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November 2015 Moms
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What do you say to that?!

JStill0603JStill0603 member
in November 2015 Moms
I know there's a things my MIL says thread but there is this one lady at work who keeps commenting on how big I am. My MIL is the only other lady to comment on "how far I'm sticking out there" but this other woman won't let it go. One of my other coworkers told her, in front of me, about two weeks ago how rude she was being and how I'm growing a human inside me. But yesterday she says "I know you don't want me to say anything so I won't but my oh my!" Then makes a "bump" motion over her belly and just stares at me! She's older, maybe 60ish, and has children and grandchildren. Her comments are so offensive!
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Re: What do you say to that?!

  • modanz1modanz1 member
    That's so rude, especially since it's been brought to her attention.  I don't know what your work environment is like but can you start commenting on her belly?  Or just shoot her a quick, "Not looking so slim yourself there!" with a smile?
    YCSWU 



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  • JStill0603JStill0603 member
    I'm her boss.
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  • nmwheel1nmwheel1 member
    Pull her in to a meeting and tell her inappropriate comments in the workplace will not be tolerated. Bring HR to the meeting as well to really the drive the point home. The fact you are her boss and she still makes the comments is pretty crazy. I wouldn't write her up or anything that extreme but a meeting might be what you need.
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  • ajmm886ajmm886 member
    I would also set up a meeting with her and HR those comments are not appropriate! I work in customer service and had a regular customer come up to me when I was about 18w and said that I shouldn't be as big as I am already. That there must be something wrong. I freaked out in her. I have a small torso so baby has no where to go but out. I have only gained 10 pounds and I am 23w now. My boss didn't care that I freaked out on her, and now when she comes in she keeps her mouth shut. People can be so rude!
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  • scw89scw89 member
    That's an HR issue, and she can totally get in trouble for harassment. That is legit harassment. And you don't even have to sit her down, you can take it to your boss
    Pregnancy Ticker


    YCSWU
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  • CarrieOct15CarrieOct15 member
    What PPs have said - this is an HR concern. She knows it makes you uncomfortable, yet she continues to comment on your appearance. Have you had a discussion with her yourself? Not that it's required of you, but that's how I would handle the situation. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • Ceridwen77Ceridwen77 member
    edited July 2015
    Why are you not having a private conversation with her about this? I have a staff and if anyone was doing this it would be grounds for an immediate conversation. That's just unprofessional behavior and if she's saying those things to you, I can't imagine what she may be saying to her peers.
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  • HellsAngel22HellsAngel22 member
    Ceridwen77 said:

    Why are you not having a private conversation with her about this? I have a staff and if anyone was doing this it would be grounds for an immediate conversation. That's just unprofessional behavior and if she's saying those things to you, I can't imagine what she may be saying to her peers.

    THIS...^ If I was the boss i would definitely be pulling her aside & telling her how inappropriate she is being in the work place.
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  • 3JTMom3JTMom member
    I agree with the pps. Could she be intentionally trying to make you uncomfortable? Everyone carries their baby differently. It really is neither here nor there, definitely not something to make a big deal about. She really needs to be confronted friend. Sorry. Congrats on your LO.
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  • turkeybabtturkeybabt member
    Being in position that you have your MIL working with you- whether if you're the boss or not, she needs to know where the professional line is, meaning respecting you as a professional in workplace. She is wrong.
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  • JStill0603JStill0603 member
    Oh sorry, my MIL is not the offender in question, it's an employee of mine. My MIL is the only other person to comment on how large I am.

    Thanks guys, you're right I think I should pull her aside and let her know that type of behavior won't be tolerated. I guess it just took me by surprise the last time because before that I had said something to the effect of "Geez between you and my MIL telling me how large I am..." And then another employee told her off about how rude she was being. So I figured that would be enough for her to decide not to say anything any more. We all work in a very close environment and it is mostly women so when something happens (ie disciplinary action of any type) word spreads like wild fire. Ugh.
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  • hammy_711hammy_711 member
    Well, if she would say it to her boss, wouldn't she say it to other co-workers?  It is your responsibility in this case to alert her that this is unacceptable behavior.  You woulnd't want to have to deal with this if someone else puts in a complaint against her.  She needs to be educated on proper work conduct.

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