Hi ladies,
I’m 34 and due 1/16 with my second. My DD just turned 14 months. I’m excited and so nervous about 2 under 2! I really feel like I was just pregnant with my first baby. Time really flies even if it doesn’t feel like it when you’re pregnant! I was part of the May14 group and saw a lot of sh*t go down on TB which is one reason why I’ve been slow to introduce/interact. Also, I’m trying to break my addiction to my phone (that’s not going so well).
After much thought, DH and I decided that I’d become a stay at home mom. Currently I’m in upper management at the company I work for. DH and I didn’t even get married until we were 32/34 and 2 years later we still have yet to join our bank accounts. Basically what I’m saying is that I’ve been a pretty independent career- focused woman for a long time so this will be a big change for me. I’m so fortunate to have the opportunity to stay home with my babies but am nervous for this new role in my life.
I’d love to hear any feedback from other SAHMs. Any tips? How do you manage it? Do you adhere to a strict schedule? How do you keep your sanity with 2+ little ones at home? How do you keep your kids entertained, enriched, and socialized (I love what daycare has provided my DD). How do you keep connected to life outside of the home/family? Any blogs I have to follow? My fears are that I will be overwhelmed and exhausted and lazy (as lazy as you can be with 2 kids), won’t be able to keep up with housework, that I’ll resent my husband for being 15 minutes late from work and will feel like I have to ask him for permission for $5 for a Starbucks. I know that's a lot of questions but any advice would be appreciated! Sorry so long! TIA
Re: Intro and SAHM questions
ladyexlibris your EDD is a day before me!
My SO and I are considering it. I will be a FTM and it will be a big change since I have been working and supporting my self since I was seventeen.
I am a massage practitioner and thinking of going back to get the additional 300 hours I need to become a therapist and then I can do massage part time.
The book "The Secrets of Happy Families" by Bruce Feiler has an excellent chapter on dealing with home finances. The author consults with the top people in their fields. When talking about teaching children about allowance, he consults with Warren Buffet's financial planner, for exaple.
My DH and I have joint bank accounts. Its just easier that way and I am considered an authorized user instead of a person using his card all the time
Adjusting to staying at home with the kids all the time was tough for me. I used to go out often and to change and be at home more often ... I must admit I still get cabin fever from it. So I go to a park with my DS and let him play on the slides and swing set. Helps with socialization. When I get tired of sitting there's a lot of moms taking their kids in a walk in a stroller which is nice to see. If you live near water, Try the beach or take them to a creek and play in the water. I live near family so DS plays at his cousins house which has a pool too. He likes to play with their toys too lol.
If you have extra $ membership to the zoo, go carts, a theme park, are all pluses for me and DS. I loved with daycare did for me too and you can also do the same things for your DD!
Finger painting, coloring, playdoh, looking for bugs outside lol matching games, singing and dancing. All stuff I do at home too.
stlmomof2 Everything you mentioned seriously got me so excited to have the LO here already!
apinkpelican I really hope that It works out, Its just trying to figure out when I can go back to school for the additional hours, as well as getting all the licensing stuff down.
I do have a question about insurance.. my SO is self employed and the baby will be getting added to my insurance plan, So I am wondering what experiences all the other SAHM have with insurance and costs and coverges etc..
I’d love to
We have similar families! I am a SAHM my dd will be 14mo on the 30th and I'm due 1/9. First things first... All your fears will happen for the first 3-6+ months. It gets so much easier, and you really get into a routine.hear any feedback from other SAHMs. Any
tips? How do you manage it? Do you adhere to a strict schedule? How do you keep your sanity with 2+ little
ones at home? How do you keep your kids
entertained, enriched, and socialized (I love what daycare has provided my DD). How do you keep connected to life outside of
the home/family? Any blogs I have to
follow? My fears are that I will be
overwhelmed and exhausted and lazy (as lazy as you can be with 2 kids), won’t be able to keep up with housework, that I’ll
resent my husband for being 15 minutes late from work and will feel like I have
to ask him for permission for $5 for a Starbucks. I know that's a lot of questions but any advice would be
appreciated! Sorry so long! TIA
Here's what our "schedule" looks like:
6ish: wake up
Play, eat breakfast, play
8:30or9: nap
10:30or11 until 1:30-2: get out and do something LEAVE THE HOUSE!! (We eat lunch during this time slot too)
1:30or2 until 3:30or4: nap
4-5: play
5: eat dinner
6: bath time
6:30 get ready for bed
7 bedtime
For me getting out of the house EVERY DAY is so so important for my sanity. We do things like story time at the library, mama/baby yoga classes, baby massage class, classes through community Ed, swimming lessons, etc. On days we don't have a class we go to the park or the play place in the mall or we go grocery shopping (which I admit I haven't figured out how I'll do with 2.) We have made some good friends through story time, and such so we call them to go to the park, etc with us so mama gets some much needed grown up time.
