Just so you know

Everycol0r · July 2015

I have it on excellent authority that pee stick & "Am I Pregnant" posts are considered "reportable".

Carry on.

JP927 · July 2015

Aquarius923 · July 2015

Ok Katie Perry freaks me out in the GIF...

lifeonthehill · July 2015

ETA: Jimmy Fallon! :x

kluda21 · July 2015

some people just don't have the common sense to look through guidelines. Regardless, is it really necessary to be mean to someone who you hardly know and could be going through something difficult as well?
This is supposed to be somewhere to go to find support and answers. Not somewhere to make people feel bad about themselves. The way some women act on here is in very poor taste. If someone is writing a question in a wrong forum then why can't you just simply explain that?

I am TTC for over 2 years now with some underlying medical conditions and I didn't take offense to someone asking if they could be pregnant.

kluda21 · July 2015

Oh and just so YOU know... The guidelines you keep stressing...
You're all going against them as well.

lalala2004 · July 2015

kluda21 said:

some people just don't have the common sense to look through guidelines. Regardless, is it really necessary to be mean to someone who you hardly know and could be going through something difficult as well? This is supposed to be somewhere to go to find support and answers. Not somewhere to make people feel bad about themselves. The way some women act on here is in very poor taste. If someone is writing a question in a wrong forum then why can't you just simply explain that? I am TTC for over 2 years now with some underlying medical conditions and I didn't take offense to someone asking if they could be pregnant.

Look, I haven't been here for long, but there is a pattern that emerges with this type of thing.

1. Something uses this forum as their own personal Google. That's rude and pretty dumb right off the bat.

2. Even thought they KNOW something, such as a negative test means they aren't pregnant, or it's against the rules to ask if you're pregnant, or that people can't possible KNOW they are pregnant, and they DO IT ANYWAY.

3. When people are called out on this, there are one of two reactions:

a. They apologize, everyone is happy, and they move on. Sometimes to be regulars here.

b. They throw a hissy fit and leave.

c. They never come back to answer questions they were asked and just disappeared after asking their dumb question. So they were either a troll or just embarrassed? Or their question wasn't that important to them in the first place/worked itself out.

People here are not rude, they are honest. Yes, even brutally honest sometimes, but honesty is more important than making everything all fluffy clouds and rainbows. Honesty is helpful, informing people of the rules is important, and people don't even tend to get all that snarky unless someone throws the aforementioned hissy fit. No harm in having a little fun after that.

If this were an unwelcoming environment, there wouldn't be so many supportive and happy members here already, perfectly happy with the way things are. Why aren't you one of them?

kluda21 · July 2015

I don't see it as rubbing it in anyone's face. The girl asked a simple question and got a complete high school catty mean girls response. People make mistakes blah blah blah. But you have NO IDEA what someone is feeling or going through. How would you feel if this person was bullied all their life and you just added to it. This is a community that is supposed to support and help people. We are all going through something and as women should not be spending our time bashing eachother or mocking someone. Simple as that.

kluda21 · July 2015

So basically since someone was "rude" to you , you felt the need to post memes in response? That's very mature I must say.
And your guidelines blatantly state not to post memes. So should I turn around and report you? No.

MamaBish · July 2015

kluda21 said:

some people just don't have the common sense to look through guidelines. Regardless, is it really necessary to be mean to someone who you hardly know and could be going through something difficult as well? This is supposed to be somewhere to go to find support and answers. Not somewhere to make people feel bad about themselves. The way some women act on here is in very poor taste. If someone is writing a question in a wrong forum then why can't you just simply explain that? I am TTC for over 2 years now with some underlying medical conditions and I didn't take offense to someone asking if they could be pregnant.

Hello, Some advice for you; Coming into an established community and telling them they don't do things the "right" way is not an effective way to create change and it's not all that polite either. If a person comes into a place and doesn't like how they do things, they have two choices; Leave to find a place that better suits them (lame), or stay and behave the way you think is right and just be you. You can't control how other people behave, you can only control your actions.

Mel90412 · July 2015

kluda21 said:
some people just don't have the common sense to look through guidelines. Regardless, is it really necessary to be mean to someone who you hardly know and could be going through something difficult as well?
This is supposed to be somewhere to go to find support and answers. Not somewhere to make people feel bad about themselves. The way some women act on here is in very poor taste. If someone is writing a question in a wrong forum then why can't you just simply explain that?

