So...Third Hand Smoke, Should I be Concerned?

dommis10 · July 2015

Hello everyone!

My MIL is a smoker as is her SO and have for many years. She is an CNA so I trust her completely that she is NEVER going to smoke around LO or hold him until she has washed her hands and would make sure SO did the same. The problem is that her apartment smells a great deal like cigarette smoke and I'm concerned about LO and his future health when we go over there. Husband doesn't exactly get why I'm worried. I go back to school (I'm a teacher) at the end of August and MIL was going to babysit at our house (which I prefer), but it has been changed (by hubbie) that LO would go to MIL apartment to be watched by MIL's SO (who I also trust, just not to the extent of MIL) in the three hour gap between hubbie and I's work schedules.

LO spent the night at MIL's apartment last night (was kinda talked into it but wasn't really comfortable with it) and I'm so worried that LO is going to suffer long term effects of the cigarette smoke. Husband thinks that by keeping him in the house while we're at work is "sheltering" him and would make MIL and SO offended because they smoke and it's not going to hurt him. It seems that I can't win as far as getting my concerns across and heard for that matter. LO is getting a bath when he gets home shortly (and I don't care how offended hubbie gets) and I plan on limiting his exposure until I go back but I feel like I'm stuck as far as how much I can do. Hubbie thinks that since he grew up around it and stayed healthy, that LO will be fine and I have worry about, I disagree.

I truly believe that the only way he is going to listen and actually think my concerns are valid is if he hears it from the Ped. I plan on bringing it up at LO's two month appointment.

Do I have a right to be concerned or am I just becoming one of those "helicopter parents"?

HoosOnFirst · July 2015

I would love to know this too. My mom and stepfather smoke, and since LO was born she banned it in her house, which is great, but it doesn't erase the years of smoke in the carpets and curtains. She just bought a pack and play, so that LO can "stay over". Both DH and I aren't comfortable with overnight (sleep) stays but I'm not sure how to say it. I'd love some medical facts so that I can be sure I'm not being overprotective. I'm so proud of my mom for cutting down on the smoking too, I don't want her to feel discouraged or upset.

YouAreMySunshine15 · July 2015

I wonder the same thing. FIL smokes pipes and smells like the smoke. It used to make me nauseous when I was pregnant. He wouldn't smoke around LO or in the house. But he probably would if we were all outside. I also worry about him holding her because his shirt reeks of it.

carajeanp37 · July 2015

I talked to my pediatrician about this - some of my neighbors smoke and sometimes when we walk in my building it reeks.. She said not to stress about it as long as LO isn't exposed to the actual smoke. I'm a huge worrier so of course I still think about it but it definitely made me feel better that she said that. That said, you have EVERY right to decide what you do and don't feel comfortable with, and if you don't want LO in their house they should all understand that.

mvargas12 · July 2015

Personally, I'd insist on them watching LO at your house. I've been in homes where people smoke inside and it's awful. Babies are so tiny and weak

eg3232 · July 2015

I would definitely be concerned. Although more research is needed, it seems that someday it will be considered as bad as second hand smoke. I, personally, would not allow it for my child either. https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/expert-answers/third-hand-smoke/faq-20057791

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