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February 2016 Moms
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Nervous to Announce to Family

MamaQ16MamaQ16 member
in February 2016 Moms
This is SO ridiculous, I'm 28 years old and have been married for 3 years and yet I'm nervous to tell my parents and older sister! I'm the baby of the family by a lot (16 years!) so maybe that has something to do with my nerves?! Anyone else have a similar experience or any advice? I'm dying over here! TIA
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Re: Nervous to Announce to Family

  • cognity8cognity8 member
    I was incredibly nervous to tell MIL... I still swear her tears were not happy ones :(

    Good luck!
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  • bbax44bbax44 member
    I got lectured foreverrrr by my own mom, I'm an only child so her first grandchild. Little disappointed about that, but she hates kids, they ruin lives apparently. I haven't told any other family members or his parents yet. Waiting for that 12 week appt to check on things again. I'm SO nervous in fear of a reaction like my moms. I just want people to, especially my family to be happy for me after 2 losses this is kind of a big deal to me
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  • KaitM5KaitM5 member
    We have only told a handful of people, no parents yet. Just tonight I was with a few of "our people" who know I'm pregnant and my mom (who doesn't) and it came up about making another baby and my mom said "oh no, she isn't ready for another"

    Kinda justifies our reasons for not sharing the news right away. This will be our 3rd baby, older sisters will be almost 4 and 2.5 when this one arrives. Yes it's a lot, but we're married and stable adults... we can handle this :)
    needless to say, I'm so happy we live across the country. Just have to get through 10 more days visiting without spilling the beans in person. Then I can go home and turn into my blimpy-pregnant self!!!
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  • bbax44bbax44 member
    lauren0571 said:

    bbax44 said:

    I got lectured foreverrrr by my own mom, I'm an only child so her first grandchild. Little disappointed about that, but she hates kids, they ruin lives apparently. I haven't told any other family members or his parents yet. Waiting for that 12 week appt to check on things again. I'm SO nervous in fear of a reaction like my moms. I just want people to, especially my family to be happy for me after 2 losses this is kind of a big deal to me

    I am so sorry this is your mothers reaction.
    Please, don't mind if I rant for a second. This really has nothing against your mother and it's just my own personal pet peeve.
    I can't stand when people say things like "kids ruin lives". I got this a lot when I was pregnant with my first.
    I get it. Kids aren't for everyone and you shouldn't have them if you don't want them. However, I am SO over seeing all these posts on social media about how terrible kids are and how much happier people are without kids. I don't feel like having a kid is some death sentence on living life and I always hated when people made me feel that way when I was pregnant with my first.
    I just spent an afternoon riding a scooter with my two year old on his tricycle. Without him I would have probably been inside doing laundry (what a waste of a beautiful day).
    So please, just because your mother feels that way does not make it a reality. Congratulations on your pregnancy and to a lifetime of happiness raising a great person!
    I agree completely with you. It seems like everyone is making me believe my life is over and now I can't do anything or go anywhere all because I'm having a baby. And I don't want that negativity around me, that's sort of hard when it's your own mom.. and I'm an only child. And i think her reasoning is because she had me when she was 16, and she's never been married. So she's a partier and always has been, so in her eyes, a baby did ruin her life. And I'm in no way trying to make an excuse for her saying those things to me.
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  • hlmdeckhlmdeck member
    It's not the same as parents disapproving, but recently DH and I went to dinner with some VERY close friends we have known for years, and the guy who introduced us, the best man in our wedding, said "I hope you're not having kids anytime soon" to DH. Luckily I didn't hear it and I spilled the beans as planned about 5 minutes later. I like to imagine he wanted to cram his stupid thoughtless foot in his mouth afterwards.
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  • kayladanielle93kayladanielle93 member
    I was incredibly nervous to tell my in laws- i started crying and my husband had to tell them for me. Not really sure why, I think I was afraid theyd be disappointed as we had wanted to wait a little longer since my husband just started a new career.

    My family I didnt really want to tell. BUT Id told close friends and my husband made me feel guilty for leaving them out. They're loud mouths and cant keep a secret- they didnt understand the whole waiting for the 2nd trimester. Now that weve got a scare and are having to go through genetic counseling Im glad I stuck to my guns and as little people know as possible in case this doesnt turn out favorably.
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  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat member
    Your mothers sound awful! I'm so sorry you had to hear that! I told my mom last night and did not get the reaction I was expecting. I thought she was going to be upset since I'm not married, but she loves my SO and she's happy for us. I haven't told my almost 19 year old son, though. I'm really scared of how he's going to react, but he'll probably just shrug his shoulders since it doesn't affect him anyway.

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  • FLsquirrel80FLsquirrel80 member
    I'm nervous about telling my mom because she and I had a girls only cruise planned for April of next year. She has been looking forward to this cruise for months already. I hate to tell her that now I won't be able to go. Hopefully she will be so excited about the baby news that she won't be mad.
    Me - 35   Hubby - 38 
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  • AlliwilkersonAlliwilkerson member
    I was so nervous to tell my parents and in laws. My husband ended up telling his parents alone and I just awkwardly blurted it out to my parents. They were all happy for us thankfully, but I'm such a bashful person and we weren't planning to have kids for a few more years so I'm really not excited about telling anyone. My next hurdle is telling my grandparents and I'm just as nervous about that, if not more, than I was about telling my parents. I know they'll be excited, and my bashfulness is totally the problem. I'm just really so nervous for no reason at all and I feel ridiculous about it.
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  • AlliwilkersonAlliwilkerson member
    edited July 2015
    :\">
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  • robinj716robinj716 member
    Yes! I felt nervous to share too.

