people waiting in hospital while giving birth

eule1991 · July 2015

So... I found out the date today when they are gonna induce me due to my preeclampsia.
I called my dad and let him know how the baby and I are doing and when he's gonna be here.
He said he's gonna be at the hospital that day and will wait.
I told him not to, we don't know how long Its gonna take, we don't know if it might end up in a c-section Or if the baby has to go in the nicu.
My husband said why don't you let the people wait. They are excited too. I understand that but I think it's unnecessary. I'll definitely let them know when the baby is here and they can come visit us.
How do you handle it? Are you gonna have the waiting room full of people or are you gonna tell them to come when baby gets here?
I definitely don't want anybody in the delivery room except my husband.

chelseajeanene · July 2015

I'm not going to let anyone wait who isn't one of the babies grandparents, I think if they want to wait then they have that right to. Other family and friends I plan on telling them once he's here so we can have alone time before he gets bombarded

WDDCH · July 2015

Waiting at home or waiting at the hospital: they won't be allowed in to see baby until you give the go ahead. Let them wait there if they want.

mrstzouganos · July 2015

I was at a c section class last week and I asked the waiting room question, the nurse who was the instructor said if you are having a scheduled c section to have people come 1 hour after the start time, and if you are being induced to have your husband call or text people you want there (after the baby is born) when you are about 7-8 centimeters dilated, as induction labors can take a really long time, and so that they have time to get there and won't have to wait as long.
If I go into labor while my husband is at work my mom will meet me at the hospital (my aunt who lives 4 blocks away will bring me so my mom doesn't have to go back and forth) and will be there until he arrives and then she will go wait in the waiting room until my LO is born, if my husband brings me in (or if I have to be induced) then we don't plan on letting anyone know that we are in labor until about 5-6 centimeters and if they choose to come and wait they can.
I know our family can't wait to meet our little guy, so I'm pretty sure that I will have a waiting room full of people. I have family that lives not that far from the hospital and I have family that is far but all will be notified at the same time. My hospital is super strict on visiting hours so I kind of don't have a choice but to do it the way that they suggest.

Taekarate1978 · July 2015

I assume my mom and husband will be with me and anyone else will come after baby is born.

FinalyFound · July 2015

With DD we only called our parents just before I was about to start pushing. We'll do the same this time too.

AmandaNacora · July 2015

I think it's sweet your dad wants to wait, he's worried and excited for you. And it's probably his way of giving you support and being there if you need him. I wasn't going to have anyone come to the hospital or home until atleast a few days later but my younger brothers really wanted to come and wait. They agreed to visit for just a short time after baby comes then to give us space. Since we're really close I figured I would let them, who knows I may change my mind and be really happy they're their! Plus they know if I tell them to go get some food it's time to give me space with just baby and DH. It's the first baby in our family since my youngest brother was born so they're super excited. Anyways, it's def your choice but if you decide to let them stay and wait maybe agree on a set amount of time to see you and baby, or a code word to let them knows it's time to go?

eule1991 · July 2015

I just think it's unnecessary to wait there the whole time. Inducing sometimes takes 2 days or so. Its my first baby. I wanna figure out everything for myself first.
If I let my dad wait that means my husband's parents and younger sister wanna be there too.
I get they are excited too but I don't know how I feel after giving birth. I most likely don't want everybody there at the same time anyways.
I think they should just give me some space. Its not like they are not gonna be the first who get to see the baby first.

shaunnar053 · July 2015

FinalyFound said:
With DD we only called our parents just before I was about to start pushing. We'll do the same this time too.