I am TTC for over 2 years now with some underlying medical conditions and I didn't take offense to someone asking if they could be pregnant.

I'm glad that you don't take offense to people asking if they're pregnant. That should make the TTGP board easier for you to deal with.

But just because you don't find it offensive doesn't make it inoffensive.

lalala2004 · July 2015

kluda21 said:

So basically since someone was "rude" to you , you felt the need to post memes in response? That's very mature I must say. And your guidelines blatantly state not to post memes. So should I turn around and report you? No.

They don't say not to post memes. They say not to post memes in a harassing manner. And in case it's not clear, harassing is not the same as disagreeing or making a joke.

LadyMillil · July 2015

kluda21 said:

some people just don't have the common sense to look through guidelines. Regardless, is it really necessary to be mean to someone who you hardly know and could be going through something difficult as well? This is supposed to be somewhere to go to find support and answers. Not somewhere to make people feel bad about themselves. The way some women act on here is in very poor taste. If someone is writing a question in a wrong forum then why can't you just simply explain that? I am TTC for over 2 years now with some underlying medical conditions and I didn't take offense to someone asking if they could be pregnant.

It doesn't matter how YOU feel about people posting pee sticks or asking if they are pregnant because TB community has decided that these sorts of questions are against the rules, which is outlined in the TOU. I think it's okay to hold my cell phone and do voice texting or calling while driving. Just because I'm okay with this doesn't mean that I can ignore the laws without any consequences.

JessicaB0627 · July 2015

kluda21 said:
I don't see it as rubbing it in anyone's face. The girl asked a simple question and got a complete high school catty mean girls response. People make mistakes blah blah blah. But you have NO IDEA what someone is feeling or going through. How would you feel if this person was bullied all their life and you just added to it. This is a community that is supposed to support and help people. We are all going through something and as women should not be spending our time bashing eachother or mocking someone. Simple as that.

And you don't think it's rude to come into an established community and tell them they're all rude and catty? And they should change their behavior because you think it's wrong?
All of the regulars here are so supportive and more than happy to answer questions as long as they aren't rubbing a BFP in the face of a bunch of women TRYING to get pregnant and as long as the question isn't asked 50 times a day. Do you think a board of women who might have never had a BFP be a good resource for people to ask if they're pregnant?
No.

Lulucooks · July 2015

Daybird11Six · July 2015

I wonder if I am rude and mean when I tell my students they're breaking the rules and then share with them ideas on how they can do better next time.

It's a life skill to read, follow, and respect rules and procedures everywhere you go. We don't typically get snarky until people start defending why they broke the rules, denoting a sense of entitlement, and while I don't find the "am I pregnant?" posts offensive, I do find them annoying because 1) it's impossible to answer, 2) it gets asked all the time, and 3) it's usually someone who wants glitter blown all over the place instead of actual, legit reasons they're having said "symptoms."

WinchestertoPittsburgh · July 2015

Hey guys? I ovulated two days ago and am having cramping in my uterus. It's totes the baby growing, right?

... Snarky? Yes. But totally something I feel like has been asked before. Maybe in different wording? Also yes. But can we agree that things like this do not add or contribute to the community in any way at all!? We are attempting to build a community of wise, knowledgable and headstrong women. Posts like this only bring us down a notch and this is where I get upset.

... /vent

Everycol0r · July 2015

hey @kluda21

I want to applaud you for making this thread about you!

And I also want to state that this post wasn't to anyone, ANYONE, specifically. Just a general FYI.

PrimRoseMama · July 2015

kluda21 said:
I don't see it as rubbing it in anyone's face. The girl asked a simple question and got a complete high school catty mean girls response. People make mistakes blah blah blah. But you have NO IDEA what someone is feeling or going through. How would you feel if this person was bullied all their life and you just added to it. This is a community that is supposed to support and help people. We are all going through something and as women should not be spending our time bashing eachother or mocking someone. Simple as that.

I feel like you are someone who just showed up & wants to tell us how we should behave...

That's not appreciated.
It's annoying.

It's in poor taste to show up to an established community with it's own ebb & flow-- then make demands & insult the members that have been supporting each other (just fine thank you).