How things work with DH: we always had separate bank accounts until I became a SAHM then we got a joint account. At first I totally felt like I couldn't get a coffee or spend $5, but now it's just how it is. It's normal to use the money, because I'm always buying things for our family, our things we need. (Sometimes I NEED a coffee.)
Also on the wknds I get one day to "sleep in." DH sleeps in Sat and I sleep in Sunday. Normally only until like 8, but it's nice to have one day I don't have to be up at 6. And we each get one night off a week. Normally we split night time responsibilities(dinner,bath,bed) but we each get one night a week to go out with a friend or something.
You can do it! Just be aware when you are playing that you are teaching, so read and do all of the things your dd gets at daycare. It's going to be rough at first, but then it's So so awesome!!!
(computer froze!) play quietly, and wait for dad to get home/dinner to be ready. Then we pick up dinner, go for a walk together, come home for baths (not every night but most every other), talk about our day, read and go to bed...then repeat! My days get a little monotonous but my husband works in retail so on his days off, I usually get a little time to myself while he plays with the boys. I also watch a teachers little girl so come fall, she will be back with us as well.
I've seen you post a few times so I know you're not a total stranger but I totally get waiting for the board to settle down a little before making your intro.
I think everyone manages staying at home differently, and I saw some great ideas scrolling through earlier.
We don't keep a strict schedule with regards to daily activities, but in general meals, snacks, naps, and wake up and bedtime are fairly regular. I like to leave activities open-ended, so I let DD decide what she wants to do - read books, play, explore the backyard etc. Every day is different. For example - right now she's in a really active, physical development stage so she's playing a lot more than reading books. We always have her clean up her toys and books before bed - especially important because they are all in the family/living room and I can't stand cluttered up shared spaces.
This LO is #2 for me so I'll be finding out with some others of you about the keeping my sanity
I don't consider my job as a mother to be the entertainer - yes I do play with her but other times I encourage her to entertain herself depending on the activity in question. She has a variety of toys, puzzles, books, crayons, stuffed animals, and we sometimes let her play with things you wouldn't necessarily consider toys but teach her things nonetheless - a camping mat has been in our living room for the last 2 months because she has been playing with it every day. We also take walks nearly every week day, walk to the library every other week or so - and there are usually several other families in the children's room.
We've taken her hiking and camping, to lakes for wading/playing in the sand, we just got a canoe. In the winter we go snowshoeing or just outside to play in the snow... Local playgroups and playgrounds are a good idea if your DD is very used to playing with other kiddos.
We moved across the country from all of our family last summer so staying connected for us is mainly through skype, email, and phone calls.
Advice - set expectations regarding finances, meal prep, housework/chore responsibilities, and your personal time with your H before you have this LO. If you both know what you want to get out of the experience, it will (hopefully) be much less stressful as you all adjust to it.
I'm a SAHM to a 5 and 2 year old and obviously soon to be #3. Here is my best advice:
-join a gym with childcare if you can swing it. Getting to the gym is a great way to get out of the house, get some alone time (including a shower), and give the kids a chance to socialize with others. Our gym also has a pool so it's great family time too. Best money we spend each month!
-have a semi-schedule or a reason to get out each morning. My oldest goes to preschool so we have to get going in the morning but we go to music classes, library, etc. If we didn't have someplace to go (even if it's just grocery shopping) it's easy to feel the day drag on.