This. This is exactly what me and DF plan on doing

.

shelbydd · July 2015

The only people that will be at the hospital will be my sister, husband, and mom, and they will be in the room while I am laboring. I don't really see the point in people sitting in the waiting room (only 3 people allowed in the room with me) my step dad and nephew are coming from Florida with my mom and sister (6 hour drive) but they'll be staying at our house and taking care of our dogs for us. I'm sure my sister in law and mother in law will make an appearance but not before the kid is here.

tpete12 · July 2015

I will be induced but I don't plan on telling my parents the date. My husband and I are quite private and don't want anyone at the hospital until we are ready. Once baby starts coming and things start getting serious, we will probably call our parents (they live 3-3.5 hours from the hospital). If they chose to come in great, if not they can see baby when we get home.

blondehairblueeyeditalianbaby · July 2015

With my first I had a very fast labor (4.5 hrs). I was totally oblivious that people were waiting. Once I had my son I found out that we had around 15-20 people in the waiting room. No one had to wait long bc we were only there for about 2.5 hrs before he was born. I don't care if they want to wait bc I can still decide when they come in and see baby. I let the grandparents come in and see baby while I was still in the delivery room but just for a min. Everyone else had to wait until I was settled into my recovery room. I found that visitors scatter pretty quickly when you tell them you need to nurse. If I felt like I needed space I just kicked them out to nurse. Haha

Beanpodbunny · July 2015

We are just going to sneak down to the birth center and then after it is all done and we are home we will call people and say "Guess what?!"

DChunt09 · July 2015

This time around things are very different.
For our first, I wanted it to be very private. I was induced and my plan was to contact people once our son was born and let them know they could come after X amount of time had passed, but we didn't want visitors to stay for long periods and we didn't want a bunch of people at once. It worked fine. No one was upset about it.
This is our third time and I pretty much don't care at all who is waiting or not waiting. My mom and mother in law are even going to be in the delivery room. lol Both of our entire families pretty much live within 30 minutes of each other and we are all very close. So, one big party this go round - opposite of the first.

Growingapepper · July 2015

I don't want anyone waiting around while I'm in labor. I know they just care and want to be supportive. But knowing your family is sitting in a waiting room bored and uncomfortable puts a lot of pressure on you to maybe allow visitors before you are actually ready. Like @Beanpodbunny said, I'm hoping I can just sneak on down to the birthing center and wait to call everyone until a few hours later or maybe even not until we are home and comfortable. I don't even have to worry about anyone showing up while I'm in labor since our families live across the country, but I don't even want to tell them when I go into labor because I will feel pressured to keep them updated. I don't want that. I want peace and quite, I don't want to think about how my mom has called 5 times to see if the baby is here yet or if everything is going ok. Not happening.

jen83mn · July 2015

I also will not be allowing anyone to wait in the waiting room. It's too much pressure, especially if labor takes awhile. Our families live within 10-20 minutes of the hospital, so they'll be getting a call once the baby is born and we'll then let them know what time they can plan on coming (we want to spend at least the first hour alone with baby and will probably wait to have visitors until we're moved to our postpartum room a few hours after baby is born). I probably will want to shower first too.

We're only having our immediate family visit at the hospital: parents and siblings. Friends can visit us at home in the weeks that follow. As a FTM, I don't want a constant stream of people visiting as I'm just getting to know the baby and learning how to breastfeed. That would just be too stressful, and I'm all about making it as stress-free as possible!

turntopage394 · July 2015

We register as anonymous when we have our babies. The hospital staff can't even tell them if you're in the hospital, let alone which room you are in or any other health information. I just find birth and the first few days to be a very sacred and intimate time. Anyone else being there would feel completely intrusive and inappropriate to me. There is nothing wrong with the girls who want the whole family to attend the birth, nor is there anything wrong with those of us who prefer privacy. The bottom line is speaking up and getting what you want out of the biggest day of your life. Tell your dad that waiting is not an option and that you'll call when you're ready. Better yet, do what we do and just don't even tell anyone you're in labor until afterward when you're ready for company. Much easier that way.

tpally6212 · July 2015

turntopage394 said:
We register as anonymous when we have our babies. The hospital staff can't even tell them if you're in the hospital, let alone which room you are in or any other health information.

I never knew you could or would have to do this. Even If you didn't register anonymously the hospital still shouldn't be telling anyone you are there. Usually when you go to visit you have to tell them who you're there to see because you know the person is there, you can't just walk up to the desk and say is xxx a patient here? They could never tell you that!

blondehairblueeyeditalianbaby · July 2015

tpally6212 said:

turntopage394 said:
We register as anonymous when we have our babies. The hospital staff can't even tell them if you're in the hospital, let alone which room you are in or any other health information.

