Birthing Plan... Help, I feel like an airhead!

laurenashleyy · July 2015

I feel totally clueless... I didn't got to birthing classes, as my hospital charges $150 for 4 week sessions and $200 for a one day boot-camp... We just couldn't spring it! So... I could use some suggestions from STMs as to what my birthing plan should include.

I am being induce early because I have been diagnosed with IUGR (Intrauterine Growth Restriction), so my babe is measuring at 3lbs 8oz at 33 weeks. My doctor prefers to take the baby at 39 weeks, (or sooner if the baby stops to gain), so that we can begin to control his enviroment and get some weight on him...

I know that I want to breastfeed, I want skin to skin contact immediately if possible... But I'm not sure what else I need to consider!! Again, feeling totally clueless.

bmolson1 · July 2015

It sounds like you are on the right track. You don't have to have one, BTW. But you should talk to your doctor about what to expect, what you're comfortable with etc. Then put those things in writing so that the hospital staff and any on-call doctors who may attend will know what you want and what your doctor okayed. Think about how you'd answer the following: do you want pain medicine, do you want visitors, do you want baby to stay with your or DH at all times, would you prefer to tear or have an episiotomy, what about in the case of a c-section, do you still want to do skin-to-skin? Are you ok with baby receiving routine shots etc. at the time of delivery? Those are the things I addressed in my birth plan.

chelseajeanene · July 2015

I've been advised by my friends with kids not to have a set birth plan. Most of them with their set plans didn't get what they wanted because you have no way of knowing how the situation will go down. Just be open to changes if they have to happen

hatchback4g · July 2015

I have a pdf for a birth plan that had alot of things I didn't think of as a FTM... I couldn't afford classes either. I can send it to you or if you look on pinterest you might find something

rebeccabloomwood · July 2015

Just off the top of my head, a few other things that came to mind might be pain management while laboring. Hospitals offer different resources and have different rules for induction but I had to consider if I wanted to use the jet tub, laughing gas, morphine, epidural. These are all things you can talk to your doctor or ask about during your hospital visit. You'll also need to decide what you might do if you aren't dilating etc. I always take the doctors lead but some people have strong feelings one way or another towards c section and you need to know where you stand prior to. If birthing vaginally, find out what the cord process is and if you're comfortable with that as well (for example, DH is squeamish and didn't want to be offered to cut the cord, delay in cutting, cord banking/donation) I hope that helps a little!

WDDCH · July 2015

My suggestion, if you can't pay $200 for a class, is to spend about $20 to get a birth book. Better Birth or Your Best Birth lay out info in a way that helps you shape your own birth philosophy. We can tell you what we each prefer but it may not be anything that you envision for yourself.

I disagree with this notion of not having a birth plan. To have one isn't inflexible. It's your best case scenario with desire for clear communication in all decisions, including emergent ones.

You'll want to keep it short and simple (one page, bullet points). Divide into sections: Labor, Delivery, Emergency, Postpartum.

Things to consider for labor induction: if you're dilated you may request to have your water broken and wait before introducing Pitocin or that they start Pitocin right away. There are pros and cons to either scenario. Other things to consider are if you'll have drugs or not, if you want to labor in water or be free to move about, etc.

Delivery: do you want to push on your own or "purple push"? If you have an epidural you may not feel the urge to push at all or very strongly. Do you want baby on your chest right away (they may be able to check baby out right there or they may have to take baby to examine because of the IUGR), who is cutting cord?

Postpartum: do you want them to bathe baby or not? Vitamin K, Hep B, eye ointment, etc? Baby to room in if NICU isn't needed?

monicaP · July 2015

Think about pain management options. Talk to your doctor about different options and things like, does your hospital have a tub? Do you want to go natural or not? If so learning some breathing methods is important.

Also, know that things do not always go according to plan. With my first I thought I would be walking and moving through labor but by 2am with no food I was weak and my legs were like jello.

amylou512 · July 2015

This very website has a birth plan page right here: https://www.thebump.com/a/tool-birth-plan

KERJF · July 2015

I would also consider, if delivery goes smooth and you have these options, do you want certain things delayed?
We waited over an hour to have baby measured/weighed, we didnt have her first bath until the next day, who do you want/not want in the room (put it in there), music ... this is also another great birth plan generator https://blog.earthmamaangelbaby.com/birth-plan/

hrossi253 · July 2015

I really like the birth plan that they offer on this site, it's specific enough to cover most bases, and super easy for anyone (you, SO, nurses, Dr's) to understand what your wishes are. And you can just print it out and fill it in!

