. I'm scared to death now that it's getting closer. I hope we can handle it and still be great parents to both!

emmacake08 · July 2015

Thanks for the tips ladies! As always, they are very helpful. Now that it's finally getting closer to baby time, I'm thinking more about the details and it seems like it will be so hard to deal with two different routines and schedules. Thanks for the advice and encouragement!

Thj417 · July 2015

Mine will be 16 months apart... I tell myself this is not the first time moms have had babies close in age. I can do it too!!

saraheve23 · July 2015

Love this post! Thanks for all the great advice, I've been having some serious anxiety over this!

PurpleBookmark · July 2015

My DS was 2 years and 3 months old when DD came along. I second the Daniel Tiger baby episodes, they are really great. We also had some big brother books and he received a special big brother present at the hospital - matchbox cars. On DH's paternity leave he spent a lot of extra time with him. DS adjusted very easily, he was pretty uninterested until she was older and could interact more.

My DD will be 22 months when LO arrives and she is a completely different personality than DS. She loves attention and affection and is very much in the toddler hitting/screaming/kicking mode when she tantrums. I'm much more concerned this time than I was last time!

emmacake08 · July 2015

@SassetteSmurfling and @PurpleBookmark we love Daniel Tiger and baby Margaret. So sweet!

LilLee11 · July 2015

Great advice has been given but I'll add that when I'd sit down to nurse I always had a busy box I'd take out for DD to play with. I'd rotate them and they were only available while I was nursing.

Other piece of advice - watch how often you say "no don't do that, shhh the baby is sleeping, don't hold the baby like that, you're going to hurt the baby" etc etc I think we had DS home for 5 days when I realized we were saying these things too much. I think it's normal but you don't want the little one to end up resenting the baby. Hope that makes sense!

SassetteSmurfling · July 2015

emmacake08 said:
@SassetteSmurfling and @PurpleBookmark we love Daniel Tiger and baby Margaret. So sweet!

My kids want to name the baby "baby Margaret" lol love them!

lifeisapeach · July 2015

Love this thread! Thank you for asking!

emschmeid · July 2015

LilLee11 said:
Great advice has been given but I'll add that when I'd sit down to nurse I always had a busy box I'd take out for DD to play with. I'd rotate them and they were only available while I was nursing.

Other piece of advice - watch how often you say "no don't do that, shhh the baby is sleeping, don't hold the baby like that, you're going to hurt the baby" etc etc I think we had DS home for 5 days when I realized we were saying these things too much. I think it's normal but you don't want the little one to end up resenting the baby. Hope that makes sense!

What items did you include in the busy box? Were they special or high interest toys to develop a positive association with nursing? Or did you just pull from your regular toys and kept rotating? I love this idea, though! I also appreciate the reminder to speak thoughtfully. I try using soft voices and directive language with DS, and it's amazing how he responds to subtle language changes.

kettlekitten · July 2015

emschmeid said:

LilLee11 said:
Great advice has been given but I'll add that when I'd sit down to nurse I always had a busy box I'd take out for DD to play with. I'd rotate them and they were only available while I was nursing.

Other piece of advice - watch how often you say "no don't do that, shhh the baby is sleeping, don't hold the baby like that, you're going to hurt the baby" etc etc I think we had DS home for 5 days when I realized we were saying these things too much. I think it's normal but you don't want the little one to end up resenting the baby. Hope that makes sense!
What items did you include in the busy box? Were they special or high interest toys to develop a positive association with nursing? Or did you just pull from your regular toys and kept rotating? I love this idea, though! I also appreciate the reminder to speak thoughtfully. I try using soft voices and directive language with DS, and it's amazing how he responds to subtle language changes.

I was going to ask the same question.

I've bought a stack of activity books for DD, who loves doing stickers, drawing and puzzles. Hoping these can help occupy her while I'm nursing the baby. She also loves putting toys to bed and role play sort of things so I've bought a doctors kit that I thought she might like. Other 'busy' ideas would be appreciated though!

