Interfaith family?

haligirl2318 · July 2015

Just curious if there are any interfaith families out there?

My husband is catholic and I'm Jewish. Our wedding was religion-neutral and was officiated by a justice of the peace. We celebrate major holidays together with our families and attend church or synagogue together. We have never fought about what religion to raise our children but we often flip flop between religions (while staying on the same page).

As a ftm I'm wondering how other interfaith families out there are embracing two religions and customs. Are you choosing one religion but exposing your children to both? Any roadblocks that you are encountering? Thanks in advance!

QueenCarlissa · July 2015

Even though me and my SO are of the same religion I attend church more than he does but I asked/told lol him I would love to raise my child in the church and get her baptized as a baby. He is totally fine with it but I'd love to know the answers you get to this post as to I have dated others of different religion and thought like if we got married how would we do so and how would we raise our children.

nanamp · July 2015

I think sometimes atheist/religion combo can be more challenging than two different religions.

I don't have experience with this but perhaps a good place to start is finding a synagogue that embraces interfaith families. That may be more difficult with a Catholic church...

Algundel · July 2015

My husband is Jewish and I'm Catholic..our wedding, we had both a priest and rabbi! The way we are going to go about it is, we will get them baptized as well as have a Bris! Going forward we will celebrate both holidays and go to Temple and Church. Like go to Temple one month or every other week and then church. Most likely he will become more on the catholic side as his brother (also married Catholic) are raising there kids Catholic. Right now we just want to make sure they understand the importance of both, recognize both and be a part of both! I think its definitely important to expose them to both! Best of both worlds

Good luck!!

MrsTeacher25 · July 2015

My husband is athiest and I'm Catholic. We baptized our son and will do the same with this baby. He is respectful of my beliefs and knows it is very important to me to have them be baptized, go to church especially on major holidays and be open minded to both faith and science. I am also respectful of his beliefs and we discuss how to handle different things for example, when our dog passed, we came to a compromise about talking about heaven (he doesnt believe in it while I do) by saying, "She is always with us in our hearts." It's all about compromise and talking and being honest about what is most important. When our children are old enough, they will choose what they want for themselves.

Emott13 · July 2015

I'm Catholic and my husband is non-denominational Christian. I realize it's easier for us since we share many same beliefs, but we are raising our kids Catholic with the open communication that dad is not. They will be free to ask questions and we will not hide anything from them, but we will reinforce that they are being raised catholic. For now we feel that it's the easiest way to approach things... we ran into the same issue you are, how do you communicate two sets of very different beliefs as true faith at the same time? I was raised in a Catholic/Protestant split household, and this is how my parents approached it. I never felt super confused or torn about loyalties to parents or anything.

Just figured I'd share my personal experience in case any of it sounds similar to your situation.

Good luck!

kemerson531 · July 2015

I'm having a bit of a hard time because I was raised Catholic, going to Sunday school and attending mass every week, while DH was never raised with religion in his life and was never baptized into any faith. I'd love to have our child baptized as a Catholic, but that would involve a lot of commitment from my DH (ranging from taking classes to even being baptized himself.) He has tried to compromise saying we could get our child baptized in a generic Christian ceremony, but I don't know if that would be enough for me, and especially my family. The worst part is that I feel like a bit of a hypocrite because I haven't been a practicing churchgoer since Middle School which DH knows, but I still feel it's important for children to have a basis in faith, but then be able to choose as they grow what their own beliefs are. I'm worried I'm going to end up being so passive about this that out baby will end up not being baptized as well, and that just upsets me.

DaphneMoon1 · July 2015

I'm an atheist, husband is catholic. We will expose our children to religion, but they will never be told that any one belief is "the right way".

jessielynn1 · July 2015

I am Roman Catholic and DH is baptist. Like a pp said we haven't run into a whole lot of issues because we share many of the same beliefs. Our children have all been baptized as will this lo be. Our kids are going to catholic school and we go to mass every week. We also go to daddy's church. We plan on being open with them as they get older and communicate with them so they can make informed decisions that are best for them regarding religion.

mrussello · July 2015

I am Jewish and my husband's family is catholic. He would be an admitted atheist if his grandmother wouldn't drop dead right on the spot. We were married by a rabbi, my own rabbi wouldn't marry us because we are interfaith. (My family no longer attends that temple). I go to temple with my family on holidays and we go to church for holidays and special occasions with his.