Jenten810 · July 2015

@wddch what is "purple push"? I'm afraid to google it.

LouLouLove · July 2015

I didn't read other responses so sorry if this has all already been said. Somethings to consider:
- pain management preferences (especially if you're trying to forgo meds)
- if you'd prefer to tear naturally over an episiotomy
- atmosphere you'd like in the room - do you want dim lights, minimum staff, etc.
- do you want to delay cord clamping
- who will cut the cord
- who is allowed to be present for the birth
- do you want constant or intermittent fetal monitoring (so you can be more mobile)
- request use of a heparin lock (again so you can be mobile)

Also, I would go over it with your doctor as well. When I went over mine with my doctor I found out a lot of my preferences were her standard practice.

LouLouLove · July 2015

I didn't read other responses so sorry if this has all already been said. Somethings to consider:
- pain management preferences (especially if you're trying to forgo meds)
- if you'd prefer to tear naturally over an episiotomy
- atmosphere you'd like in the room - do you want dim lights, minimum staff, etc.
- do you want to delay cord clamping
- who will cut the cord
- who is allowed to be present for the birth
- do you want constant or intermittent fetal monitoring (so you can be more mobile)
- request use of a heparin lock (again so you can be mobile)

Also, I would go over it with your doctor as well. When I went over mine with my doctor I found out a lot of my preferences were her standard practice.

WDDCH · July 2015

Jenten810 said:
@wddch what is "purple push"? I'm afraid to google it.

lol! It's when they tell you to hold your breath and push while counting to ten.

Go ahead and google it! There's better, and more scientific, written material out there than my ramblings.

PCMac · July 2015

The Bump has a birth plan pdf. Im a FTM and it is super detailed.

capricelili · July 2015

Hope the attached photos aren't too small, but here are some examples they showed us last week at our birthing class....

grannah · July 2015

I'm in the UK so maybe slightly different but I went to a session last week we covered
What to bring
Who do you want present
Can they have students present
The signs of labour ie not to go too early to the hospital
What position you'd like
Water births
Assisted births forceps etc
C sections if required
To snack lots to keep your energy up what pain relief you would like
What would happen if they need to cut you or if you tear.
Delivery of placenta, injection ok
What to do with placenta
Skin to skin
Who is going to cut the cord
Who will tell you what sex
Vitamin K injection

But a lot goes out the window when you are there so I've just said as natural as possible but open to anything that is needed.

I wouldn't pay to go, ours offered free being national health and everything I was told from people or Internet was what they said so not worth going really.

tlc11934 · July 2015

I printed out the birth plan from the bump and the nurse at the hospital laughed at me. Then, I proceeded to disregard every wish on my list. Water broke at home, wasn't dilating, couldn't leave the bed, etc. The hospital put the baby and my safety first and wouldn't accommodate many of my wishes. They also told me that 99% of women who delivered there got an epidural so I didn't feel as guilty. All in all, it didn't ruin my experience as i really had no expectations as a FTM - just to come home with a healthy baby. Do what feels right in the moment - no need to plan it all out.

bcamasosa · July 2015

This for newborn routine care: https://www.givingbirthnaturally.com/newborn-baby-care.html

I think it is important to have a birth plan and be open minded. Kindly ask your nurses, OB, or midwife to explain procedures to you. My husband has this printed in his wallet: (Given to us in our Bradley Classes). I think some of us find it easier to just say yes when something comes up and a doctor suggests something because he has the degree, he is the expert but you have to remember that being informed is key and being able to make informed decisions - this changes everything!!!!

