Sad hubby?

Re: Sad hubby?

• mnbando member

  July 2015

  My husband had PPD with our first. I would talk to him about how he is feeling. There could be issues you are unaware of. For us, what worked best was going to a therapist. He was able to sort out issues that were personal to him and what was from our relationship. Just be aware he might get defensive if you suggest he seek help. If you think it is serious (where he might hurt himself or others), try to get him help as soon as possible. Best of luck, hope things get better soon.

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• mrswynn2014 member

  July 2015

  My DH has been down too, buts it's because of his job. It's so hard to see him unhappy. Have you had a date night? Or cook him his favorite dinner? Or play a game of cards? I know I need attention so anytime DH goes out of his way to do something nice for me it makes me feel better.

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• justkeeptrying member

  July 2015

  The showing extra love thing really depends on your husband. I don't know if you've ever heard of the book the 5 Love Languages but it's excellent. It talks about how we all have a love language and the importance of showing someone love based on their love language and not on our own. We tend to show love by doing things that we would like. But in reality if your SO doesn't have the same love language as you it won't make THEM feel loved. Perhaps one of these sticks out for your DH and you can focus on it while thinking of a way to show him love.
  
  In no particular order:
  
  Acts of Service: doing something for the person (eg. Doing their laundry, having supper made for them when they get home, etc)
  
  Words of Affirmation: telling them essentially how awesome they are or noticing things they've done (eg. Thank you for doing my laundry that really helped me out a lot and I appreciate that you took the time to do it for me)
  
  Quality Time: spending time together, even if not doing the same activity. (Eg. Go out to dinner, sit with SO while he plays video games, etc)
  
  Receiving Gifts: no matter how big or small, something that makes you think of them while you're out at Walmart (eg. A new shirt, a snickers bar, etc)
  
  Physical Touch: the obvious one...I'll let you figure out what your SO likes...
  
  I'm not much help in the PPD stuff. But I just encourage you to talk to your SO as much as possible. And if you guys haven't been on a date yet I recommend it. DH and I went out for the first time a couple of nights ago. I feel like it really had a positive impact on our marriage just to be away for a couple of hours.

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• Knottie76365376 member

  July 2015

  Thanks for the support! @chambersbaby2015 I do know that book- it's great!
  @mrswynn2014 we haven't had a date night yet- but I really want to! We are living paycheck to paycheck, but when the next one comes in, date night should be a priority. LO is sleeping consistently from 7-11pm, so it's time we give it a shot!

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• kremerj1 member

  July 2015

  My hubby gets sad and jealous because he wants to help more with the baby especially after work, don't worry once he's asleep, there's no help lol we started giving lo a bottle at night so my hubby can feed him, rock and put him to bed. It's working out great and after lo is in bed, we enjoy our time!

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• gtellier member

  July 2015

  My daughter is 10 weeks and her bed time routine is pretty established, so is ALWAYS asleep by 9:30pm like clock work, and the time after that is strictly for my husband. We lie in bed and talk, cuddle, have sex, whatever we want, the point is, that time is just OURS, and before our LOs bed time was established, we really missed that time. I think husbands may feel sad because they feel they can't help much (and in reality with babies so young, they mostly need mom), but so important to give our husbands love and attention too.

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