I never knew you could or would have to do this. Even If you didn't register anonymously the hospital still shouldn't be telling anyone you are there. Usually when you go to visit you have to tell them who you're there to see because you know the person is there, you can't just walk up to the desk and say is xxx a patient here? They could never tell you that!

At our hospital they ask if it's ok to tell people you are there if they call or show up. You would have to give them permission first. I was fine with it but my friend told them no. Her MIL came and made a big fuss at the hospital after she got wind they were there and the hospital wouldn't confirm it.

tpally6212 · July 2015

blondehairblueeyeditalianbaby said:

tpally6212 said:

turntopage394 said:
We register as anonymous when we have our babies. The hospital staff can't even tell them if you're in the hospital, let alone which room you are in or any other health information.

I never knew you could or would have to do this. Even If you didn't register anonymously the hospital still shouldn't be telling anyone you are there. Usually when you go to visit you have to tell them who you're there to see because you know the person is there, you can't just walk up to the desk and say is xxx a patient here? They could never tell you that!
At our hospital they ask if it's ok to tell people you are there if they call or show up. You would have to give them permission first. I was fine with it but my friend told them no. Her MIL came and made a big fuss at the hospital after she got wind they were there and the hospital wouldn't confirm it.

I get the whole permission thing, and even saying you would like a call before letting a visitor up if its someone you don't want to see, the hospital can say no. But the while anonymous thing just seems so extreme. In your friends case, she should of just said yes but told them she wanted no visitors, that's a heck of a lot easier then trying to tell someone they aren't there when they KNOW you are... my MIL would kill someone lol but that's just me!

jbettles · July 2015

With my first, I wanted both sets of our parents at the hospital. My labor went much faster than we thought it would - we called my parents at 6 am (when I got my epidural) and they got there at 9:15 (they live almost 3 hours away) - baby was born at 9:41. His parents just live 45 min away from the hospital, we called them at 6 as well, and they were like, well ok, we are gonna go get breakfast, hit Walmart for some shopping, etc... And they ended up almost missing it, too!! They were all there but didn't see baby and me for a few hours, when I gave the ok. But hubby got to go out to the waiting room, show pictures, and tell them about it. That was something special for him to do while I had my first few moments of skin to skin and trying out bf'ing for the first time. If they know they will be sitting there awhile, I don't think it should pressure you to hurry or anything. I didn't know when everyone got there til it was all done, to be honest!!

With this baby, my mom has already asked if she could watch my 4 year old for us. She said she's happy to wait at the hospital if I want, or to sit at home with my daughter. She said that when she had baby #2 and 3, having someone watch her kids was more important to her than that person being there, and she wants to do it for me. Secretly I think she knows my daughter will be the first to meet baby boy, and thinks it'll get her foot in the door to be second, lol

grannah · July 2015

Having my mum and husband in the room and my dad says he will wait in the waiting room. He did this overnight with my niece and didn't get to see her in hospital as restricted visiting hours. I said this to him that I don't want him on plastic seats all night and then not get to meet little one and he said there is no chance of him being anywhere else! My Husband would like his parents waiting too if it's a suitable time (I'm not too keen on this) as I would prefer them to look after my dog!

OSULisa · July 2015

I think you can tell them you're at the hospital whenever you feel comfortable. I think it's silly to wait at the hospital the whole time, but if they know when you are going in and they want to I'd let them. They are able to decide how they want to spend that time.

thinkpink101 · July 2015

The waiting room at our hospital is tiny, and no visitors are allowed for the first two hours after the baby's birth (they want baby skin to skin without interruptions) so even if we had any family nearby (we don't) I wouldn't have them wait at the hospital. They also have visiting hours from 12-8pm but will make an exception and allow visitors outside of that time the day of the birth (but after the two hours). Have you checked with your hospital if they have rules?

Crook251 · July 2015

I have tons of family members waiting for the arrival of my daughter! I assume that family will want to be there to await her arrival as they have given lots of signs that they plan on waiting in the waiting room. If I'm indunced, my doctor will let me know when it's time, and I will contact everyone then because it will take them at least 30 mins to get to the hospital. Plus I figured I will get all the visitors out of the way so that I can rest and enjoy baby soon after.