Questions for Informed Consent

Currently: Is the mother okay?Is the baby okay?What is the problem?Could this be normal?
1. Tell me more about this drug or procedure, explain the reasons this is the best drug or procedure for me and my baby.
2. What are the expected results? Will my baby and I be healthier for taking it or having it done (Is it a routine procedure)
3.Are there other options?
4. Tell me more about the known side effects and liabilities.
5. Will its benefits outweigh the side effects?
6. What is the risk to me and my baby if i don't take it or have it done? Can we wait a little longer before deciding?
7. Could we have a moment alone to discuss this?
8. What procedures will also be done if we choose the procedure in question? (ex. internal continous Electric Fetal Monitoring, IV fluids, Restriction of movement and position etc.)

DChunt09 · July 2015

I can't say I had a "birth plan" with any of my pregnancies. With my son, I was induced. My daughter I had at 39 weeks after a membrane sweep. My third pregnancy I lost at 17 weeks. And with this guy (32 weeks) I'll be induced again.

I think it helped in my situation that I trusted my Dr. 100% and throughout the entire pregnancy, at different appointments, we would just talk about how we wanted things to go. It wasn't like , oh today is the day, here is my plan, let's stick to it. She knew from the beginning what I would like/ not like, if at all possible. We both wanted the same things, which helped tremendously.

I think it's important to ask as many questions as possible no matter what the procedure and if you have a plan or not. It's always a good idea. At the end of the day, it's great to have a goal, but there are no set plans ahead of time when it comes to giving birth.

laurenashleyy · July 2015

You ladies are fantastic! I guess plan is too much of a "set in stone" word... I really moreso need to know what ACTUALLY happens when you give birth... I know everyone's case is absolutely different... but my doctor is usually in and out of the office with me during my appointments because I have to rush off to another scan or NST or something like that. I have written down a lot of points/topics/questions and when I see my doctor Monday I'm going to go through as much as we can!

I am a control freak, so my main goal is to be able to take a deep breath and just go with the flow... but still be as informed as possible!

rebeccabloomwood · July 2015

Just as an aside when I went for my hospital visit, they helped me create my birth plan. They had a template that basically described everything here and my husband and I got to talk everything through on our meeting.

lfowler0702 · July 2015

My dr always says whatever you do, if you make a plan...don't "marry the plan." Just know that things change. Emergencies happen. Labors go slow. Labors go fast. Just be prepared for change.

Boobopgirl · July 2015

I prefer mine to call a "preferences" list rather than a plan and I made that very clear to the nurses at the time. It was like a "this is what I know helps me with pain. This is what I know helps me when I'm freakin' out." With a few things that I clearly did not want. (ex. I didnt want my baby to be taken anywhere without DH going along, I did not want them to break my water until I was at least 6cm dilated) And above all, I wanted them to TALK to me before they did anything unless it was a true emergency. And they did honor those wishes as much as possible in the given situation.

Two things I WILL NOT consent to for baby are the hep B shot at birth (I prefer to wait a week or two so I know baby's normal behavior before putting something in her that could cause a reaction. I know reactions are rare, but how would you know if someone you've never met before is behaving oddly.) And after DDs birth, I am very adamant about baby NOT having a bath with water until they are breastfeeding well. My first daughter had a big temp drop after her bath which made her lethargic, which made her not eat well, which led to blood sugar and jaundice issues.

Growingapepper · July 2015

@WDDCH have you done both purple pushing and mother directed? Just curious what your experience was like with both! At my Lamaze class they had us practice purple pushing (not actually pushing, but the breathing and breath holding.) The logic of not wasting a contraction made sense but it also seemed silly to hold your breath during the most strenuous part for such a long time..

WDDCH · July 2015

Growingapepper said:
@WDDCH have you done both purple pushing and mother directed? Just curious what your experience was like with both! At my Lamaze class they had us practice purple pushing (not actually pushing, but the breathing and breath holding.) The logic of not wasting a contraction made sense but it also seemed silly to hold your breath during the most strenuous part for such a long time..

Yes I have. I had the epidural with each of the ones I was told to hold my breath and push. I couldn't feel but the nurses were like screaming in my face and it was all a lot more dramatic than it needed to be.

For my drug-free births it was completely unnecessary for anyone to count: the urge to push was uncontrollable and my midwives told me to listen to my body. No one interfered. My body did the job a lot better and probably a little too fast lol. But I didn't tear with them despite how fast they were born.

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