gift card/long distance shower question

Re: gift card/long distance shower question

• kzangs15 member

  July 2015

  I'm not a military mom, but I've heard of "online showers" - maybe that would be a less tacky option since she really wants to throw you a shower?  Especially if the invite explains that you would love to come visit everyone but can't travel due to health reasons, I wouldn't be offended at receiving such an invite.
  

  Report2 Reply
• Loading the player...
• MiromiM member

  July 2015 edited July 2015

  We moved last summer and my shower is actually being thrown out of town. I (and a few of my guests) have to travel back for it. Mind you, it's only a 2 hour drive and it's in the same state. I invited people who I knew would not be able to make the trip not because I expected a gift from them but because I wanted to say "hey, I know you can't make it but I still wanted you to feel included". My host did include our shower registry information. If they can make it, that's great. If they can't and still want  to send a gift, now they know what we need. If neither is the case, that's fine too.
  
  Personally, I'd still have a small shower. You might be surprised who all shows up (maybe even a few of your husband's coworker's wives).
  

  *Siggy Warning*
  
  
  
  
  

  

  Report1 Reply
• Yiggle09 member

  July 2015

  I like the online shower idea. I personally wouldn't take it amiss to get an invite for gift cards being an army reservist myself. I'd understand you couldn't make the trip

  Report2 Reply
• BeachBabe22 member

  July 2015

  I think asking for gift cards is rude. We are also military and our family is six hours away. My mom and sisters hosted a shower for me when my husband was in Afghanistan. I made the drive by myself and had to drive everything back to our house and unload it myself. It wasn't the most convenient situation but I received so many wonderful gifts. A lot of the bigger items that were purchased were mailed to us. Can you make the trip to MA before baby is here for a small shower?

  

  
  

  
  

  

  Report2 Reply
• jizzypuff member

  July 2015

  I feel like asking for gift cards is gift grabby and a tad bit rude. My husband is also military and unfortunately I can't make it home for a baby shower. We live in Georgia and our family and friends live in California. I would never dream of asking for gift cards I just opted for not having a baby shower even though this is my first child. For any family or friends who asked for my baby registry I sent them the link to my registry but I did not go out giving information to anyone who hasn't asked.

  Report1 Reply
• hopeful87-2 member

  July 2015

  My sister is military and was living in CA when she was pregnant and our family was in MA. I threw her a long distance shower and basically copied this lady's idea https://shealwayslovedlarking.blogspot.com/2013/05/how-to-throw-long-distance-baby-shower.html?m=1
  
  I made these cute little gift packages (obviously your MIL could make it a more appropriate theme for you, if you don't like tea) and specifically wrote on the invite that we wanted to shower her with love from afar and please to send a card or package during the week specified. By making it a thoughtful little package and saying just sending a card would be fine I didn't feel bad asking people to participate even though we didn't host a real in person shower. People loved their packages and nearly everyone chose to send gifts.
  
  Personally I wouldn't be offended for a gift card shower or any other log distance shower, I'd be happy to celebrate you and new baby! But I know I was worried about this when I was the one hosting.

  Report4 Reply
• AndieTessie member

  July 2015

  Thank you everyone for the feedback. I think the online shower is a good option to keep in mind, I never even heard of those before. I don't want to come across as rude or greedy to family and agree asking for gift cards can seem that way. I was fine with the idea of no shower, but have to admit the idea of the extra help would be nice.
  
  @BeachBabe22 unfortunately my doctor won't approve me flying or doing the drive (it's about 11hrs to MA and 14 to MI each way so I wouldn't even want to!) But luckily DH and I already purchased all the big stuff so I'm not too worried about that stuff.

  Report0 Reply
• AndieTessie member

  July 2015

  @kenzjim wow that is a great idea! I know she started some cards and worded them pretty much like the ones in the post, but the boxes are a really fun idea. Thank you!

  Report0 Reply
• rebeccabloomwood member

  July 2015

  I've heard of people registering online at amazon and such and been very successful with it! I think it's lovely that your mom wants to still throw you a shower long distance.

  Report1 Reply
• JessicaS0914 member

  July 2015

  Yeah, I would avoid it. It's basically telling people "send money". I would feel like a charity case. People who love you will send you gifts regardless of a shower. I see nothing wrong with setting up a registry and having MIL tell people about it if asked. But I wouldn't send it out.

