Can't stop worrying :/

bbousquet618 · July 2015

I know its not safe for a baby to come early, but I've also read some horrible stories about babies passing away just weeks or DAYS before the due date. And some stories I've read, the doctors don't even have a reason as to why it happened. These babies may have survived had they been born early. I feel so horrible for the families that have to go through that. I couldn't imagine losing a child.

I feel so helpless with her in my belly. The only way for me to know she is ok is kick counts, which sometimes i get freaked out because she doesn't move for a few hours. I feel like at this point i would rather her come early so i can watch her breath, kick, move, etc.

I'm not saying in anyway I would do something crazy like castor oil to induce, I'm just venting

Any other moms feel this way?

lifesabeach85 · July 2015

Sure thing. I think it's only natural to feel worried about your baby, and the possibility of their safety being out of your control. Try to keep in mind that the incidents you describe are EXTREMELY rare. Just keep taking care of yourself and try to relax if possible.

Maybe talk to your doctor about your anxieties, and do a limited number of kick counts per day. You should be getting weekly checks at this point too, so your doctor can help assure you that LO is healthy.

Hang in there! LO will be here soon.

Ambermom043 · July 2015

It's normal to have concerns as a FTM, but I think you need to just take a chill pill, and try to calm down.

Unless you have a legitimate problem/concern, it doesn't help you OR baby to be so worried all the time. It's better for you AND baby if you can stay calm and relax. We can worry about every possible scenario, but in the end it doesn't get you anywhere, and does not mean it will happen to you. I would say go through life expecting things to be normal, unless/until you are given a reason to believe otherwise..

I hope you can get some peace of mind soon!

cseley321 · July 2015

I have those same fears. I'm just doing my best to pay attention to her movements to try and ease my nerves.. i'm 36 weeks now and don't go in again until almost 38 weeks (also note that my last appointment was 35 weeks and 2 days... i'm pretty pissed about having to go 3 weeks without a checkup, but they just said there's no reason to come in). I don't want to have her early, but I will feel so much better when she's out. I know that we will ALWAYS worry, but I hate worrying about the unknown.

hclzmm14 · July 2015

I'm an STM and I feel the anxiety and worry are worse for me this time around due to the fact that I now know many of the terrible things that can happen during birth or even right after. So I would say it's normal. I don't even do kick counts because I just don't think it helps stress at all. I try to just relax and know that what happens will happen and there isn't much I can do to prevent a bad outcome or ensure a good one, so I take it day by day.

jessandandy09 · July 2015

sure, especially because I am an "old" mom and the perinatologist tried to scare the shit out of me about my age. But I have always let my LO's come when they are ready and they have always been fine. LO1: 11 days over due LO2: 4 days early LO3 (this is the baby they wanted to induce at 39 weeks due to age, and I refused) born on due date. So I try not to panic and remind myself that all is most likely well and that we pregnant women get very baby focused especially towards the end.

acciocoffee · July 2015

I have one of those moms who likes to send me articles about these things or she will tell me about her friend who lost her baby at whatever week I am currently at. I'm not sure why she thinks this is helpful, but she does. So I am constantly worrying when LO doesn't move for a while. The only thing that is helpful for me is to concentrate on how many people I know who have had perfectly healthy babies. It is much more likely for your baby to be perfectly fine. Plus, I figure even when she is born the worry will never actually end. There will be SIDS and Measles and whatever else is out there. She is probably actually safer on the inside!

amorgan71313 · July 2015

I definitely am feeling the same way, especially since the baby has less room each week and his movements are not as distinct as when he was throwing big punches and kicks a few weeks ago. I ended up in L+D last Friday night, I think the anxiety got to me when he wasn't quite as active as usual. Looking back I probably overreacted but it put my mind as ease. I'm Just trying to relax since I've had a very low risk pregnancy and the chance of something like that happening is very low.

Edit: I'm 38 weeks btw

emshredder · July 2015

I'm feeling this way too. I don't want her to come when she's not ready but at the same time I just wish she was here already so I know she's safe and I can see her breath and cuddle her. But like pp said having her here will bring about a whole new set of worries so I'm just trying to stay in the moment and enjoy it all.

emmacake08 · July 2015

This is such a complicated issue because all moms and OBs jointly fear this. This is one of the reasons why birth interventions are on the rise because everyone is desperate to prevent even one late term loss. Even if everyone got c sections at 37 weeks, the outcome overall wouldn't be better because maternal mortality would increase. Most birth interventions haven't helped infant mortality rates significantly either. Now don't get me wrong, I'm going to use and trust all the medicine and care I can get but some things just have to be turned over to faith. It's a healthy fear to have and the moms on this board that have experienced it have to be some of the strongest women out there. It's good to talk about your fears and process but also know when you need to trust. I hope you can get some peace of mind.

laurena612 · July 2015

I feel ya! I worry about everything - the baby, something happening to me, my DS ect. So I can totally relate and tell you you aren't the only one! It's normal to worry about our children and let me be honest and say this is the beginning from the minute we have them it's our job to worry about them! My son is 2.5 and I still get just as paranoid as I ever did when he was newborn. You have to try and train yourself to push negative thoughts out your mind when you get them although it is hard. You aren't doing yourself any good by focusing on the negatives, like a PP said whatever happens will happen and stewing over it won't prevent that. Try to relax, distract yourself and enjoy the time you have left before your little one is finally with you!

Maggies0670 · July 2015

Omg I feel the same way. I am a FTM and ak 37 weeks and I know the longer they are in there the better but I am so anxious to just see her and hold her and know that she is perfect and healthy. They told me she was breech last week and ever since then I have been worrying about what else might be wrong that they can't see or something. I know it's just anxiety since it's getting so close I have had a perfect pregnancy otherwise. I just wanna meet her already! I had a dream last night that my parents went to the doc and they told them something was wrong with her. Def couldn't go back to sleep after that but I'm sure it's just jitters. We are so close mommas just hang in their our babies are gonna be perfect!