-find a mommy group! My mom friends are my saviors!!
We get together at the park, go for walks or just have play dates. We also play volleyball weekly just for a night out!
Money wise, we have always shared accounts and as a teacher my husband has always made way more than me. But ways i have found to save money staying home are:
-meal planning, having more time to plan, prep, shop and cook has saved us so much money. I can plan our meals for the week and do one grocery trip (or have groceries delivered) which saves money.
-buying memberships for outings/kids stuff. We found that our annual zoo membership was the cost of going twice. We go frequently just for short outings. We actually have family members buy it for birthday presents instead of toys.
There are days that get really hard but most days I love being at home. My favorite quote is "the days are long but the years are short". I don't think I'll regret this time!
Our grocery store offers free delivery with over $50 spent. I easily spend that weekly and actually save money not going to the store!
I'm a sahm to our 3 girls and the twins when they arrive
We follow a loose schedule now, typically we get out of the house in the morning and are always home for rest/nap time in the afternoons. Nap time for my toddler is a non-negotiable and it's the time when I get things done or nap myself (being pregnant with twins is wiping me out!!). Then usually after nap time it's playing outside, dinner, more playing outside and bedtime routine.
I agree about the gym with a childcare. I'm so thankful for our awesome gym, and my kids LOVE the childcare, so that's a plus. We also have a zoo membership, play dates with other mom friends, park time when the weather is nice. During the year we do MOPS (although this year with 2 kids in school we won't be doing that) along with other moms groups.
Dh and I have been married for 11 years and have always had joint accounts. I'm the one that manages the budget, so the money thing wasn't an big issue with us when I quit work to stay home. We've just done what works best for us.
I try to stick to a schedule throughout the week with household chores. Each day gets assigned something and typically I do at least 1 load of laundry a day (but again we have a family of 5 and the laundry is never ending). I spend Sunday planning out our meals and then either Sunday or Monday going to the grocery store.
With each child we've had our schedule changes and obviously has to be more flexible. I love staying home and someday when the kids are all in school I will go back to work. It's a tough job some days, but you'll discover what works best for you and your family and find your groove
DS1 2010
DS2 2013
DD1 2016
DS1 2010
DS2 2013
DD1 2016
The gym is a must for me and my son loves their daycare.
My son only naps once a day now, for about 3/3.5 hours. Before, I kept him on a pretty strict nap schedule.
I keep the house tidy by just constantly picking up after my son and hubby. I also have my house keeper come every other Friday, it's amazing not feeling like a maid for one day. I also do laundry during nap time.
Lots of park days, indoor playgrounds, play dates, kid museums, water parks, etc. Our city offers great classes at our rec centers.
We have all joint accounts. I handle all the money. I'm good with money and my hubby would rather not deal with it.
I have a family friend who has an in-home daycare. When I'm going insane and need a break, I drop him off there. Jack gets to play with his friends all day and I go do whatever my heart desires.
Good luck! You'll figure out what works for you as you go.
1. We are really strict on sleep schedule. We plan outings around naps and are always home so dd can nap in her crib! It makes her a really great sleeper.
2. I've never been good at or motivated to do housework. Each night I normally clean up dishes from meals and toys and do a general pick up, but most of the actual cleaning happens on the weekends and DH does most of it.
3. We don't do bath every night, either, but we always plan time for it because dd really likes to feed herself and sometimes she is COVERED in dinner and needs a bath even if we had one last night.
I think that's all I forgot...
I shower during dd's morning nap, which actually works really well. When baby comes I'm sure I'll have to shower at night when DH is home at first, but when dd was little I put her in the vibrate-y chair in the bathroom while I showered and it worked great.
I miss those days when DD would chill in her rock n play while I showered. Not so much these days as she is all over the place. Have you let DD take a shower yet? We had to on vacation be our room only has a shower. It was hilarious and DD loved it! Of course I was too nervous about slipping so we don't do it regularly at home but maybe sometime I'll take her into the shower with me if I'm desperate
You guys are all so great to share! I will be referring to this post many times I'm sure. It makes me excited to take on this challenge!!!