RubyRed80 · July 2015

I had something similar happen to be when my daughter was born but it was with my MIL and best friend. I was grateful that everyone else waited until after I had the baby to come visit. My MIL however wanted to stay the whole entire time. One of my best friends that came from a cruise surprised me and came into my room and I was under epidural so I was in and out of sleep. I didn't even know she had stayed the whole time because she sat in the back of my room. My husband was there but I told him nobody comes in until after labor and when they put us in a room to be settled. Before I knew it everyone was in there and I screamed Bloody Mary for them to leave. My blood pressure shot up and the doctor told them they needed to wait outside.

joellenicole93 · July 2015

I Will have no one at the hospital except my fiancée. He's a I want in the delivery room and the only person in general I do not want to be swarmed with so many people because if you don't let one person go everyone gets so offended and I don't need that. I look at it as our time with our son we don't need people taking him from us.

Nehouston · July 2015

When we went on our hospital tour the nurse stressed to us how critical the first few hours are for skin to skin, nursing, and bonding. I would not rob myself, my husband and baby of that time in order to make my extended family happy. They can come visit in the following days, so there's no reason to have them wait.

puddinpop95 · July 2015

We learned with the birth of.our neice, that if u don't want people to wait a super long time, wait to tell them your in labor. Ultimately they will come.when they want to but DH and I decided we are waiting until.we actually get settled in our delivery room before telling anyone.

J0C0TX · July 2015

I don't have my family close by, but my in-laws do live very close by.

With dd1 my bff came by to visit as she was going out of town for a few days & wanted to check in before dd1 came. She stayed maybe 20 minutes and left just after I started vomiting profusely. DD1 was born via emergency section at 4.30pm. I got to see her, hubs got to hold her and then she was off to nursery to make sure whatever had happened with my fever spiking and causing the emergency situation didn't cause her any issues. In-laws saw her in the nursery, then came to visit me. Ugh. FIL took the time to needle me about SIL stuff. Not appropriate at all. I got to properly meet d1 at 9.30pm

With dd2 - scheduled section. Born at 8am. Up to room with me by 11am. Parents in law knew. Supposed to have quiet time at hospital between 2&4pm... around 2.30pm in-laws arrive in. Wake us up. Ugh. I asked did they want to hold her. Was told no. OK so!!!

This time I'm planning a little more... scheduled section again. noon. Expect to be in room by 4pm or so. Have friend picking up girls from school to bring to meet their brother and meet me, dh and baby there. DH is fine with this plan. Friend knows the daycare and school well for picking up and the girls LOVE her. I asked him if he's ok with the girls meeting their brother first. He is.

He's going to send a text to his parents announcing the arrival, say we're in recovery & will be for a while and he will let them know when it will be ok to stop by. If that works great. If it doesn't, dh will be pissed because they never seem to take what we need into consideration. So it'll be interesting.

surprisepkg31 · July 2015

It stresses me out to even think of ppl waiting to see me and baby right after such an intense life changing event! I don't understand it honestly. My MIL wants to be all up in it and we told her she wasn't going to be present for the birth and she let out a cry of disappointment! Lol ,I find it to be ridiculous to expect that. She comes into town this weekend for my shower and I am hoping I can get it out of her of what exactly she is expecting as she tends to get real passive aggressive if you don't address the frustration.

missliz53 · July 2015

My family and DH's family have absolutely no respect for our wishes, so except for my mom who is staying with the pets, we aren't telling anyone until after the baby gets here and we also aren't telling anyone what hospital we are at since they will just show up regardless of what we say. It sucks that that's the way it has to be, but that private time with just baby and DH is really important to us both. Right now, I don't want any visitors in the hospital and probably not for the 1st week since I have about a 90% chance of a c-section and lack of privacy will be the biggest obstacle for breast feeding.

jabeauty90 · July 2015

This is my SOs first baby but my third, all his family wants to be there. I told him they can wait in the waiting room but don't expect to see the baby for about two to three hours after birth. I want bonding with our little family, a shower, baby cleaned, first nurse and my other kids to see baby first.