  Report4 Reply
• BabyBugutsky member

  July 2015 edited July 2015

  kenzjim said:

  My sister is military and was living in CA when she was pregnant and our family was in MA. I threw her a long distance shower and basically copied this lady's idea https://shealwayslovedlarking.blogspot.com/2013/05/how-to-throw-long-distance-baby-shower.html?m=1
  
  I made these cute little gift packages (obviously your MIL could make it a more appropriate theme for you, if you don't like tea) and specifically wrote on the invite that we wanted to shower her with love from afar and please to send a card or package during the week specified. By making it a thoughtful little package and saying just sending a card would be fine I didn't feel bad asking people to participate even though we didn't host a real in person shower. People loved their packages and nearly everyone chose to send gifts.
  
  Personally I wouldn't be offended for a gift card shower or any other log distance shower, I'd be happy to celebrate you and new baby! But I know I was worried about this when I was the one hosting.

  This is super cute and it doesn't seem gift grabby at all.
  
  Your MIL could host a shower at her place as well and could Skype/video you and your hubby in. Then mail you the gifts or have guests mail gifts to you. She could explain on the invite you will not be there due to doctors orders.

  Report2 Reply
• michcoy85 member

  July 2015

  My sister lives far from everyone and her mil and sil threw her a gc shower. I didn't think anything of it and was happy she was having something done for her since a traditional shower wasn't going to happen.

  Report2 Reply
• madismom12345 member

  July 2015

  With my first I was living out of state due to my husband being in the military, so my mom and sister did a Skype shower. They only invited close family and a few of my closest friends, since it was pretty much all online. They sent me a cake and those who wanted to send gifts did so either to my home or some brought gifts to my moms and she packed them up and sent them after the shower. It lasted about an hour and a half, and it was great to get to celebrate our daughter even though I couldn't physically fly home. If you do the Skype/online thing, I would just recommend keeping it small as you will want to try and visit with everyone their and if there are too many people, especially those who aren't real close to your family it might be awkward for them.
  
  I agree with the others that I don't like the idea of sending out invites soliciting gift cards. Wether you have a shower or not, those who want to will send you something a way, no need to ask.
  
  

  Report2 Reply
• booksandcleverness81 member

  July 2015

  I'm military too and can't be home for a real shower so a friend is throwing me a virtual shower on Facebook. She's setting it up as an event and plans on doing trivia and games, etc for all of the guests, and providing my amazon registry info for anyone who wants to send me anything from it (including gift cards). Sounds like a good alternative to me, though I'm not planning on getting much it's still better than nothing. I wouldn't straight up ask for gift cards in lieu of a shower. It is a hard situation though isn't it?!

  Report1 Reply
• AndieTessie member

  July 2015

  @booksandcleverness81 yes it is not an easy situation! I'd be fine without a shower and I'm not expecting much, but anything extra would obviously be great. Most of DHs family is in the over 60 range so trying to coordinate anything online is a challenge lol. His mom just discovered you can send pictures through text message, so I doubt she's ever even heard of Skype. She just wants to send the "invites" to her friends and family and I love that she wants to throw me something but it'd just be so much easier if we lived closer!

  Report1 Reply
• cjstats87 member

  July 2015

  I did something similar for my husbands cousin, they lived in tn and we are in mo, their little guy came at 27 weeks and they needed everything still! Plus momma was not well after his birth, I put on there to shower the new parents with the things they need, toys for him or gift cards (even restaurant) bc they were a busy mess with a micro premie! I also set up a "registry" item for house cleaning with a local company which people donated to. I set the date to send the "shower" on one day and they LOVED getting the stuff!
  
  Even when people are away from you they still want to be part of helping...wouldn't you send a shower present if you couldn't be present for it in town or not!?

  Report1 Reply
• AndieTessie member

  July 2015

  @cjstats87 that is an excellent point! I honestly wouldn't mind getting an "invite" for something similar but I know showers are such a picky subject with a lot of people I wasn't sure if there was a tasteful way to do something long distance. That's really sweet what you did for your cousin, I bet they loved the help!!

  Report0 Reply