My parents were exactly the same. Both parents embraced each other's religion and we are doing the same. Celebrating major holidays and attend temple/church with family. I did not baptize my daughter and won't baptize this one but both of my kids will be bat/bar mitzvah'd. I loved it and I'm sure they will too. I will not be having a Bris for this boy, but they both will receive a Hebrew name. I do want my kids to be exposed to what I was and my husband doesn't care on his end.

I agree in teaching both sides and letting them choose as they get older. Our families support our decisions and freely take our daughter without us. I just hope that my kids are good people, the rest will fall into place.

MissMheMhe · July 2015

DH and I are both agnostic. While we will not be raising our child in a religious, church going family, we will not restrain our child from exploring religion or having a general interest in anything religious.

CaraBoonie · July 2015

I'm an Atheist Jew (Jewish by culture, but raised by 2 Atheist Jewish parents) and my husband is, as he puts it "a lazy Catholic"...I don't think he's been to church once in the 9 years I've known him, but he does believe in the overall "God thing" as I put it, lol. We plan on raising our kids essentially without religion, telling them mommy believes this, daddy believes that, other people believe other things, it's cool to believe whatever but either way it isn't a big deal and isn't a big part of our lives...he wants to baptize our kids, and I said as long as it's something where literally nobody is there, including myself, and it isn't a big ceremony thing, if he wants to quickly bring the baby to have a priest throw some water on it and say some words and that makes him feel better about heaven, go for it (although the Pope said even unbaptized atheists who are good people go to heaven, so maybe he won't even bother, the only reason he even wanted it was "just in case"). That seemed to be the extent of his caring about religion though, so likely they'll grow up with the customs (holidays, etc.) without too much of the religious stuff behind it, while learning about religion through a historical, cultural, academic lens.

Edit Added: Our wedding was 100% secular, we wrote the ceremony ourselves and the officiant was told to never mention God, as well as to never refer to me as Mrs. His Full Name (aka Mr. and Mrs. Joe Schmo, no thank you, I have my own first name, even if I took his last name, thankyouverymuch).

ChrissyD1203 · July 2015

I'm Catholic and my husband is Christian but not Catholic, but it was important to both of us to raise our kids Catholic. My faith has been such a fundamental part of my life. That said OP, this is such a great opportunity to expose your kids to different faiths. So often our faiths are just handed down to us without us questioning and exploring, but maybe the faith process will automatically be more interactive for your kids.

haligirl2318 · July 2015

@Algundel .. Our situation sounds very similar to yours. How did you do a baptism? I've been told I would have to convert to have our children baptized in the Catholic Church (maybe it was that specific church?) thanks!

designer303 · July 2015

I was raised in an interfaith family. My mother is Presbyterian and my father Jewish. My parents did their best to expose me to both religions as much as possible. I was baptized as that just left me the decision when I was 13. At that point my parents felt I had been exposed to both religions and I had to choose whether I wanted to go to Hebrew school and have a bat mitzvah or go to confirmation class and become confirmed in the church. At the time I was a baby the synagogue my parents attended would not recognize me as a member because the Jews believe that a child follows their mothers religion. But by the time I 13 and had been an active member of the synagogue they had no issue with me joining the classes and group that would be bat mitzvahed that year. You may run into more problems with the Catholic Church as my understanding is they are less flexible about membership and so on, but I don't have much experience with the Catholic Church.
To this day if we are with my parents we, my husband and son celebrate the sabbath on Fridays attend temple for high holy days and go to church most Sunday's. I chose to become to a Christian when the time came, but I respect all Jewish traditions and the religion itself. I will continue to teach our son about both.

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