Another newbie ;)

teresaa125 · July 2015

Hi! New to this board. I've been mostly reading and posting in the infertility board, but I'm 5 weeks, so I thought I'd try this board out!

Question- anyone else have fears of miscarriage? I had a miscarriage (at 6w) and an ectopic pregnancy (at 3w), at the start and then at the end of 2014. Now that my HCG has tripled and my embryo has implanted, I'm struggling to stay positive. I should be thrilled and most of me is thrilled, but in the back of my mind, whenever I have a cramp, I think, this is it.

It is a terrible feeling and I'm hoping it'll go away the further along I get. Any advice or connections you have would be great!

Kelley421 · July 2015

Hi Teresa and welcome, congratulations!
I know exactly how you are feeling! And tons of ladies here know too and are going through the same emotions. I'm 13 weeks today and I still check the TP for bleeding when I use the RR- I get a bad cramp and I get out my Doppler to check for a heartbeat. The fear of losing the baby we've tried so hard for can be consuming!
I tried to stay busy and my DH helped me stay sane too, by just reassuring that all was well.

MrsBwIVF · July 2015

Welcome and congrats! Honestly, I'd be worried if you didn't have those kind of fears! Your journey was difficult with lots of heartache and it's hard to fully believe it may actually be coming to the end of the bad times and moving on to the good times.

We were worried and pessimistic the whole first trimester. Every cramp, every bump, every strange feeling made me believe we would have another loss. Each day passed and our confidence would scoot up just a tad. There was honestly nothing I found that helped diminish the worry other than time and reassurance from our doctors. We were still pretty skeptical at our final RE appt at 11 when she told us to feel free to announce the world. We waited until 12w when we met with out regular ob who also said to feel free to announce before we let the good news ring. We still get a little nervous before each appt but nothing like in the beginning! We'd each get sick a day or two before just by thinking about going in.

I think this is something you will just have to wait out. And honestly, we were at the 12w mark faster than we knew it! It seems time goes by faster when you aren't worried about taking all those medicines and injections.

The other piece of advice I have is some that someone else I this board gave me. Every time you're freaking out just remember "today I am pregnant and that's amazing!"

Good luck on your journey. I suggest joining the 1st trimester group, so you can see how not alone you are right now.

MiromiM · July 2015

Welcome!

I'm not sure the fear every completely goes away. I had a scare on Saturday (30 weeks) when my normally hyper active baby just stopped moving all together. For me, the hardest part was first trimester before I got terrible MS and second trimester when my MS resolved but I couldn't feel the baby yet. Once you can feel the baby move around, things get a lot easier but it usually isn't until 16 to 20+ weeks that this happens. In the beginning, I told myself that "while I might not be pregnant tomorrow, I am pregnant today. I have worked so hard to get to this one day and I'm going to enjoy it while it lasts whether it's nine more hours, nine more days, or nine more months".

jeannaqueena · July 2015

You are surrounded by friends here. We feel those feelings too. I am 9 weeks with my 6th pregnancy. (I do have 2 amazing sons). But everyday I battle the same feelings. I have had more bad ultrasounds than good and every appointment is met with stress and anxiety. My most recent loss was a missed miscarriage at 11weeks we found out the baby measured 7. I feel like I need to get passed that mark to relax again. I really can't imagine that this baby might complete my family. I know many here are pregnant with their first and I am beyond blessed with my 2, but it still doesn't take away the feelings of anxiety.

Good luck to you and please feel free to join the 1st tri check in! It's fun to see your name move up the list!

hopes4baby · July 2015

I agree that this is a constant fear. Every twinge, every pause in symptoms. Constantly checking for blood. I assume it only goes away at delivery to be replaced by a different set of worries for the little one/s.

marnief · July 2015

Ditto everyone else...I didn't feel like I could exhale until we got the Mat21 results. This is my 2nd, and I was the same way with my first. Now at 15 weeks, I'm able to relax quite a bit more. But I do still look for blood every time I go to the bathroom. I sort of thought that was normal until I found out it wasn't! Hang in there. Come here and vent when you need to, that's what we're here for. Hugs and welcome and congrats! Wishing you a happy, healthy, and completely uneventful straight-out-of-the-textbook nine months

teresaa125 · July 2015

Thank you everyone! I am in tears reading all of your comments because I finally feel normal! It's hard to express to my friends that have never had difficulty getting pregnant and staying pregnant the anxiety and depression I feel. I am so grateful for your kind comments. And I will be grateful for each day that I am pregnant...until that morning sickness starts

thanks for letting me know about the first trimester group. I'll check it out!

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