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April 2015 Moms
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Families being overwhelming

jaxson41315jaxson41315 member
in April 2015 Moms
hey Ladies,

Does anyone have an issue with their family being overwhelming when it comes to seeing the baby? My situation may be different. My husband and I currently live in an apartment off my parents house. Every time I bring my son out there is always a scene. For example " oh there's my gorgeous grandson ( in a baby voice) or " hi pook" or " let me see my baby" - I love my parents but for some reason it annoys me. Maybe it's BC I'm the type who doesn't use baby voices. And everyone is always hovering over him. Does anyone else deal with this? Am I over reacting?
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Re: Families being overwhelming

  • alvarez7285alvarez7285 member
    I feel the same way with my in laws they live an hour away so when they do see him they're constantly in his face and I get it they miss him but with everyone in his face talking to him all at once baby gets pretty overwhelmed and then very fussy and its me who has to calm him down so it is very annoying if they could back off a little it'd be fine but I feel you!
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  • apbauer0615apbauer0615 member
    Yesssss my in laws were over last night & my twins were playing on the mat. They get down in their faces & start with the baby talk. Uh it irks me so much! Babies started whining & my MIL was like oh they want to be picked up. No they want you out of their faces!
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  • smilesallaroundsmilesallaround member
    I can't stand it when my mom says "there's my baby"..... um no he is my baby!

    When we visit my grandma she is always hovering and trying to take control. She hates him being swaddled so she will always undo the swaddle even if he is sleeping. And one day while I was breastfeeding him she came and stood over me and was staring at him. It was so awkward!
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  • jaxson41315jaxson41315 member
    Right!? I'm glad to know other moms feel the same way. Don't get me wrong I love my parents and family but they need to know when to back off a bit! I feel so awkward saying something - esp to the " there's my baby" comment. It just irks me!! Have any of you ever said anything about the baby talk? Or addressed it?
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  • smilesallaroundsmilesallaround member
    @jaxson41315 when my family says "there's my baby," I resound with oh you mean my baby? They are slowly stopping that.
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  • Pix3llePix3lle member
    My partner is from a big family and i get really stressed going around there because everyone 'has' to hold him, almost like it's a competition. I don't like him being passed around like that, especially because it seems to unsettle him.
    They also do the 'my baby' thing which does bug me a bit.
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  • jaxson41315jaxson41315 member
    I know my son is 3 months old and I thought that it would die down a bit but it still keeps happening everytime.
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  • ewilson74ewilson74 member
    Child-directed speech, aka Motherese, is found the world over. Very few cultures don't use it. Though linguists don't all agree, there is evidence that it helps with language acquisition.
    Interestingly my 3.5 year old nephew instinctively used Motherese with my son.
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  • alissapaloozaalissapalooza member
    My parents do just fine with the baby. It's my mothers friends who want to see her. One women even ripped my DD out of my grandmothers hands. I asked for my DD back because she was hungry and the women told me she was fine and walked away. I was fuming. I hate when she is passed around because it upsets her but people don't seem to mind...
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  • jatam97jatam97 member
    Just stick up for yourselves remember your the mother. Everyone might be a little thrown off the first the first time you say something but you just have to remember you have your child's best interest in mind.
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  • slipsintotheseaslipsintothesea member
    Yes! My mil drives me nuts. She drops the passive aggressive comments about how I am while she holds my son. The other day when she was over my son was cooing and making noises to me and I said "hi baby". She got in his face and said "oh, do you even get to hear your name or are you just baby." It's constant crap like that.
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  • azadirazadir member
    Haha my in laws comment that they came to see the baby and ask 'why is the play mat out but there's no baby' when they have come 1.5 hrs later than expected... And then they cheer and celebrate when our baby wakes up after say 30 min of me trying to settle her!! It used to really irritate me but I just keep reminding myself they are just simple but kind hearted people... definitely simple!
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  • brncntry316brncntry316 member
    HA! My mil for sure is the overwhelming and crazy one. She's told me many times how I should be parenting. And when she babysits him and I give her detailed instructions, she says "OK" and then I come to find she just does whatever the heck she wants. It's like she doesn't respect me as a mom. I went over detailed instructions for when she babysat my son and she flat out told me no she wasn't going to do it that way, that she didn't care what anyone said, she just wasn't going to do it. She does the baby talk too and she does it when he's super tired and I have to literally tell her to leave him alone because he is trying to sleep! Yes she raised 3 kids.... But it was 30 years ago and this is not her child!!
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  • madicakesxoxomadicakesxoxo member
    Same here! It gets annoying because they just want him to sit there and be quiet while they pass him around and when he starts to get tired of being held or gets hungry MIL will walk him around the house and do everything to try not to give him to me. Even though I tell her he's just hungry aka give him up! Then she says things to him like "oh stop it you're not gonna starve" and can't believe he eats every 2.5-3 hours at 3 months. She also calls him spoiled because he isn't happy just sitting in her lap and likes to be walked around
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  • madicakesxoxomadicakesxoxo member
    Even though he's bf and I tell her it's actually normal for a bf baby to eat that often. She must have forgotten cause she should know, she bf all of her kids!
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  • borgie05borgie05 member
    My mom was bad about the unsolicited advice at first... she was bossy about it even. I distanced myself from her a bit and I think she got the hint. My in-laws haven't met him yet. They live in different states and no one has come out. It kind of bothers me, especially because my BIL announced that he has twins on the way literally right after my son was born. It kind of stole my son's thunder, because ever since then my MIL has been gushing about the twins non-stop and about how she plans to travel to visit them as soon as they are born. It's almost like my son's birth was old news the moment I had him. Like she was excited for a day and then was over it. She did send gifts, which was nice, but I would much prefer they make the effort to meet him. He will be meeting my husband's side of the family next month after he turns 4 months old, but that's only because we are going out there.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • G33KM0MG33KM0M member
    I'm right there with you ladies. My in-laws totally stress me out. My DD hasn't taken to my MIL and fusses almost every time she picker her up. My MIL has taken to saying "let's see if Mimi can makes you cry" before picking her up. Also my MIL and SIL make me feel like DD is a needy baby bc she gets upset when everyone is all up in her space. The thing is that DD is fine at pretty much everyone else's house.
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