Good idea for a thread... I'll need all the help i can get!!

LilLee11 · July 2015

kettlekitten said:

emschmeid said:

LilLee11 said:
Great advice has been given but I'll add that when I'd sit down to nurse I always had a busy box I'd take out for DD to play with. I'd rotate them and they were only available while I was nursing.

Other piece of advice - watch how often you say "no don't do that, shhh the baby is sleeping, don't hold the baby like that, you're going to hurt the baby" etc etc I think we had DS home for 5 days when I realized we were saying these things too much. I think it's normal but you don't want the little one to end up resenting the baby. Hope that makes sense!
What items did you include in the busy box? Were they special or high interest toys to develop a positive association with nursing? Or did you just pull from your regular toys and kept rotating? I love this idea, though! I also appreciate the reminder to speak thoughtfully. I try using soft voices and directive language with DS, and it's amazing how he responds to subtle language changes.
I was going to ask the same question.

I've bought a stack of activity books for DD, who loves doing stickers, drawing and puzzles. Hoping these can help occupy her while I'm nursing the baby. She also loves putting toys to bed and role play sort of things so I've bought a doctors kit that I thought she might like. Other 'busy' ideas would be appreciated though!

Good idea for a thread... I'll need all the help i can get!!

Everything in the boxes were new items so they'd be exciting. I went to the dollar store and got new coloring books, crayons, stickers etc I also cut holes into a container for DD to put those little felt Pom balls into because it always took her a while to stuff them inside. You could also do pipe cleaners in a strainer which can help w motor skills depending on their age. Another thing I did was dye pasta diff colors (I had a lot of time on my hands apparently haha!) and put $1 store party favor toys mixed in. I made it into a game so that DD had to find all the trinkets and when her ice tray (or muffin pan) had a toy in each hole she knew she was done.

I hope those suggestions help! If you search busy box or quiet boxes on Pinterest I bet a bunch will come up

hollyberri · July 2015

Thank you so much for this thread, DD1 is 2.5 and we've worked really hard to get her to understand she has a little sister coming. I've been trying to make her wait for certain things just because I'm so sloooowww now, HAHA!

I'm definitely thinking that busy boxes will help, just crazy because we've been working so hard to declutter!

LilLee11 · July 2015

hollyberri said:
Thank you so much for this thread, DD1 is 2.5 and we've worked really hard to get her to understand she has a little sister coming. I've been trying to make her wait for certain things just because I'm so sloooowww now, HAHA!

I'm definitely thinking that busy boxes will help, just crazy because we've been working so hard to declutter!

I'm a major decluttererer (haha) but keeping them in thin plastic bins helps a ton. I could put them in our front closet on the shelf so they were out of the way.

Also, after having 2 I've learned to let go of a lot of stuff and one is being crazy organized. I'm still organized to a point but if a little clutter keeps my kids sane (and me) I'm ok with it. Unless it's my husband clutter. Then I'll cut him. Kidding...kind of

Good luck, you'll be fine!!

PuppyKitten · July 2015

I have a 14 month old and due with #2 on 8/15. My son doesn't talk yet but I've been trying to tell him about the baby in mommy's tummy. A few days ago I bought him a baby doll and every day we cuddle it and practice being gentle. Even though he picked the doll himself, he isn't that into it and slaps it's face a lot. *sigh*

We are also putting our first in pre-preschool in September. It's only 3 hours a day but at least I will get a break and he will be getting attention.

kettlekitten · July 2015

Thanks for the great ideas @LilLee11 - I need to get myself organised....

Suzanne237 · July 2015

@PuppyKitten same boat here 15 month old boy will be 16 months when baby girl arrives. He has no idea what's gonna happen.

Bought him a baby doll and yes he hugs it and stuff but also if he sees a truck or something he just drops the baby and moves onto that. Haha. I'll be interesting stressful but also fun so here go! Soon!

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