Mevi13 · July 2015

I'm reading all these different plans, many stressing the importance of privacy (which is wonderful), and all I can think about is how much it hurts knowing my mom may not be there. I'm a FTM, and this is my parents first grandchild. I really, really want my mom in the delivery room with me, but they live 6 hours away. My parents are planning on being on "standby mode" in the 2 weeks before I'm due, and I'm calling as soon as labor starts and praying they make it. The ONLY upside to having GD is that if I need to be induced, I can let them know. MIL lives much closer, and will hopefully not have a problem making it regardless. As far as everyone else, I've told them not to worry about coming until after baby does, but if they choose to wait, oh well. I'm not going to worry about it until we're ready for visitors.

Sorry that went a bit off-topic, the discussion just hit home with how much I want my family there.

dmland17 · July 2015

I've accepted the fact that people will be waiting around, but forewarned them that it will be a while after baby's birth before they get to see her. And even then, it will be according to who I see fit and when. I don't think a lot of people in my parents' generation realize skin to skin and a private hour or two of bonding time is customary these days. They're still accustomed to the idea of popping the baby out then dad trotting the baby out to see the waiting family.

nikkidavis421 · July 2015

I plan for it to just be DH and I at the hospital while I deliver. My mom will have our two kids (if they're not in school/at daycare) and they are the first people I want to visit so I will let them come after the baby is born. My mom isn't the type to want to wait around in the waiting room so it won't be a huge deal. Then we'll start telling other family members when they can come visit depending on the time of day that the baby is born and how we're all feeling. My mom is the only living grandparent and the only other immediate family we have in the area is my sister & brother, DH's brother and my grandma so it won't be too difficult to coordinate visiting times for everyone.

J0C0TX · July 2015

Mevi13 said:

I'm reading all these different plans, many stressing the importance of privacy (which is wonderful), and all I can think about is how much it hurts knowing my mom may not be there. I'm a FTM, and this is my parents first grandchild. I really, really want my mom in the delivery room with me, but they live 6 hours away. My parents are planning on being on "standby mode" in the 2 weeks before I'm due, and I'm calling as soon as labor starts and praying they make it. The ONLY upside to having GD is that if I need to be induced, I can let them know. MIL lives much closer, and will hopefully not have a problem making it regardless. As far as everyone else, I've told them not to worry about coming until after baby does, but if they choose to wait, oh well. I'm not going to worry about it until we're ready for visitors. Sorry that went a bit off-topic, the discussion just hit home with how much I want my family there.

My mom lives 4,000 miles away and was never going to be there for any of my kiddos births (I had their first & this will be their last... my sisters are done). You know. It's ok too. It's nice to have the time for you your husband and baby. Really. Focus on what you will have and don't worry about what you might miss out on. Babies have a way of proving to us we have no control over anything and as much as you may want something, you may need something else... I probably sound weird to you. Believe me - I miss my mom all the time, but... I know she is with me in spirit and it will all be fine. For you too!

ehgmorse · July 2015

I know it's not directly about waiting but honestly I don't want anyone in the room when I'm actually delivering other than doctors and nurses. I had got sent to L&D last week and my mom was with me in the room and I was more uncomfortable with her there giving me internal exams and having everything out. I know she will be upset and hurt to not be in there but just based on that I was more stressed than I needed to be. I get my mom and dad will want to wait but I really don't want all my uncles and aunts and grandparents waiting around. I'm going to want alone time with him at first and time to clean up before people rush into my room to see him. I have a very loving and supportive family but they can be very overbearing at times. I know they mean the best but it's just not something I want or feel comfortable with. My mom is a grude holder and I don't want her holding this grude over me with not having her be in the room to deliver. So I kind of feel stuck.

Willow1400 · July 2015

We've decided to make calls probably an hour or so after the baby is born. Mom has said she will just sit in the waiting room for as long as it takes but I know that as soon as I know someone is there I will be preoccupied and feeling like I should invite them up and we really want a couple of quiet hours with just us and the baby.

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