    After reading these posts I must say, that it is really is a shame that society has made us all feel the need to explain our situations and why being pregnant is ok.

    We should just be able to say "we're expecting!" Without having to follow up our statements with "it's ok because we've been married or are engaged or are stable or have jobs, etc."

    It's unfortunate that Society has really made us all feel we need to justify ourselves.

    Congrats to all! This is exciting and I hope you all can start to be excited about sharing! Just try to keep in mind: nobody is living your life for you. To hell with what they think!
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  • sweetpea216sweetpea216 member
    Yes! I have been dreading telling my parents and I'm 29. I knew they would be upset because I'm not married.  My bf and I have been together 2.5 years and I have known since the beginning that I wanted to start a family with him. He took me ring shopping a few months ago and I told my mom so she was expecting that to be the next big news from me.  What she didn't know is that I stopped taking my birth control back in November.  I had an ultrasound today and since everything looked great (yay!), I figured it was time to tell.  I called them today and said I had some news and she goes "when's the wedding??" I was like, uhhhh, so that's not the news but I really hope you guys can be happy about it. My mom said "Oh. My. God.  You're pregnant." I said yes. She said "ok....." and after a long awkward pause she said congratulations. Then started the 'we need to get married first' lecture. Oy. She was trying to get me to pick a date and start planning the wedding.  I told her that's just silly seeing that he hasn't proposed yet.

    It honestly went better than I expected, but it's still SO frustrating that my pregnancy isn't validated because I'm not married. We are really excited so I absolutely hate that I have been this worried about telling them. Luckily, we also told some family on both sides today that was really happy for us.  
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  • bcampo0118bcampo0118 member
    I am 29 and married for 2 years and was STILL scared to tell my mom lol. I had to break the ice differently with my mom. Took her 3 days to "process" and now she is super excited.
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  • inomniaparatusinomniaparatus member
    bcampo0118 said:

    I am 29 and married for 2 years and was STILL scared to tell my mom lol. I had to break the ice differently with my mom. Took her 3 days to "process" and now she is super excited.

    I'm so confused as to why it took her a while to come around. There's nothing controversial there - you're married and 29!
    I'm happy for you that she's happy now though!

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  • mrsboom091011mrsboom091011 member
    Yes! My husband and I are traveling 7hrs home to tell our folks this weekend. I'm very nervous!
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  • balancedinnovationbalancedinnovation member
    As I posted in a different post - H is 20 years my senior. Although my family will be happy, loving and supportive... I am pretty sure his will be judgmental about it due to the age difference, particularly his age. 

    I figure, neither of us planned or anticipated this, we both chose life and we both are looking forward to this and are currently happy with the situation - therefore others can share in that or they can choose not to. If they choose not to, that is fine, but if comments start spewing, negative ones, I will distance myself and relish in the happiness others provide and share with us. We are both adults, we are married and we made the decision - we aren't asking others to raise our child and we surely don't need others to parent us. 
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  • Adyer7Adyer7 member
    I got married at 19 so really everyone's been waiting for us to announce this for 8 years! I was rightfully nervous to tell some of my extended family members just because of the awkward comments though! "Ohhh so that's why your boobs are really big" that's an exact quote from my Uncle. AWKWARD!

    Honestly though, who doesn't love babies?! I'm sure your parents will be thrilled to be grandparents. I tried to make that the focus when telling my parents.
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  • Adyer7Adyer7 member
    bbax44 said:

    I got lectured foreverrrr by my own mom, I'm an only child so her first grandchild. Little disappointed about that, but she hates kids, they ruin lives apparently. I haven't told any other family members or his parents yet. Waiting for that 12 week appt to check on things again. I'm SO nervous in fear of a reaction like my moms. I just want people to, especially my family to be happy for me after 2 losses this is kind of a big deal to me

    I'm so sorry! I hate when parents reflect their own issues on their children. Congratulations!!
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  • bbax44bbax44 member
    Adyer7 said:

    bbax44 said:

    I got lectured foreverrrr by my own mom, I'm an only child so her first grandchild. Little disappointed about that, but she hates kids, they ruin lives apparently. I haven't told any other family members or his parents yet. Waiting for that 12 week appt to check on things again. I'm SO nervous in fear of a reaction like my moms. I just want people to, especially my family to be happy for me after 2 losses this is kind of a big deal to me

    I'm so sorry! I hate when parents reflect their own issues on their children. Congratulations!!
    Thank you! I will never understand her reaction. She ignored me for weeks, and still isn't happy about it but she's being civil with me at least. She knows I've had ultrasounds and hasn't even asked to see a picture or anything. Who knows, she'll get over it one day...maybe.
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  • AussiechickaAussiechicka member
    I told my Mum early on and she replied with "well it's still early days, don't tell too many people" um thanks for the positivity there! H told his parents last night (via text as she never answers her phone) and his Mom hasn't said a single thing despite responding about something else.
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