from STM to FTM

lovepj · July 2015

Bring a FTM I'm not sure what my baby /being a mom will teach me so let's hear it ladies! What have you learned and what advice do you give us first time mamas!
:x

Thj417 · July 2015

Patience. Remind yourself that baby is crying because something isn't right. It may take a million different tries to figure out what is wrong but you will get there.

KateDerek · July 2015

Trust your instincts. And enjoy it as much as you can - it goes so flippen fast!

bpwife&mama · July 2015

KateDerek said:
Trust your instincts. And enjoy it as much as you can - it goes so flippen fast!

Along these lines as well. Despite what you may think, you DO know what's best for your child. You will get tons of advice about how to raise your child, but in the end you know what's best. Trust what you feel.

prairiedreams · July 2015

Look after yourself. That old put on your own air mask before assisting others applies.

breezymeema7 · July 2015

"This too shall pass." There will be bad days, but I promise that the good days will always far outweigh the bad.

acgonzalez22 · July 2015

@breezymeema7 I second that! It's the best advice I was ever given by my grandfather. So much so that I have it tattooed on my ribs!

I am a FTM, but my mother says "Trust in yourself, you know your baby best." And don't forget to stop and take a deep breath, and begin again.

LilLee11 · July 2015

Long days, shorts years and this too shall pass. Just remember that everything is a phase.

I try to not judge but we all do it. The more kids I have the less judging I do and I'm so glad! For instance, before I had kids I thought kids on leashes at amusement parks was insane. Now I get it

lillyzmom · July 2015

Pretty much everything the pp said.

It goes by so fast, enjoy every second.

Remember everything is a phase and it will pass. Especially the sleepless nights and when they get to be a toddler and tell you they don't like you anymore.

You know what's best for your baby. Stick with your gut.

Shine2015 · July 2015

PPs have given great advice already. Here is some I didn't think of with my first that made life easier. Get a lingerie bag to wash all baby's socks, mittens and hats in. Keeps them all together so they are not all over the washer and dryer. Some advice given to me from a stm, if you have 2 close in age that are the same gender, when they are both potty trained make sure you buy them different character underwear. She didn't and she always had to check the tags to see who should get what causing wasted time.

amk013 · July 2015

I'm a FTM, but, one of my friends with kids told me, "the days are long but the years are short." I thought that was a nice thing to hear!

907_baby · July 2015

Be ready to throw anything you "know" about kids or parenthood out the window and start from scratch. Just because it worked well for someone else does not mean it will work for you and your kid (s). Find what will work for you guys, then be consistent.

Huler · July 2015

It's ok not to love every second! I've said this before, but I feel like there is so much pressure to put out there how awesome everything is and how much you are enjoying every second, esp. since people tell you to! Sometimes you will be frustrated, tired, wanting freedom, and just not enjoying motherhood -- and that's ok too, it doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you human.

MissusTexas · July 2015

Lower your cleaning and cooking standards for a while. Like, really lower them.

There WILL be times when you understand how people get the urge to shake a baby, and when you feel that way it's okay to lay LO down in the crib and walk away to regroup. They'll still be crying but it will give you time to cry, calm down, and try again when you're ready.

babyyyy3 · July 2015

Reading through these as a ftm.... For this board being a bunch of mean heads, I really enjoy how personal and loving every single response is. I have goosebumps from a few of these!

etoom09 · July 2015

Don't put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect! Things are not always going to go the way you want it to and some days will be really hard. Let your house be a mess if you need to, don't stress if baby isn't getting right into a schedule and remember to give yourself a break.

Boslove · July 2015

Everything PP said is 100% true - for me, I have no patience but still manage to be a loving mother to DD and crazy enough to be having DS. You will find energy and strength in ways you never imagined before to make it through sleepless nights/days.

Your priorities will change, friendships may change but you will be alright. Dont expect everything to be oerfect or by the book.

CaliforniaDream87 · July 2015

I didn't realize the amount of love that I would feel for someone else. Yes, I love my husband. But this is an entirely different love that you have NEVER experienced before. I was the most selfish person ever before having my son. I didn't have anyone depending on me so it was all about me. I remember my mom would laugh and say she was nervous to see what kind of mother I would be (knowing now she wasn't joking she was really concerned lol). I remember the moment DS came out and the nurse told my H he could cut the cord. The cord was kind of high up by DS face and I remember jumping and covering his little eyes because I was so scared that the blood that splats (tmi) from the cord cutting to spray into his eye-like deathly afraid. It was in that moment I knew I would be a good mother. Not perfect. Definitely not perfect. But I knew I would put him before anything or anyone and I would die trying to protect him.

Trust yourselves FTM's. You will do just fine because the love you will experience will outweigh any faults that you think you will have as a mother.

saraheve23 · July 2015

So many great responses! Although you should trust yourself as a mother, don't be afraid to ask for help. I've made such amazing mom friends after having my daughter and it was always so nice to realize that I wasn't alone in what I was experiencing.

benmel31 · July 2015

I agree with lower your standards and don't worry if you put off cooking, cleaning, laundry etc to just let your baby sleep on you. Those moments will not last forever so enjoy them while you can.

2ndtimemomy · July 2015

You will figure every thing out. Trust your instinct

puccagirl77 · July 2015

Living in the moment...when you are up at 2am and then again at 5am rocking and feeding, remember that soon enough you will long for the days of a tiny snuggly baby, so try to appreciate it.

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