Single Parents
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In need of some advice.

I'm married. And I'm 12 weeks. Since we found out my husband been moody, not willing to discuss what goof to happen. He refuses to help at all with stuff at home. Won't even bother to learn to cook. Help with the animals, even do a dish or sweep the floor. He just bitches all the time how I'm not making money. How he works 5day away from home. And then a few days off. On his days off he sits on his ass. Goes to vape shops and builds his toys. No interested in talking about the baby, learning or reading about stuff with the baby, no interest in the cat and dog, tells me to make breakfast lunch and dinner plus do dishes plus take the garbage out and everything.

He now has decided on his own he's taken a job where he's gone for 2 weeks. Refuses to let me move closer to friends and family for support, won't even leave me bus fair to get to my groups and appointments.

He yelled at me for like 12 hours through text and phone one day. And I blocked him because I was so upset I was crying and puking. So he called his mom to bitch me out.

So basicly I'm asking am I over reacting ? Or do I have grounds to put my foot down and leave. I can't handle him not being involved and not caring. It's not fair to me to have to do everything on my own, well he takes his 10 hours a day and shits on his ass. Weather he's home or not. I'm so torn!

Re: In need of some advice.

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    Run.  Run far and fast.  Get out of there.

    That is not healthy.  If he's acting like this around you while you're pregnant, just imagine what it will be like when the baby arrives.  What kind of "man" asks his mother to bitch out his wife because he bitched her out to the point of blocking him so he couldn't do it anymore?  He won't let you go to your appointments, or basically leave the house?  Run. Just run. Leave. Seriously. You are NOT overreacting, he may try to manipulate you to think that you are, but you're not.  He wants things to be his way all the time always, that's not what a relationship is.  Especially not one with a baby. 

    Was he this controlling before you found out you were expecting?  Or has he been like this for a long time?
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    @20thirteen no he wasn't like this.

    Jut after I posted this, I had to call a ambulance because I was puking so much, and was having a bad anxiety attack.

    When I got there I spoke to a lot of people. And I posted something yes I maybe shouldn't have on Facebook. Him and his cousin freak out on the post. Making me feel even worse. I told him that if I couldn't calm down the doctors feared for the baby's life. Him and his cousin still continued. I have medical issues and off a lot of my meds, so it's even harder to find work. But apperently I'm lazy and don't do anything about it, and basicly the end result left me feeling like once the baby was born it would be taken from me by his family and I would be gone out of the picture.

    I got home. Was calm and he kept messaging me yelling at me on Facebook, still till up till this morning. When I woke up I found him in the house, I thought great he's her to talk this out like adults.

    Long story short he fb messaged me saying I was a child and he wanted a answer right now about a divorce, and he left. He hasn't been here since. I've told him I won't talk to him unless it's calm and in person. I told him he's not welcome at the house. He said great I'll take all the food, everything else I have and you can pay me back for the 6 months of rent. So I called my landlord aka my mom. She said he pays rent it's his place and I will have to leave till the devorice is final.

    So needless to say I've been in bed. Haven't moved except to have a bath and make soup. I'm still crying day 6 now. I started smoking again (I know it's not good for the baby) and I basicly feel like I have no options. I get 600$ from income assitance and my rents 485. I have no food except meats, and canned soup which is good but I want some potatoes and fresh veggies cause that's what I like to eat. Not just plain meat and canned soup. He also threatened to take the air conditing and all the fans. My dog and cat. Basicly everything. I want to leave. But I just can't afford too. I'm not allowed to change the locks and if I call the cops he said he will tell them I'm attempting suicide and have me put away. I have no friends or family here.


    It's just such a shitty situation.
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    Find a women's shelter in your area.  You can go there.  You need to go there.  They can keep a roof over your head and while you're there, you can search for subsidized housing.  You need to leave that situation. DOCUMENT HIS BEHAVIOR TOWARD YOU and leave.  If you can prove he was putting your emotional and physical health in jeopardy, they can't "take the baby away".  They might award some kind of custody, but if they fear he will run off with the baby, I'm sure it would be supervised.  

    There are so many resources out there to help you, and I really want to push you to utilize those resources.  Subsidized housing, subsidized childcare, WIC, allkidscovered.com (health insurance), TANF, SNAP... You haven't mentioned any kind of physical abuse but the emotional abuse will get worse, it might lead to something physical, which is why I'm urging you to leave. You need to feel safe, and you can't with him acting the way he is.  Especially while he's bringing his family in to treat you the way he's treating you.  Please, please, please, please find a women's shelter, RUN (don't walk) there.  Tell them you need help, tell them what he's doing, they can help you.  This situation is not ok, what he's doing is not ok, how he's acting is definitely NOT OK.
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    Ok! Thanks. I've spoken to some to my doctor and social worker. I'm working woth them for finances. It's stressful tho. He showed up last night and started shit again. I just went to bed. I was saying anything to get him to stop ! Even if it was lies. I just wanted him to go away. Im at the place I nanny at right now.

    Hopefully he will be gone when I get home. But he refuses to leave.
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    Good luck, mama.  Sending love your way!  I hope you can get out of that situation very soon! <3
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