KristieA · July 2015

kluda21 said:
I don't see it as rubbing it in anyone's face. The girl asked a simple question and got a complete high school catty mean girls response. People make mistakes blah blah blah. But you have NO IDEA what someone is feeling or going through. How would you feel if this person was bullied all their life and you just added to it. This is a community that is supposed to support and help people. We are all going through something and as women should not be spending our time bashing eachother or mocking someone. Simple as that.

Thanks for the lecture random internet stranger. I'll go reevaluate all my life choices now.

RiverSong15 · July 2015

kluda21 said:
I don't see it as rubbing it in anyone's face. The girl asked a simple question and got a complete high school catty mean girls response. People make mistakes blah blah blah. But you have NO IDEA what someone is feeling or going through. How would you feel if this person was bullied all their life and you just added to it. This is a community that is supposed to support and help people. We are all going through something and as women should not be spending our time bashing eachother or mocking someone. Simple as that.

FFS, telling someone that their post was rude IS NOT BULLYING. I am so freakin sick and tired of that word being thrown around on these boards every time someone didn't get a head pat for asking a question that could easily be answered by READING the guidelines. I spent YEARS of my childhood experiencing ACTUAL bullying and I am offended that people with bruised egos think that a few snarky responses on a message board means that they were bullied. Try waking up every day afraid to go to school or work. Try feeling like you can't get away from it. Do any of these criteria fit this message board? NO. Because it's not bullying to tell someone they are being rude!

gravcass · July 2015

Sorry to sidetrack from the OP (not like that hasn't already happened though)... But @RiverSong15 I LOVE your username!

RiverSong15 · July 2015

viabug said:
Sorry to sidetrack from the OP (not like that hasn't already happened though)... But @RiverSong15 I LOVE your username!

Ahhhh!!!! Have not seen that GIF before but I LOVE it!!!! Must bookmark for future use....

mommyportz · July 2015

Look, @kluda21 , I felt that everyone was being snarky and rude when I first started checking out the boards...And after asking why and getting an honest, upfront answer, I understood...And the more time I spend on here, the more I understand the tone of posts and responses from the regulars. This community is NOTHING but supportive of those that choose to respect the guidelines and support their fellow posters. If someone took the time to participate, they would understand that.

And @viabug I'm totes with you! I love your username, @RiverSong15 ...I went as Martha Jones for the 50th anniversary special!

bluemoonlight · July 2015

Maybe if everyone just ignores the threads posted that violate the TOU and, if they feel inclined, report them the person will wonder why no one has responded and look further, see old threads, actually click on the TOU etc. I know that they should research before posting but people make mistakes/might be freaking out over whether or not they are pregnant and just post.

Plus, if no one responds, the threads that violate the TOU will fall down the page faster and fewer people will see them which will help protect the members who are hurt by those questions.

Just an idea. I just want us all to get along

Lulucooks · July 2015

bluemoonlight said:
Maybe if everyone just ignores the threads posted that violate the TOU and, if they feel inclined, report them the person will wonder why no one has responded and look further, see old threads, actually click on the TOU etc. I know that they should research before posting but people make mistakes/might be freaking out over whether or not they are pregnant and just post.

Plus, if no one responds, the threads that violate the TOU will fall down the page faster and fewer people will see them which will help protect the members who are hurt by those questions.

Just an idea. I just want us all to get along

I see what you're saying, but if we don't say anything, someone else will see the question/post and think it's ok to posts similar. If we put responses I'm sure it does stop some people who may not have read the TOU.

gravcass · July 2015

Pretty sure the "ignore method" was tried. A lot of posters just bump their post back to the top to try to generate responses.

bluemoonlight · July 2015

Ah, I see. Okay, what if one person posts a basic "This is against TOU" and then everyone lets it drop down the page? If the person bumps it even after someone posts that it is against TOU then everyone can have their GIF party guilt free

Lulucooks · July 2015

bluemoonlight said:
Ah, I see. Okay, what if one person posts a basic "This is against TOU" and then everyone lets it drop down the page? If the person bumps it even after someone posts that it is against TOU then everyone can have their GIF party guilt free

Most of the tame posts that are posted but against TOU are treated as such. A couple posts stating the rules and it dies, usually they are all posted at similar times so no one knows that someone else is posting until they are done.

But the ones that have pee sticks should be flamed, specially if it's obviously positive. Because that's just rubbing it in our faces.

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